Sorry, I’m a couple days late with my blog entry again. Hopefully everyone’s been too busy to notice.... My apologies, but life’s been jam-packed.
Okay, it hit me last night, about 3AM when I couldn’t sleep, that in less than two weeks my hubby and I will be in Maui. And while I’m thrilled at the aspect of sun and surf, especially since there’s snow on the ground here, I also experienced this sense of dread. Like where did the time go? And why didn’t I manage to loose those ten+ pounds? And how can I stand to put on a swimsuit in December? And what about these thunder thighs? And how did I get so old anyway?
Of course, I know better than to think such destructive and superficial thoughts. Haven’t I even written books for teen girls on the subject of body image and all the reasons we shouldn’t fall victim to such idiotic forms of self torture and self loathing? Doesn't one of them release next month? (Faded Denim in TrueColors). But it was 3AM, for Pete’s sake, and we’d been eating Thanksgiving leftovers for a couple of days…what can I say?
And so I put myself through the same exercise that I’ve shared with others who fall into this self-defeating trap. Take a real inventory. And that’s when I had to pause and thank God for a pair of strong legs, so what if they’re chubby. And I thanked God for two arms that are strong enough to carry my own bags, even if they are a little flabby in places. And on I go until I begin to feel very ashamed, because I suddenly remember a dear friend who recently died of leukemia. She was about my age, but due to the ravages of her illness, was model thin before she succumbed to the disease. And, okay, now I can’t believe my ungrateful attitude toward my relatively healthy body. And I thank God for all I’m able to do—and I ask him to show me how to use it for his glory.
A Word of Encouragement
You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day. Psalm 139:15-16 (The Message)