Thursday, July 12, 2007
My Secret Fantasy
I have this secret fantasy and I think it needs to finally come out of the closet. Well, come out of the closet if the closet were my brain. Which sounds weird, but…anyway, here’s my secret fantasy:
At some point in my life, I’ll be sitting (perfect posture, of course) in my bedroom, wearing the most beautiful dress ever, my hair will curl in perfect waves down my back and I’ll be doing something impressive, like reading the dictionary.
Suddenly, out of the blue, there will be this slight rattling against my window and I’ll dash to look out it and see the most handsome guy ever standing there, tossing little pebbles up at the window (small enough to not break it, big enough to make some noise). And of course, he’ll be holding a bouquet of white daisies. He’ll grin at me with an adorable, dimpled smile, help me climb down a trellis of fragrant pink roses and take me on the most romantic date ever recorded.
Sigh. There. It is out. Here’s why this is completely unrealistic:
1. My bedroom is on the first floor. This means no trellis. Actually, outside my window is a devastatingly beautiful display of rocks and lizards.
2. I don’t typically dress like that to sit in my room.
3. Perfect posture? Are we kidding?
I’m hoping that by sharing this secret fantasy, there will be more out there who understand this or have even had it. Or maybe not. Maybe I’m a little wacky in the head.
Here’s something else to consider: As amazing as this fantasy is, it’s not real.
I can hear you now: Duh.
Sometimes I get so caught up in how I imagine things should go, that when they don’t go that way, what do you think happens? