Monday, January 02, 2006

Weary Resolutions

Let's continue on this topic of resolutions.

I've always been a planner - I make lists, plan my errands - it's just the way I think. So I can't help but make some resolutions, or goals for myself. Yesterday, when I got out of bed I was feeling really discouraged. A lot of things I wanted to happen last year just didn't. I had been praying, trying to keep the faith and yet the year went by seeing no change in my circumstance. I was feeling defeated, and a little hopeless as I dragged myself to church.

I plop into a chair (we don't have pews) and sadly remember that our church's "focus" of the year is evangelism. Now I talk to people about Christ but I'm not "go knock on a stranger's door" type of person. But instead of tuning out of the sermon I try to focus. "God I need to hear you today." I whisper.

And you know what - I did.

One of the pastor's points was how we measure success. Now he was talking in terms of evangelism, but I heard something different. Through the trials we've been through, I've had to keep my focus on Him - not on the circumstances. But truly, I couldn't help but want to actually "see" some change last year instead of just believing that it would come. Yesterday I realized how much I was still looking for the fruit on the tree instead of being content knowing that the roots are going deeper. It's not an easy thing. We live in a world where we want our results fast. And yet sometimes God delays the results because He's working on something deep inside.

So like Barb, my resolutions are a bit different this year. I need to stay focused on Him - keep my ears open to His call. And trust that the winter will give way to the spring eventually. There's a verse that talks about us watching for God like the watchman waits for the morning. Morning always comes - we never have to wonder "if" it will, we just wait for it. So my goals...wait on God - let Him renew my strength - keep the faith.

He will never fail us.

1 comment: said...

Sarah, you are doing a great job.