Your Life Script

What Script Are YOU Writing For Your life?

When I say “script” I’m not talking about career goals or college plans. I’m not talking about current class schedules or finding the unique purpose for your future. While all of those are important, there are other parts of our life we need to script, too, such as:

• Dealing with peer pressure from both guys and friends.
• The search for popularity. How to find it. Or live without. Or be happy in between.
• Relationships with parents. No matter how out of touch with reality they seem to be.
• And living for God without turning your back on the world

When I was a teen I lived from day to day on every wave of emotion I experienced. On some days excitement and passion partnered up, pattering wildly within my heart. Other days, depression and anxiety were my silent friends. I lived each day as it came, with no plan for my future, for my relationships, or for my heart. I lived my life completely unscripted . . . and, well, it didn’t go so well for me.

After my boyfriend found out I was pregnant (again) he dumped me for good, and I dropped out of my senior year of high school. (It was too hard going to school—seeing him with someone else, and dealing with my own issues/mistakes/emotions too.) I decided to have my baby, especially since I was dealing with the heartache and regret of a previous abortion. And as my stomach grew, I became more and more depressed. Unlike some mistakes, an unplanned pregnancy is not one you hide very easily. Each day I walked around with the evidence sticking out before me like a basketball under my shirt.

During that painful time, I decided to give God another chance. I’d grown up in church, but during my teen years, decided I wanted to do my own thing. And when “my own thing” left me sad and alone, my grandma’s Bible study group invited me to join them. These sweet old ladies also welcomed me to church and threw me a baby shower (while my teen friends dropped out of the picture). These women showed me what the love of God is all about.

And it was during one of my depressing days, when I was six-months pregnant and feeling abandoned by both my boyfriend and friends, I gave my heart to the Lord. I told Him, “God, I’ve completely screwed up my life this time. If You can do better, please do so.” It wasn’t a fancy prayer, but it worked.

Pray for the People Behind My Book

This week, seeing the cover of my latest book Running with Roselle prompts me to pray, not for increased sales or new promotional ideas (although those would be good things), but for the two people who became dear to me as I wrote the story—my co-author and his wife. Michael Hingson’s wife Karen has been in the hospital for over a week, battling severe pneumonia that turned into acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS). The last I heard, her conditions was still pretty critical. I know Mike would appreciate your prayers.

I don’t think I ever said this to Mike, but God used him and Karen at a critical time in my life. In a year when I had a lot of negative going on, meeting Mike and writing his incredible story of growing up blind and surviving 9/11 provided an uplifting distraction. His determined spirit and refusal to let limitations hold him back inspired me as I was forced to step out in independence in new ways. Mike would say I could do it, I often thought, so would Karen. Because Mike is blind and Karen is a paraplegic, they have a special bond as a couple, depending on and helping each other while also sharing an understanding that only those who live with a disability on a daily basis really get. At a time when I’d grown a bit cynical about love, watching their relationship filled me with joy and hope. 

I thank God for Mike and Karen, not only because I had the privilege of writing about Mike’s unique life, his relationship with his guide dog, Roselle, and a miraculous escape from the World Trade Center, but because they are incredible people who came into my life at the perfect time.

So please join me in praying for Karen, and for Mike.

Can you think of someone that God brought into your life at the perfect time? Have you ever told that person what they mean to you and why?

5 Steps to Becoming a Life-Long Learner

When I became a mom at seventeen, I didn’t know a lot. I dropped out of high school my senior year and I finished my high school credits at home. I grew up in a small town, and my graduating class was under forty students. I’d gone to school with most of those students since kindergarten. So you could say that my world was pretty small.

After high school I met and married my husband, started college, and moved to a new town. I learned how to take care of a house, how to clean, how to cook. Each “growth” step was hard, and thankfully my family and friends were still close.

When John and I moved more than one hour away for him to go to college, I felt as if we’d traveled to a different universe. I learned how to live in a new town and how to make new friends. I started a small business making hand-crafted teddy bears, so I learned how to be a business woman.

