Does Love Mean I Should Treat Everyone the Same Way?

We'd dated for a few months before I decided it was time to call it quits after it became clear to me our relationship wasn't what I wanted. Friendship sounded like the right thing to do when we broke up. After all, we had several friends in common and even took some of the same classes. Surely we were mature enough to be able to keep our friendship. 


Over the weeks after our breakup, it became increasingly difficult to be "friends" with my ex-boyfriend. He wanted to hang out one-on-one. He wanted a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to road trip with, and someone to study with. All of those things were definitely things I would do with any of my other friends. But I felt like there needed to be a line with him. No one-on-one time or road trips or crying shoulders. When I told him that, he frowned. 


"But...we're friends. And I want you to treat me just like you treat all our other friends. I deserve to be treated the same ways as everyone else." His eyes teared up. 


The undercurrent of his words struck me in the heart. Did he really deserve equal treatment? Was it unloving of me to draw parameters around our friendship? Was treating him differently than my other friends wrong?


I decided to stick to my decision. Unfortunately, he didn't feel like my boundaries were important, and I felt completely disrespected so I made the decision to end our friendship altogether. For months afterwards, I battled feelings of uncertainty. I didn't want to look like I hated him. I didn't want to be that girl who didn't love others. 


Craig Groeschel, author and pastor, said this in his book Soul Detox: "Our boundaries will help us to enjoy the good people without inhaling the bad. If you think that sounds unnecessary, realize that even Jesus regularly set boundaries. Our Savior loved everyone equally, but He didn’t treat everyone equally. There’s a big difference."


That person wasn't a good person for me to spend time with. The damage I'd allowed him to do to my self-esteem and my friendships with others wasn't worth any extra time. During one tear-filled journaling session, I realized he was a toxic person to me, and if I wanted to grow and thrive as a healthy young woman, we needed to stay away from each other. That boundary was hard for me. 


Pastor Steven Furtick said, "God’s command for you to love everyone is not permission for you to mismanage the investment that he’s put inside of you."


In drawing the line and saying that we couldn't continue our "friendship", what I was really telling myself was, "I'm guarding the investment God's put inside of me by choosing healthy relationships."


How do you build boundaries to promote healthy relationships in your own life? 

Ashley Mays is the former Editorial Assistant for Brio and Brio & Beyond magazines and currently writes her own fiction for teens. She enjoys rock climbing, people watching in airports, and hanging out with her mom, who is her best friend. Ashley lives with her husband in Colorado. No, they don't ski. Learn more about Ashley on facebook, twitter, or on her website.

Are Peeps Safe?

[Microsoft Clip Art]

No—I’m not talking about those marshmallows covered in sugar—although the soft, gooey, delicious things are pretty safe...

I’m actually talking about the peeps in your life—the friends you can trust. 

You know—the ones you can tell anything, including the fact that you haven’t shaved your legs in three days, and they won’t judge you.

(Scratch that. That’s something I should only write in my journal.)

If you have a friend who listens and cares, you’re lucky. But if you find yourself investing in relationships again and again only to be used or betrayed, you might have a problem: the lack of experience to know when someone’s a “safe person”.

(I first learned of this concept when I read the book “Safe People” by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend several years ago. I highly recommend the book! Truly eye-opening.)

The book prompted me to make a personal list of what a safe person looks like:

-Knows how to give and receive—the conversation is neither all about you or all about them. There is mutual caring.

-Talks kindly about other people. (If they’re constantly critical of others, they’re going to be critical of you too.)

-Has grace. Understands when you have a bad day and doesn’t berate you for it.

- Doesn’t see you as a project. Loves you where you are.

You might think it’s impossible to find a friend like this… but I’m glad to tell you God has brought several people into my life who are like this. They are out there!

Just remember that no one person is going to be “safe” all the time. Everyone has bad days, but if your friends are exhibiting unsafe symptoms all the time, that might be a sign you should reconsider spending the bulk of your time with them.

So what about you? What qualities are on your "Safe Peeps" list? What qualities aren't?

***

Thanks for checking out my mom's blog post. She's learning to be a "safe" person as she grows up... and I'm helping her grow up FAST (lack of sleep does that).

You can learn more about me at mom's blog, where she strives to tell the Bare Naked Truth always.

