Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Don't accept bologna when you were created for steak

You might like bologna. I don't. I have an aversion to mixed meats, stuff made of chicken lips, and spam--the kind that arrives in my in-box or the kind in the can.

It's not that I'm a snob. It's just that I've tasted steak (or turkey or chicken), and it's SO much better.

Lately something is very heavy on my heart.

I travel around the nation speaking to teen girls. I love and know the girls in my home church. They call me "Mama Suzie". I hear from girls on my website at and

And what I'm hearing and seeing is that girls are accepting way less than they should in relationships, especially girls who are 13-15.

I don't know if the cultural messages seem like the norm, or if maybe we've had so much bologna thrown at us that we've forgotten how amazing steak can be.

I received an e-mail the other day from a girl asking how she could get a guy to notice her. I went to her site to reply and my heart fell. "Tell me I'm beautiful," she said in her blog. She posted pics that were suggestive. They weren't graphic, but it was setting herself up for all the guys who would respond that would want her body, but not her heart or her mind.

I get emails that say something like this: "This guy is so hot and he's paying me attention. When we are alone it's amazing, but he acts like I'm not alive the next day at school. What can I do to make him love me?"

These girls are asking for bologna, settling for so much less than what they should. I see girls buy into the hype that to get a guy you have to give out or that sex is little more than a hookup. I watch as girls leave great friendships to be a with a guy that treats them badly.

More bologna.

I see girls mouthing words of songs that belittle women, ignoring the reality of what is really being said as they watch the dancing, prancing video images, as they sing words like:

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl don't you stop
Keep going 'til you hit the spot

I can see the posts right now. "Suzie, how can you write those words on a blog like this?" Those were the cleanest words I could find in the lyrics of 50 Cents' Candy Shop. The rest of the lyrics were so graphic that it's mind blowing and yet girls sing along with their IPod.

These lyrics make me angry. I hope they make you just as angry.

Coz you're not some dude's sexual toy. You are a beautiful, bright, intelligent woman in the making. You have a future. You are loved and treasured by the God of the universe.

You deserve steak.

You deserve a man who loves God, and who wants nothing but the best for you, and who would never ask anything from you that would harm your future. You deserve respect, and sometimes that comes only when we first respect ourselves, and then ask it of others.

You deserve a future that has nothing to do with regrets of the past, but hopes for what God wants for you and where he is taking you.

Don't settle for bologna. Get your knife and forks out, coz God has some steak reserved just for you.


Heather Smith said...

Beautiful post! I agree. There are tons of teen girls who are out there seemingly lined up to give away their virtue. So sad. I love what you are doing here! Thanks for the visit to my site!

b said...

I competely agree with you Suzie - a lot of girls are selling themselves short, not waiting for a good Christian guy to come along.
It seems like every 12 year old girl I know or have met either has a 'boyfriend' or has a 'crush' on a really 'cute' boy. I always say something like, 'I don't think that is right' or 'What's the point of it', but they either ignore me or get mad. Oh well. I'm not planning on stopping any time soon :-)
Thank you for your blog.

Samantha said...

I agree with you, Suzie. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 6 months, haven't done the I Love You thing, or the whole kiss deal. We're both willing to take everything slow and see what happens in our future, because we're only sophomores and have the rest of our lives to do those things (if the rest of our lives is with eachother, which it may not be)
Appreciate the blog.