A year after we moved I had another baby, so I learned how to care for multiple children. I realized I was more interested in writing than making teddy bears, and so I started doing that. I attended conferences and started learning about writing. With each step came changes, and looking back I realize my greatest asset was my ability to roll up my sleeves and try something new.

Every day we have a choice: to take a step to follow a dream or to stay stagnant and continue on as things are. I’ve grown and changed throughout the years because I hadn’t been afraid to learn. The wisest man who ever lived once said, “Do yourself a favor and learn all you can; then remember what you learn and you will prosper,” (Proverbs 19:8 GNT). He knew what he was talking about!

Here are five simple steps to becoming a life-long learner.

1. Learn who God created you to be. For a season I enjoyed being creative and making teddy bears, but when I first started pursing writing I KNEW I was made for this. I find joy even in the middle of the struggle. I always want to know more and do better. Work doesn’t seem like work {most of the time}.
2. Learn your learning style. I learn best with books and papers piled around me. I usually have to write down my thoughts to process them. When I read a book, I underline. When I attend conferences I take pages of notes, and that’s just me. Figure out how you learn best and use your preferences to your advantage.
3. Listen. I’ve learned so much from listening to others. I build relationships with people who I respect and want to learn from. I read blogs written by people I respect. I pay attention to those around me in everyday life.
4. Don’t be afraid to try something new. I try new recipes and visit new places. I watch how-to videos . . . and then try it myself!
5. Teach. The best way to incorporate your knowledge is to teach it. As a mom you have a willing student in your child. Involve your child in whatever you’re learning. If you’re cooking, sit your little one on the counter to watch you. Let your child know the things that interest you.

Because of my willingness to learn, this teen mom became a best-selling author, an avid traveler, and a teacher at conferences. I cook, have a nice house, and always have a pile of books at my side.

Learning can take you far—you just have to be brave and start! Once you start learning and growing, your life will never be the same. Your child’s life will never be the same either as he or she learns to follow in your footsteps!

If only our emotions were as adorable as our emoticons.....

I don't know about you, but some days, it seems like my emotions and feelings totally take the reins and leave me hanging on for dear life. Sound familiar?

Emoticons on Facebook or text messages can be pretty cute, even the sad or angry ones. I love using those things!!! But in real life...emotions aren't as adorable. 

It's easy to chalk it up to "That's just how it is" and "that's life" and give up claiming victory over our thoughts and emotions. 

Well guess what? We DON'T have to live that way. Jesus came that we might have life and more abundantly! 

But we can't deal with issues we haven't yet admitted are there yet, can we?  ;)

So to get started - take this quiz like I did, and see how you measure up in handling your emotions! You'll need a scrap of paper and pen to record your scores. Then let's talk about our results in the comments section! Because the best part of dealing with these issues is that we are NEVER alone in how we feel...

 http://www.christianitytoday.com/iyf/hottopics/faithvalues/17.32.html

I'll go first. I scored "Mostly B's", which puts me under this category: 

If you scored mostly B's:
You seem pretty balanced, and that's a good place to be. You're comfortable with your emotions. You're not afraid to show them, but you don't let them rule your life, either. You're able to shed a tear now and then, but you also know laughter is definitely the best medicine.

But there were two answers where I scored a C (the most emotional choice) and some of the B answers were borderline between B and C. I want to be balanced in all areas, and not let any C's in my life to get the best of me. 

So how do we work on overcoming our feelings?

1. We apply God's word to our thought life. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ." We have to actively thought our thoughts captive. 

This is also referenced in Romans 12: 1-2 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Do you see the common denominator? Our minds, our thoughts. Our feelings are based off these things. If we are thinking on negative, sad, depressing, or downcast circumstances and situations in our lives, our feelings are sure to follow. So we take the thoughts captive, and let our feelings follow. In order to take thoughts captive, you have to redirect them and choose to think on things that are of God instead. You can do this by praying, internally or out loud, and singing/worshiping Jesus when the bad thoughts come. It's a choice, and it's never easy, but always worth it. 