I finally finished The Hunger Games trilogy

Camy here, and I just finished Mockingjay yesterday.

Overall, a highly entertaining trilogy. I don’t always think Katniss is a very likable character, but I really felt for her struggles. I could wish she did somethings and not others, but then again she’s a seventeen year old girl and her government and the Capital society is cold-hearted and corrupt. Who am I to say I wouldn’t make some of the same choices? Because I think that I probably would.

Heather over at OurAdvocate pointed out something I hadn’t noticed before--throughout the entire series, there is not one word about any type of religion in Panem. That’s something worth noting, because I think that we as humans are created to believe in something. We’re built to have a spiritual hole that we try to fill, but can only be truly satisfied with Jesus.

I’m not going to try to attribute any type of Christian themes to the Hunger Games trilogy, because I don’t think that was the author’s intent anyway. But it was a good commentary on our society, and more importantly what we could be capable of.

We are all human, all fallen short of the glory of God. But thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord, that where my sin increases, His grace for me increases all the more (Rom 7:25, 5:20).

And where your sin increases, His grace for you increases all the more. Peace out, chicks.

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Stepping outside ourselves...

Betsy here!

Do you ever get the feeling your world has shrunk?

That somehow, suddenly, your world is nothing but homework and pop quizzes and fights with your best friend?

Or if you're a mom, your world is suddenly nothing but diapers and Cheezit crumbs and Nick Junior on TV?

I think we're due for a wake-up call.

It's good to get outside our own world. Up close, things look overwhelming and blurry. But when we shift our perspective, and lean back to broaden our view, things come into focus. We see more, and see more clearly.

Challenge yourself this week to wake up and ask God how you can bless someone else during your day. Maybe that's through sending a card or email or text message to a friend on your mind. Maybe that's complimenting a girl who you don't typically talk to at school on her clothing or hairstyle. Picking up something for someone that they dropped. Taking cookies to a new neighbor or a neighbor that just had a baby or a sickness in tnheir family. Smiling at strangers in the hallway. Doing a chore for your parents or sibling without being asked.

Trust me - small, random acts of kindness go a LONG way, especially in today's self-centered world. 

You'll be amazed at the results, and at the way taking your focus off your own problems brings peace and compassion and growth in your life.

Maybe you want to take it a step further and really embrace a bigger world. Go online to World Vision (http://www.worldvision.org/) and sponsor a child for an affordable monthly payment. You'll develop a relationship with this girl or boy in a foreign, poverty stricken country and exchange letters and pictures with them for years. Nothing gave me a wake up call more than when I sponsored two girls, one in Colombia and one in Lebanon. I swear they blessed me more than I ever could them.

So think about it. Step outside the box, and not just that, step outside your world. There's a lot going on out there, and when we participate in something bigger than ourselves, we change. For the better.

So bad hair day or not, broken nail or not, broken relationship or not, broken heart or not - how can you help someone ELSE today?

I'll be doing this challenge with you! Please comment and let us know what you did to help someone this week. No good deed is too small.

Messed Up!

I found this on Facebook recently and saved it as my desktop display:

If you keep a journal, you can probably relate to the fear of having someone read it and find out how messed up you really are—what you honestly think and feel when you have the freedom to not hold back. I know I do! Today, seeing this kitten's face triggered a different thought: There is Someone who knows the contents of my journals and knows how messed up I am. He knows my thoughts before I scrawl them out in frustration upon the page. When I mask my feelings for others, I am not hiding a thing from Him. Unlike the idea of a family member or friend snooping a peek at my diary, the idea that God knows the contents of my heart brings deep comfort. He knows me to the core, yet what He sees does not keep Him from adoring me. Ponder that for a moment. Consider the mess your life would be without Christ. Thank Him for loving you no matter what the contents of your journal reveal.

Habakkuk 2:20 - thots from Camy

The LORD is in his holy temple;
Let all the earth be silent before him.
(TNIV)

I forget so easily how powerful and holy God is, then I read something like this in my daily Bible reading and I have to stop and mediate on it. Somehow remembering how holy He is makes me feel closer to Him.


Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Living with Purpose - Accidentally

It's neat to see how our lives tie together, isn't it? How the threads of things we enjoyed when we were younger are woven into the tapestry of our later years.  :)

For me, it was reading and writing. I used to sit on the floor in my room surrounded by books and literally crying because I wasn't old enough to read yet!!

