The owner of a photographic studio tells the story of a college boy who came in with a framed picture of his girlfriend. He wanted the picture duplicated. In removing the photograph from the frame, the studio owner noticed the inscription on the back, written by the girlfriend: ‘My dearest Tommy: I love you with all my heart. I love you more and more each day. I will love you forever and ever. I am yours for all eternity.’ It was signed ‘Dianne’ and contained a P.S.: ‘If we should ever break up, I want this picture back.’
Too often when it comes to relationships, we’re blind to what’s obvious to those around us. A bad “pick” is easier to see in someone else’s relationship than in our own. We easily notice the faults in our friend’s boyfriend, but we are blind to the faults in our guy.
After a bad break up, young women (or men!) often find themselves saying, “I should have listened to my mom . . . or my friend. They could see what he/she was like all along.”
“Whenever the truth is threatening, we tend to reach for the blinders,” says Jo-Ellen Dimitrius, author of Reading People. It’s time to take off those blinders and take a good look. Who are you choosing to commit to? Can he be considered your “best”? If not, why are you settling for less?
If you are currently in a dating relationship, ask yourself how you would view your boyfriend if you were an outsider looking in. Are you sticking around because you’re needy? Because of fear?
The person with the biggest needs or fears are usually the ones that fill their lives with the biggest Mr. Wrong.
Also, our judgment in relationships disappears when sex is thrown into the mixture. Once the powerful and pleasurable ingredient of sex is added we tend to overlook even basic flaws . . . until the passion subsides, of course. But by then it can be too late. By then, your emotions are in a tight knot.
What do you think? Have you ever reached for the blinders in a past relationship? Have you gone too far that your emotions became entangled in a tight knot? How did you deal with it? I'd love to hear your thoughts!