2.  We have to remember that feelings are not always true. In fact, I would say, MOST of the time, our feelings are very misleading and can override what we know to be true (God's Word) if we aren't careful. So remember that just because you might FEEL insignificant or FEEL unattractive or FEEL unloved or FEEL unworthy, that does NOT mean that you are. Quite the opposite, my friend!! :)  Fight those thoughts with God's word and His truth. And kick those bad emotions to the curb. 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you struggle with your emotions? How do you handle it? Do you have any other ideas to share?

Three Perfect Gifts for Your Parents (a guide for teens)

Sometimes it’s easy to forget parents are human. They mess up and hope you don’t see. They act up and hope you’ll forgive them (even if they shrink back from asking forgiveness). They get tired and cranky, know it, and feel bad about it.

Here are three perfect gifts you can give them during this time.

Photo Credit

1. Understanding. If you see one of your parents messing up tell him/her that you’re not perfect either but you appreciate what they do, and how they try.
2. Grace. Wait until the difficult moment passes and later offer a hug. Tell your parent that it must be hard having his/her role.
3. An offering. When you see that your parent is tired offer to do a small chore, make a cup of tea or suggest you watch his/her favorite movie together. It’s amazing how those little things can brighten
someone’s day!

When you feel more snuffed out than sparkling this Christmas...

It's almost Christmas...and some of you might be like me this year, desperately searching for the magic of the holiday season, but falling short. Attempting to grasp the joy and the peace and the yuletide cheer, but woefully watching it slip through your fingers. You WANT to. You LONG to. But where did it go?

Then I would love for you to visit my personal blog today and read a post I made yesterday "For the Broken This Christmas". It might encourage you or someone you know who is struggling this holiday season. I pray God uses it in your life.

http://writergetsreal.blogspot.com/2013/12/for-broken-this-christmas.html

At the Perfect Time

Last night I received an e-mail inviting me to do something that I've wanted for a long time. I was so excited that I lost all sense of maturity and professionalism. Thankfully the person inviting me to this wonderful opportunity was a friend who knew me wellb so I could freely reply with exclamation points and gushy expressions of joy.

What made this all the more thrilling is that I had given up on seeing this desire fulfilled right now. I had prayed myself to the point of feeling like a whiny child and finally had to give it over to God, knowing he would allow it when He considered me ready. The last time I journaled about it, I wrote, "God, help me to trust Your timing and be content with whatever happens,"  and made up my mind to have a good attitude.

The e-mail came--as always--when I least expected it and needed it most.  

Are you still praying for God to answer a prayer of fulfill a desire? Let this story encourage you that His answers do come, and always at the perfect time.

Are you that guy or girl?

For anyone who has ever felt invisible...

For the guy who stands in a crowded room and feels alone...

For the girl who leaves a party in tears...

For the one chosen last for a team...

For the girl who hates her reflection in the mirror...

For the guy who doesn't believe he has what it takes...

For the girl who feels she's somehow too much and not enough all at once...

For the one who feels they are never heard...

For the guy who feels incapable...

For the girl who can't find a way...

For the one who can't figure it out...

For the girl who forgot how to dream...

For the guy who forgot his courage...

You are SEEN.

You are HEARD.

You have a PURPOSE.

You have a MISSION.

You ARE enough.

You are NOT too much.

You MATTER.

You are BRAVE.

You HAVE what it takes.

You are BEAUTIFUL.

You are STRONG.

And you are LOVED.

Dreaming of Mr. Right

It’s easy to spot Mr. Right in the movies or in a good novel. He’s the one who shows up out of nowhere, casts a handsome smile, and sweeps little Miss Lonely off her feet. There are struggles to be sure. There may be moments when Mr. Right seems long gone, but if the movie/book is one of those happily-ever-after stories Him and Her will end up realizing their love and committing themselves to each other for life. Riding off in the sunset with Mr. Right is the correct ending for every good story.

Yet there is a time in all of our lives when we doubt there is a Mr. Right for us. Those dumb boys at school aren’t nearly as cute, or smart, or kind as the heroes on television, but sometimes that doesn’t seem to matter very much because we’re not necessarily Cinderella or even Snow White.