Now my daughter shares that same frustration at 3 years old. I wonder if she'll go on to be a multi-published author and freelance journalist one day like me...

Or will other threads in her life be woven brighter into her tapestry, such as the ballet class she graduated from tonight and performs her first recital next week?

Or the way she doctors her stuffed animals - will she be a vet?

Or the way she is mama to her baby dolls. Will she grow up to homeschool her 5 or 8 kids?

God knows. I don't, but He does. And He's working in her life to weave that picture right now.

He's doing the same for you my friend!

We all have a purpose, and sometimes, we find this purpose by "accident". Meaning we didn't realize the impact this particular hobby or thought or idea or dream would have in our lives - but God knew. There are no accidents or surprises with our Heavenly Father! EVERYTHING in our lives is with purpose and reason, even when we don't see it or understand it. At 4 years old I didn't know that me desperately wanting to read my baby Disney books would carry over into a life spent in love with words and novels and stories. Looking back, it's clear.

What threads are you weaving today to bring glory to your Father tomorrow? Next year? In 10 years?

What do you think will happen, where will you be? Please share! :)

Need to Work off Your Aggressions?

Baking cinnamon rolls for my son’s birthday doubled as working off frustration after one particularly stressful day. “I need to Knead!” I announced on Facebook. My sweet friend Lois responded by posting a recipe for Aggression Cookies. Yes, it is just what it sounds like; you are actually encouraged to take your frustrations out on the cookie dough. I plan to make them this afternoon. I haven’t had a bad day, but beating up cookie dough does sound like fun. If you’d like to join me (maybe you have some emotions to vent), here is the recipe: Aggression Cookies Combine: 1 cup light brown sugar 1 cup margarine (= 2 sticks -good quality stick margarine, softened NOTE: I don’t like margarine so I plan to use butter.) 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking soda 2 cups quick-cooking oatmeal Mix all together until evenly distributed. THEN begin working it with your hands. Poke, knead, punch, squeeze, take out your aggressions on it. The more you punish it, the better the cookies. The margarine softens from the heat of your hands and finally gets all the dough soft and slick. Roll into small balls, place on cookie sheet and press down with heel of hand. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes or until done. Sometimes it helps to have a safe, healthy outlet for blowing off steam.

More unpopular thoughts about The Hunger Games

Camy here, and I am in the middle of Mockingjay so if you’ve already read it, PLEASE don’t spoil it for me. But for what it’s worth, here is a thought that came to me today:

In The Hunger Games (book one), Peeta doesn’t actually know that much about Katniss because he never spoke to her much before the games, yet he said he’s in love with her. That’s not really love.

I know, all you bleeding romantics will be complaining. But it’s true. How can you love someone when you don’t know them? That’s not love, that’s attraction. Or infatuation, which starts going into stalker category. (Yes, I know Peeta’s not a stalker.)

Infatuation doesn’t live long in the real world when you realize how different the two of you are, or when you see him pick his nose while farting.

Infatuation can grow into love, but I don’t think someone should say they love you if they hardly KNOW you. If someone says they love you, it should mean they know you, your good side AND your faults, and they love you anyway. That’s the kind of love Jesus modeled for us.

I’ve just got to the point where they discover Peeta is … ahem, sick.

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Where is your scar?

In my recent novel release, HER FAMILY WISH, (available now through Amazon or other local booksellers in print or ebook) the theme of the story is scars - both internal and external. The hero has internal scars, the heroine has external that represent the internal. The story is a romance, that explores not only second chances at life and love, but a story that explores second chances with God.

Because we all have scars. Some run deeper than others. Abuse. Divorce. Loss. Abortion. Others are more surface level, but hurt just the same. Rejection from friends. A break up with a boyfriend. A failed test at school. Not winning in a beauty pageant. Not getting chosen for the football or chearleading team. Things that mark us and leave us not quite the same.

What is your scar today?

I have a real scar on my right thigh, from about two years ago when I had melanoma cut off my leg. Yep, full blown skin cancer. I thought the "freckle" I'd had for so long looked funny, a little different - so I went to a dermatologist. He did a biopsy (ow) and then sent it off to be tested. Called me himself two days later.

Cancer.

Thankfully, Praise God - it was surface level. He was able to go in, cut around that bad ol' freckle on all sides and under, and remove not only the offensive piece but any wayward cell that even had a chance of spreading.

It's a non-issue now, but the scar is there. And no amount of Mederma cream can totally take it away.

But there's an upside to scars that we often don't think about, because we stay caught in the drama of it. Scars can be reminders - helpful reminders. Reminders that we're weak, and need Jesus. Reminders that we aren't alone in this world, and need each other. Reminders that sin has consequences. Reminders that push us to strive forward, to do better, to be better, to grow and remember and live freely in Christ's love.

Reminders that I have no business EVER getting in a tanning bed again!

What is your scar today? Visible, or internal? Was it earned, or were you a victim?

Remember, friend, the One who bears the ultimate scars on His palms and in His side. Jesus Christ. He'll never leave you or forsake you. In a sense, He's our Mederma cream. He's smoothing out the hurt, tightening up the loose spots, bringing us back together and making us whole. No, we'll never be the same. He won't undo what's been done. But He is healing. And life.

And is able to take that which hurt us and turn it into something beautiful.

An Evening on the Island of the Colorblind

Last night I re-watched The Island of the Colorblind. It follows a neurologist and scientist on a trip to Pingelap, a small island in the South Pacific where almost 10% of the population is born with the eye disease Achromatopsia and 1/3 carry the gene for it. Achromatopsia causes total colorblindness, extreme light sensitivity, and visual acuity around 20/200.

Why would I care about visually impaired men, women, and children living on an island thousands of miles away? I felt drawn to the film because I was born with this disease. Outside the isolated community of Pingelap, Achromatopsia only occurs in about 1-in-33,000 people. It’s recessive so it tends to pop out of nowhere in families, and once it does, parents usually have more than one child with low vision. My sister Sherry has this eye problem while my sister Kristy doesn’t.

After growing up with a disorder so rare that I often find myself explaining it to doctors, the idea of a place where I would have neighbors, friends, and even teachers just like me and wouldn’t stand out as odd fascinates me. What struck me even deeper was their attitude toward the disorder. These visually impaired people get by without the sunglasses, magnifiers, and resources that I rely on, but they also grow up without being labeled disabled. The scientists had to be careful to offer things like sunglasses and magnifiers as cool tools that could make their lives easier without implying that anyone had a problem that needed fixing.

Those who had never seen color didn’t seem to miss it or feel deprived. Instead, they emphasized the patterns, tones, shadows, and textures that they did see. They obviously struggled but it didn’t consume them or hold them back. Many of the night fishermen had Achromatopsia because they see so much better after sunset. The visually impaired seemed perfectly happy and those with 20/20 vision accepted them as normal.

Their outlook got me thinking—wouldn’t it be nice if we could embrace life and others this way? Wouldn’t we all feel a lot freer focusing on what we have instead of what we don’t and noticing strengths before weaknesses? What if we decided to see ourselves and everyone we meet as perfectly normal and treat them accordingly? After all, each of us could turn the television on one day and discover that a place exists where what we thought was weird isn’t considered weird at all.

The Little Girl I Used to Be

She walked past me last night. I could see it in her eyes. The little girl I used to be.

Secrets. Her eyes held secrets. Things she could admit to no one, least of all herself.



I wept. Not outwardly, but on the inside. I wept as I wondered if she knew what made her numb, walking in this haze. I wept as I wondered if one day the pain would sneak up on her, like a thief, stealing who she was… stealing who she was becoming.

I wondered if she knew that the moment she acknowledged that pain for the first time, it would almost kill her. I wondered if she pushed it down, day after day, like a beach ball lurching from the water toward the sky.

And I prayed. I prayed for the moment she would own her pain. I prayed that it would not own her, but that she would be owned by the One whose wounds took all her shame.

****
You are not alone. If you have been abused, tell someone. If anyone can get healing, I am proof that God is greater than our greatest nightmares.

Don’t go at this alone.

For more information, contact me at www.bekahhamrickmartin.com.
****
Photo source: Microsoft Clip Art

Isaiah’s Song (Holy Lord)

Little known fact: I used to sing in Testimony A Cappella group when I was at Stanford University. It was a fantastic experience because it was the first time I ever met Christians my age who truly loved Jesus. I was a baby Christian and I learned so much about walking with Jesus from my fellow Testimony members.

This is one of the songs we sang, although we were definitely not as good as the Maranatha Singers. Our soloist was Luke, and while the rest of us were only so-so, Luke was flippin’ awesome.



I love this song because of the amazing sense of worship I feel. Do you have songs that do that for you, too?


Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Susie Magazine, Wal-Mart & You!!!!

Susie Magazine is a completely amazing magazine for teen girls, but you know what? SO MANY teen girls still don't know it exists. So what better way to let girls find this magazine then having it on the shelf at Wal-Mart!!

And YOU can help that happen! How?

So go vote! twice a day! And let's help make this happen!

Susie Magazine - Get on the Shelf!

And spread the word!!

Teens! Check out the Gideon!

The deadline is May 1st - so it's time to get a move on and apply!

What is the Gideon?

It's a Christian Media Arts Conference and Film festival held near Asheville, North Carolina August 11-16, 2012

Media Arts?

Filmmaking, Acting, Graphic novels, Comedy and Screenwriting!

Who's it for?

The conference is designed for adults that are working in the Media Arts and all of the classes are taught by professionals.

What about teens?

We have a special Intern program for Teens between 16-18 to come and take part in this spectacular conference. This allows teens to attend without bringing a parent/guardian (this makes it way cheaper!)

Would you make a great Gideon Clash Intern? Are you...

• a teen who is actively working in and/or pursuing training in the media arts?


• a teen who can interact well with a team and work in group settings?


• a teen who can interact with professionals in a respectful way?


• a teen who is eager to learn, eager to help and eager to take advantage of all that Gideon has to offer?


• a teen who is responsible and organized enough to manage the pre-conference interactions as well as the conference requirements?

Why come?

Let's face it - getting real hands-on training in filmmaking and other media arts is hard to do! At the Gideon, Interns get to interact with Christian professionals who are actively working in the Media Arts. In 2011, our interns got to help shoot a music video and produce a short film! We are excited about what's in store for 2012! You won't find anything else like it!

What do we do?

Gideon Interns get to take full advantage of all the course offerings at the Gideon Conference (the Intern Directors help guide you through the week!) But Interns get special perks! Like getting to eat meals with the faculty, giving them a chance to ask a lot of questions and learn from these working professionals. Our interns help out in classes giving them a front row seat to all the action.

Got more questions? Feel free to contact me! My friend Vonda and I have been directing the Intern Program for four years!! And yes! I'll be there this August!

Check out our website to learn more and apply today!

Don't wait! The deadline is May 1st - but you can do it!

Know others who would be interested??? Please let them know!

Easter Bunny vs. Jesus

I hope everyone had a good Easter!

I know its pretty easy to get carried away on the tide of all of those yummy Easter cookies and desserts and chocolate (anyone else have a thing for Cadbury eggs? Holla! ::wink:: ) It's easy to let the secular view of Easter (a.k.a. The Easter Bunny) steal the attention from Jesus.

(Just like Santa tries at Christmas! Nothing against the Easter Bunny or Santa, because obviously it's not "their" fault but rather society's...) Have you ever noticed though, that the two biggest religious/spiritual holidays are the only two holidays that have such fierce competition for attention? Jesus vs. The Easter Bunny / Santa Clause.

Not a coincidence. The devil is sneaky like that. I'm not saying don't do the fun seculary stuff during Easter or Christmas. It's not a sin to celebrate fun iconic characters like those two, or candy, or presents. Just don't let it be your main focus.

My Little Miss (3 years old) is memorizing partial Bible Verses for her Wednesday night AWANAS group (She's in Cubbies) Her verse this week is "He is not here. He is risen." And she says it with such jubilation and joy, like she was the angel giving the message to Mary and the others at Jesus's empty tomb herself! It's pure and beautiful and exactly what Easter is all about.

He isn't there. He is risen.

As Christians, however old we are, we should celebrate that truth every day. Our joy should never dim. We should share that good news with the hurting, lost world with that same glee that my toddler does.

We're never too old for an Easter basket full of goodies. And we're never, ever too old to keep our focus in the right place.

On an EMPTY tomb :)

Happy Easter!

Let's Be Honest

I was having a great time at the writer’s conference, learning and reconnecting with friends that I only see once a year. God had given me some much-needed direction and I’d received great feedback on a story. So why did I suddenly feel like I would burst into tears any minute?

