Thursday, July 12, 2007

My Secret Fantasy


I have this secret fantasy and I think it needs to finally come out of the closet. Well, come out of the closet if the closet were my brain. Which sounds weird, but…anyway, here’s my secret fantasy:

At some point in my life, I’ll be sitting (perfect posture, of course) in my bedroom, wearing the most beautiful dress ever, my hair will curl in perfect waves down my back and I’ll be doing something impressive, like reading the dictionary.

Suddenly, out of the blue, there will be this slight rattling against my window and I’ll dash to look out it and see the most handsome guy ever standing there, tossing little pebbles up at the window (small enough to not break it, big enough to make some noise). And of course, he’ll be holding a bouquet of white daisies. He’ll grin at me with an adorable, dimpled smile, help me climb down a trellis of fragrant pink roses and take me on the most romantic date ever recorded.

Sigh. There. It is out. Here’s why this is completely unrealistic:
1. My bedroom is on the first floor. This means no trellis. Actually, outside my window is a devastatingly beautiful display of rocks and lizards.
2. I don’t typically dress like that to sit in my room.
3. Perfect posture? Are we kidding?

I’m hoping that by sharing this secret fantasy, there will be more out there who understand this or have even had it. Or maybe not. Maybe I’m a little wacky in the head.

Here’s something else to consider: As amazing as this fantasy is, it’s not real.

I can hear you now: Duh.

Sometimes I get so caught up in how I imagine things should go, that when they don’t go that way, what do you think happens? Right. I get horribly disappointed. Who wants to live their life horribly disappointed?

Worse than all of this, how often do I imagine how God should be? Or what He should be doing in my life right now? I think He should bring a perfect fairytale ending to my crazy life and it doesn’t happen. I think He should write out the answer to every question I ask in the sky (how cool would that be?).

And yet, God asks that we trust Him. In Psalms it says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Be Still. That’s a hard command for me. I like to Be Busy or Be Loud or Be Shopping.

Be still. God is God and we aren’t. He holds the universe in His hands and yet notices when a bird with a brain the size of a pea dies. How much more will He care for you?

An Erynn-translation to a popular passage. But it is true. And that is no fantasy.

3 comments:

Jenny B. Jones said...

Erynn, that used to be my fantasy too. But now I'd love for a guy to come up to me and say, "Could I possibly mow your yard?" Or "How about I do something hot for you? Like ironing." That would totally make me swoon.

Deena said...

Erynn, I just discovered this blog, and I have to tell you something...I LOVED MISS MATCH!!! In fact, I've voted it Best Chick-Lit of 2007 on my blog. Can't wait for Re-Match:-)

Timothy Fish said...

You fantasy makes for a fun thought, but as a guy I can tell you several other reasons why it is unrealistic. First, most guys would think ahead and realize that it is a whole lot easier to just go the door and knock. A rose covered trellis is nice, but they also have thorns, so no guy in his right mind is going to suggest that girlfriend climb down that way because his is sure to get an ear full. Besides, if he has to help you down then the daisies will either end up on the ground or be crushed. I do not know of any guys who would be very impressed with a girl who reads the dictionary. I suppose there only needs to be one, but he also has to be the most handsome guy, so that is a difficult combination.

The first floor with rocks and lizards is much more workable than a rose trellis. With that a guy has the option of setting up a table outside the window with a meal that he has cooked, before he risks breaking the glass. When the girl gets up from reading and comes to the window she is greeted by candle light, and the fragrant smell of a bouquet of pink roses in the center of the table. Now she has a reason to climb through the open window at the risk of ruining her dress.

I think you are right that we tend to tell God what he should be doing, but there is more to Psalm 46:10. The rest of the verse talks about how that God will be exalted in all the Earth. If I might offer the Timothy Fish paraphrase, it seems to be saying, “relax, everything is going to turn out alright.” There are things that we do not like about how things are now. If I had my way, there are plenty of things I would change about my life, but the time will come when we will be happy with the ending and it will be far better than what we could have ever imagined. But I do not think that is all there is. Even though there are things that we must suffer in this life, I think God wants to bless us in the midst of that suffering. If we can learn to relax and accept life as it comes, we may realize just how good it really is.