At night, as we lay in bed drifting off in sleep we may dream about our future, about our wedding day and our life, our career and our kids. But once we’re at school, or work, those thoughts seem like fading dreams. Our focus turns to reality—to today—and we forget to plan, or pray for, all those tomorrows that are hanging in the future with bright expectations.

We don’t think about Mr. Right at school. Or when we’re with our friends. We don’t consider our future wedding day and all the marriage days to follow. Instead we look around and see that all our friends are dating and we want to keep up. We watch the teen movies and desire some of that romance that we see on the big screen. We feel empty inside, incomplete, and we want loved. Need love. Sure our parents, and siblings, and maybe even friends from church or school love us, but it’s not the same. We want to experience those giddy feelings and that flutter of butterflies in our stomachs … you may feel that way, too.

So then comes the day when that guy that sits three seats in front of you in Chemistry asks you out you quickly agree. He’s just average looking, and he doesn’t go to church. He mostly hangs around his friends and plays video games or football on the front lawn after school. He’s not someone you can really imagine spending your life with, but he’s not that bad and he likes you. And you don’t want to miss the chance. After all you do want to go to the prom and you do want to experience a kiss. And so those hopes that you had when you were drifting off to sleep are forgotten. Mr. Right is just a fantasy and you live for the here and now. After all, there is no guarantee for a good future, right?

Then again, maybe there is something you can do. Maybe there is something you can do with your friends.

It’s a place to start. And it starts on your knees. Before you date. Before you give your heart PRAY. Pray for God to guide you. Pray for His will. Seek HIS peace.

And then, if you don’t have peace that this guy is God’s good, perfect will for you … at this time … for your heart.

Run. Run away from temptation. Run to God.

*Image c/o stock.xchng

What's Next?

For my last post I blogged about an exciting event that helped launch a book that I’ve been writing for almost three years. It felt amazing to finally hold a long-awaited copy in my hand. As I look forward to the day when it will go live on Amazon and other venues, my imagination goes wild with the possibilities of what God might do with this book. This week, however, that excitement is being replaced with uncertainty? Why? Because I have no idea what is next for me.

I know I am finishing a story for Kathi Macias’s 12 Days of Christmas Series and polishing a devotional to hopefully contribute to another project, but beyond that, my writing future is a mystery. I’ve never been a big fan of mysteries, particularly when I’m the main character and have little or no say in the plot twists. 

This afternoon, however, I decided that I do have a say; I can either see “What’s Next for Jeanette” as terrifying or thrilling. I have the choice to panic or sit back and wait for the surprise. Today, I am asking God to deepen my appreciation for mysteries, particularly those that star Him as the hero who gets to call all the shots and me as the supporting character. I pray that He will help me to remember that He knows what He is doing, even when the next chapter includes nothing more than a blank page with a giant question mark at the top. 

What about you? Are you enjoying the mystery?

How to Pray for Your Future Husband: Understanding

I started praying for my future husband when I was 17 years old and pregnant with my son. I wanted someone who could love both me and my child. I wanted someone who loved God. God brought me an amazing man. John and I have been married for 23 years now. We had two more biological children, and we've adopted three more . . . making that six kids total! God has done more than I'd ever hoped or imagined.

My friend Robin Gunn and I wrote Praying for Your Future Husband a few years ago. The fun part is getting photos from some of the young women who prayed—wedding photos!

Of course there are women who are still praying and waiting, and we've gotten letters from them, too. They tell us they are drawing closer to God as they wait . . . and that is exactly what we hoped for!

In the moment, though, it's hard to understand the wait. It may be hard for your future husband to understand, too.

Here are 6 ways to pray for understanding.

Pray for Understanding for Your Future Husband.

1. Pray God's Word will flood his heart.
2. Pray your future husband will seek God and try to understand what God is doing in His life.
3. Pray he has a tender heart that will be understanding of your past mistakes.
4. Pray you will be understanding of his.
5. Pray that if he has his heart broken, he will be surrounded by good friends who will support him during the healing process.
6. Pray that in each of his relationships, he will develop an understanding heart and will always believe God has a different and better plan.

When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart. —John Bunyan

Proud of Mom

For almost three years, my son Nathan has heard me talk about the book I was co-authoring with blind 9/11 survivor Michael Hingson. He listened to stories about Mike and his hero guide dog, Roselle, who guided him down 78 floor of the World Trade Center, read chapters, and offered his opinion on titles. In that time, he fell in love with Roselle, felt deeply sad when she passed away, gained a fascination for service dogs, and found it extremely cool that his mom knew a man who occasionally appeared on television. 

On Saturday night, we finally launched the book, Running with Roselle at a big speaking event that Mike and Susy Flory (his co-author for New York Times Bestseller, Thunder Dog) were doing. Nathan proudly pointed out pictures of me with Roselle when they popped up during a slidshow. He named, "Mom got to go up on stage, too" as a highlight of his evening. And at the end of the night, he got the honor of stamping each book that Mike and I signed with Roselle's pawprint stamp (her pawtograph).  

In all the exciting, I must say that having my son at my side to share every moment of the event meant as much to me as holding my first hot-off-the-press copy. Nathan didn't just tag along, he fully participated and was truly proud of his mom. The memory of him nudging me whenever he heard my name mentioned during the program, and watching his hand carefully stamp about 100 books taught me that while parents take pride in their kids' accomplishments, it is also nice to have an occasional role reversal.

As a mom, it felt nice to have my son not only share this special night with me, but also be excited for me. He treated it like the big deal it was from the moment we woke up on Saturday morning and he said, "It's your big day. Are you excited?"

I decided to share this story to inspire you. When is the last time you participated in something that was a big deal to your mom or dad? When have you shown them, "I'm proud of you" through your response to exciting news or a big accomplishment? How many times have they done this for you?

This week, maybe you can ask God for opportunity to show one of your parents that you are proud of them. Take my word for it: it never stops feeling nice.  

 

Messed Up

In May, 2012, a friend shared this postcard on Facebook and inspired a blog post that I decided to revisit and update to reflect my thoughts today.

If you keep a journal, you can relate to the fear of having someone read it and find out how messed up you are—what you honestly think and feel when you have the freedom to not hold back. When I originally wrote this post, my life was far more messed up than I wanted to let on, and my journal reflected it. Today, the journal I am keeping for a difficult-but-necessary process reveals that I still have some internal messes to clean up, but I guess I need to let that be okay for a while if I want to get rid of them for good. This means I must stop writing as if a kitten is hiding under my bed waiting to dive into my diary as soon as I leave the room and reveal my ugliness to the world.

Today, seeing this kitten's face again reminds me that there is Someone who knows the contents of my journals whether I am being completely honest on paper or not. He knows my thoughts before I scrawl them out. When I mask my feelings for others, or even for myself, I am not hiding a thing from Him. Unlike the idea of a family member or friend snooping a peek at my diary, the knowledge that God knows the contents of my heart brings deep comfort. He knows me to the core, yet what He sees does not keep Him from adoring me, so why not put it all out there?

What about you? Do you communicate your private thoughts, or even your prayers, as if someone is listening in and might use it against you? Today, join me in the challenge of being completely open and honest with the One who knows our messiness and loves us anyway.
 
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts . . .” Pslam 139:23 (NASB).

When to Share Your Faith

When to Share Your Faith … And When To Seal Your Lips

I remember the first time a college professor made fun of my faith. I was taking a history class at a small community college, but the professor spent more time talking about his atheistic beliefs than World Civilizations. He would work jabs against Christianity into every lecture. I’d sit there and squirm. I wanted to say something, anything, to make him see the error in his ways.

Finally, half-way through the semester I got up the nerve to say something to the professor. I raised my hand and made a comment about evidence of God’s hand in history. The professor listened for ten seconds, laughed, and then he continued on with his comments. I was embarrassed, and I never spoke up again. Looking back, that incident impacted me. It made me fearful of sharing my faith. I didn’t want to be embarrassed, and I got used to keeping my thoughts to myself.

It was only years later that I realized that Jesus understood and dealt with the same thing.

In Luke, Chapter 20, we see incident after incident of those who were trying to trap Jesus, to discredit him, and to make Jesus look bad in the eyes of the people. Jesus didn’t spout off volumes of truth, proving them wrong. Verse 8 says, “And Jesus responded, ‘Then I won’t tell you by what authority I do these things,’” (NLT).