The truth? Every time I turned around one of my friends had exciting news that far surpassed mine. Life had forced me to set aside writing projects that weren’t bringing in an income and I could no longer deny that I resented it. I felt stuck and had no idea how to get unstuck. The event that sent my fun projects to the back burner had also rattled my confidence and I was in an environment where connections required a lot of that. The fact that I was tired and let the floodgates open by sharing a prayer request that morning only compounded my private emotional storm. The last straw came when my roommate shared some wonderful news of her own as we were walking back to our room. As soon as I got inside I felt the tears burning my eyes and throat.

“Okay, I just need to confess,” I managed to get out. “I am incredibly frustrated right now.”

“Why?” The gentleness in her voice melted the last bit of reserve that repressed my tears.

I spilled out everything, feeling like such a whiney baby. Why couldn’t I be happy for my friends and content with what God had already done for me?

Instead of making less of my feelings, this sweet friend shared them. “You’re right, Jeanette, it isn’t fair. It’s time for it to be your turn.” Instead of stopping there, she helped me come up with a plan. She not only encouraged me to take a fun project off the back burner, but promised to bug me like crazy until I finished it. The longer we talked, the more I felt my frustrations drive me to action. And it all started with being honest with a safe friend and with myself. In the process, I allowed myself to be honest with God.

That night at dinner, God opened a door for me to bounce an idea off a magazine editor. She like it! Other answers came in the next twenty-four hours. As I celebrated them, I recognized God’s hand in how all of this played out. I am convinced that He wanted me to hit the wall of frustration that trigged a flood of honesty. The blessings came after I cried out to Him what He already knew: “God, I’m tired of being stuck.”

When have you seen the benefits of being honest, both with yourself and with the One who knows you best? What do you need to be honest with Him about today?

Summer Beauty Tips

This post may or may not be an attempt to redeem myself for the fact that I was celebrating No-Shave Tuesday last week when my doctor spontaneously rolled up my pant leg.

Didn't expect that.

So today I'm sharing summer beauty tips with you. Yes. Just to prove this Mom still has it. Still cares.

And you should care about a few things too if you want to have a romantic relationship*... or at least not terrify your family physician next time he wants to check your reflexes.

1. Hair -- Y'all. I love this stuff. I’ve tried some of the cheaper brands, but my hair always gets damaged. Not with this. Worth the $$ (about $10 anywhere).

2. Skin – New discovery. Walmart - $5. Seriously. Leaves you with a golden glow, just like the tanning bed (only cancer-free). Also doesn’t smell so strongly of self-tanner. Has a banana scent. {Only downside: it takes a while to build your tan.}

3. Teeth – This stuff whitens your teeth AND strengthens them. Which is good because I have a nasty little habit of grinding them into oblivion while I sleep. (What can  I say? I have an overactive dream-life.)

4. Nails – Don’t know if you’ve seen these (by Sally Hansen), but they’re fabulous. LOVE them. And so easy to apply. {Real polish -- comes off with remover but stays better than the average manicure!}

If you’re looking to go cheaper, try NYC’s polishes. About $1 at Wal-Mart. (I’m not making an ad for Wal-Mart – I promise.)

5. Clothes – Now it’s your turn. What’s in this season? Let me know in the comments.

*These reviews are given of my own accord, and I am not being compensated in any way for my opinions...

****

Hi. Thanks for reading my mom's post. I don't need any self-tanner 'cause I'm cute already. But that teeth-whitening stuff... I might give that a try it once I actually get some teefers. In the meantime, visit me at my mom's blog. I promise not to bite. At least it won't hurt.

Hunger Games and heroism

Camy here! I know Sarah went to see The Hunger Games with her daughter on opening night, but how about any of you? Who’s seen the movie? Read the books?

I admit I only read the books when I heard all the hype about it, and I really like the first book. The social commentary was so fascinating. But I’m in the middle of Catching Fire and must admit I’m not as enthralled. I’ll probably get slammed for saying this, but I don’t really see what’s so heroic about Gale that she loves him so much. He actually seems a bit selfish much of the time.

As girls, we shouldn’t just fall in love with any guy who seems halfway interested. Even if he’s madly in love with you, look at his heart. Is he heroic? Does he show the kinds of qualities God would admire? And I’m not talking piety. That’s totally different from heroism.

