Sunday, August 17, 2014

No More Secrets

Recently I stood in front of 1,000 girls and talked about the one thing I’d always promised myself would remain a secret.

This girl... the one who travels and speaks and hangs out with some of the coolest people on the planet for a living... she knows what it’s like to feel alone. 

I walked through high school this way; with some of the most caring, loving, selfless family and friends... but somehow I felt alone.

How could I tell my family as I sat in my room that night--watching the moon reflect off the wall--that all I could think about was hanging myself on the blind cord? 

How could I tell them that no matter how tight they squeezed I couldn’t feel their arms around me anymore?

How could I tell them that the truth they spoke--that things would get better--was like the reflection on my wall... it was there; I just couldn’t grab onto it?

One of the darkest times of my life, and here I was... about to tell 1,000 strangers about it.

Best. Decision. Ever. 

They pressed in on every side, girls who got it. Girls who were all too familiar with the word “alone”. Girls who wanted more than anything to grasp at the light until the shadows fled away.

 They each had their own story, just like I had mine. (Medically induced depression from seizure meds was more than any of us knew to look for back in 1998.)

But most importantly, it opened my eyes to how very many people around me are hurting... and just can’t find the words. I don’t know if you’re one of those people tonight. Maybe this story means something to you.

If it does, I want you to know you’re more than just one girl in 1,000. You are here for a reason. Jesus brought YOU to this place, to these words, to these promises. 

And with Him... there are no more secrets. Because with Him, the truth will set you free.

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Bekah Hamrick Martin is a national speaker and the author of The Bare Naked Truth: Dating, Waiting & God’s Purity Plan (Zondervan).