Jesus knew what I learned—there are some people whose minds will not be changed no matter what we say. They have hard hearts. They listen only to come up with a rebuttal.

As Proverbs 26:4 says, “Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are” (NLT).

Jesus talks about this again in Matthew 7:6: “”Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you” (NLT).

If you come up against someone like my professor you may want to share your faith, but if that doesn’t work out don’t let it stop you from reaching out to others who have softer hearts.

When to Share

As a mom of six children, one of my greatest desires has been to raise kids who can share their faith. John and I have taken our kids on mission trips. We’ve encouraged them to be shining beacons wherever they are. We’ve taught them how to share their faith by knowing what to look for.

How can they do that? By going through these steps when reaching out to others:

Get them to trust you as a Christian.
Get them curious about Jesus.
Get them to ask questions.
Get them to consider making changes in their own lives.
Invite them to have a personal relationship with Jesus.*
Jesus knew that there were some people who wanted to hurt him, to kill him. Yet He was always on the lookout for those with seeking hearts.

In your own life, know that there will be times when sharing your faith will not be easy or fruitful. There will be times when your words will bounce off hard hearts.

Instead of being discouraged, like Jesus, look for those who trust you, are curious and ask questions. Those are the people worth spending time with. The time you spend with soft-hearted people will hopefully reap eternal rewards!

*These principles are taken from the book I Once Was Lost: What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus by Don Everts and Doug Schnapps

Waiting for Dreams to Come True

The October issue of Guideposts magazine (pictured here) includes an article that I helped a dear friend write. I’m so excited! Because the story is ghostwritten, my name is not on it, but I could care less. Not only did I love helping Lindy and her husband, Jim get their miraculous story out there, but writing for Guideposts has been a goal of mine for as long as I have been attending writers conferences. I have come close to acceptance in the past and watched many friends accomplish my desire, and it finally happened.

The other day, as I thought about how long I have been writing, how many times it felt like certain  dreams would never come true, and how many goals are yet to be accomplished, I found myself thanking God for His timing. The first story that I submitted to Guideposts and came so close to receiving a yes on was good, but it wasn’t nearly as powerful as the one I recently received sample copies of. In those years in between, my writing has grown and so have I. The acceptance came when I desperately needed a reminder that God had good things in store for me. It took weeks for me to recognize how sweet it was of Him to send this reminder through something I have wanted for so long.

Now I am waiting for other dreams to come true. It looks like one is a step closer to becoming a reality, but while I wait I will use the Guideposts story as motivation to trust my Father’s timing, knowing He knows exactly when we are ready for a moment of success.

What dreams are you still waiting to see come true? How is God building your patience?  

So much "drama" ;)

I used to joke about how I write because I can't do anything else.

That's not really true, because I write for a WHOLE lot of other reasons than that! ;)  But I've never been coordinated enough for sports, never had an above average voice for singing, or a natural musical ability, or artistic talent for drawing or painting.

Recently, however, I've gotten involved with a ministry for young adults (ages 18-30ish) that has changed my life in so many positive ways, offering a family of friends during a time in my life that otherwise would be devestatingly lonely. This group has helped me branch out not only in my walk with Christ but in other ways - like acting!

Yep, that's right. You heard it here first ;) 

I've been in two dramas so far and I am loving every minute of it. We're performing what they call "human videos" for church groups and youth groups in the area, that are proving to be so powerful. Youtube some of them (they're popular, and done around the entire country so there's a lot of them out there to watch) One is the Lifehouse "Everything" human video, the other is "Break Every Chain" (Jesus Culture version).

I'm in one tonight that is supposed to be watched by nearly 200 students, and can't wait. It's so fun being on stage and participating in something bigger than yourself, something that you know God will use to touch hearts and save souls.

So think about it. Is it time for you to branch out? Try something new that you haven't before, something that could be really good for your heart, something that could reach someone else and change your perspective on the negative in your life? Something that you felt God nudging you toward but you held back because it isn't your normal?

It might change your life.