He should put God first and you second. He shouldn’t be a doormat, instead he should help you do the right thing even if it’s painful for him and for you. I think that’s heroism.

There are some guys who are confident rebels who are also heroic. But there are also lots of rebels who are selfish.

There are saints who are heroic, but there are also some saints who are not heroic. They can be full of themselves, or care more about what people think that what God thinks, or they can be downright selfish.

So far, in the little I’ve seen of Gale on the page, he’s just not heroic to me. He’s a rebel, which can be attractive, but he’s a bit selfish. Maybe because one of the first things I see him doing in the book is talking to Katniss about running off together, leaving their families behind. Yes, his life is hard, and it’s tough for him to see Katniss and Peeta together, but he never told her he loved her, and it wasn’t his name picked at the Reaping, was it? He doesn't know anything about what they had to do and endure.

So do you agree or disagree with me?

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

God's Crazy About Us - Even When We Drive Him Crazy ;)

I've grown up in church my entire life, and I can honestly say the moments that have provided me with the most clarity and clearest revelation of God have been taught through my toddler. She can out-preach the best sermon, hands down - and not even try.

The other day, we were driving home and she was arguing with me from the back seat. We'd had a long day, were tired, she was borderline cranky and I was already past the dividing line myself, and she decided to try to convince me she knew more about Facebook than I did.

She's three.

See, she has this old iPhone my mom gave her, that isn't connected anymore, just has games and can take pictures. It's my mom's old phone, and Little Miss uses it when we're in the car or waiting at a restaurant to entertain herself. Well she decided she wanted to put the picture she just took on facebook. (guess she's heard that a few times!)

I was trying to explain "Your phone isn't connected, baby. You don't have service. Facebook is on the internet. That phone can't do that."

She argued. "No, this is facebook right here" and she tries to show me a game on her phone that is obviously not facebook. She kept getting worked up and persistent. "I know this! It's right here!"

I sort of forgot I was the adult for a minute, and we continued to argue. I didn't want her to be deceived, and think she was doing something she wasn't - but I should have just dropped it. I forget sometimes that she's only 3, because she talks like she's 11 1/2. At one point, I actually said "Mama knows more than you, baby! Trust me!"

And it hit me. How many times do we try to convince God we know better than Him? How many times do we plead and prod and poke and said "But God, "this" is for my good. "That" is what is best for me. I know this!"

When all the time, He's in Heaven, clearly understanding how things work a WHOLE lot better than we do. Our limited perspective and understanding is like a toddler compared to an adult's - and then take that times about a zillion. God sees the whole picture, while we flounder away and point to our disconnected cell phones and try to convince Him we know what we're talking about.

What a waste of time!

During that conversation with my kid, I just wanted her to say "Okay Mama, you're right." Or "I know you know more, Mama. I trust you." Or even just - "I know this isn't really Facebook, I just want to pretend okay?" And while my hopes were based mostly on pure frustration over my toddler being too big for her britches...

(and good grief you guys sometimes she IS right - the other night during a cartoon, I said "look, a blow fish!" and she said "mama that's a puffer fish". Oy. She totally had me)

...God's desire for us to trust Him is based on pure, untainted, perfect love. He's crazy about us, even when we drive Him crazy. (and thank goodness His patience supercedes mine as a parent, because I run out far too often. His is so much more longsuffering! Thank you God!)

God wants us to trust Him in that same way. He wants us to admit "You're right God. You know more about why my husband just got laid off his job than I do. I trust You to provide for us." He wants us to say "God, I don't understand why I am suffering this particular loss but I trust You know and will see me through." Or "God, I don't know why my friends are being mean to me at school, but I trust You'll give me the right words and help me do the right thing."

One of the hardest parts of being a Christian is not being able to always get to know why. That's part of the journey - we have to accept it. We can't fully understand God on this earth and you know what? We probably don't want to. Would you REALLY want to see the entire future up front? And besides that, what kind of God would we be serving if we understand His mind and thoughts and ways? He wouldn't be that big or that powerful of a God.

So trust today, friend. Put the fake cell phone down and quit arguing. He's right. He knows more. He understands how it all works. Stop driving God crazy.

And just focus on how crazy He is about you. :) Because THAT truth is where our trust can linger.