I was reading Mitali's post a while back about the "least of these" and I just had to laugh...because I was one of those girls in high school that most people probably thought there wasn't a chance that I'd ever believe in God.
You see, in high school, I was a witch.
Yup. You read that right. I was a teenage witch. And even though I knew several Christians in high school who tried to talk to me about God, I was having none of it at the time. Little did I know that seeds were being planted in my heart that would later come up. My high school days were sadly before the days of the world-wide web so to find out about witchcraft, I did it the old-fashioned way - scouring bookstores. Back then it was harder to find stuff - now it's all down at the local Borders right next to all the Christian fiction. Yikes!
But back to these Christians I knew in high school. At the time, I didn't even understand the word "Christian". I just knew that they talked about God in a different way than I did. I still remember sitting in the back of my American Government class arguing with Hetah and Danny about Jesus. My mantra was that "Jesus" was a personal thing. But what I was really saying was that I wanted full control over what Jesus was. In effect, I created a Jesus that I was not responsible to do or think anything for. To bolster my ideas, it was at that time that Depeche Mode came out with a song called "Personal Jesus".
"Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there."
Someone who's there. That's what I was really looking for. The song itself speaks of forgiving and delivering and confessing - all good and true "Christian" things, but when I heard the song, I believed that Jesus was whatever you believed Him to be. I think that is still what's going on today even though my high school days are behind me now. I still see kids feeling lost and unsure and disillusioned with what they see in church. Heath and Danny asked me lots of questions about what I believed. I gave them answers, but I wasn't even sure myself. Being a Wiccan had given me an identity that I wasn't about to let go of, yet part of me still thought I was missing something - I just didn't know what.
The thing with sharing with people about faith - real faith, is that you just never know when those seeds will spring up. For me, it was my freshmen year of college. I still considered myself a witch. But I was also depressed and feeling desperately alone. I bet some of you can relate. So I moved away to college and landed with two roommates - who were Christians. I just couldn't get away from these people! But God finally had my attention - and I began asking questions, watching and listening. Eventually, God captured my heart.
My friends from high school thought it was a total riot that their witch classmate had become a believer. One of them, Heath, told me that if someone had told him that I would one day become one of the strongest women of God he knew that he never would have believed them.
So even if it seems like someone isn't listening - they probably are.
And even if you're confused about what someone else belives, that's okay, because they are probably confused too.
And most importantly - we just can't escape God. He is the grand Pursurer of our Hearts. I'm so glad He kept pursuing mine. To go from where I was to where I am - that is something only God can accomplish.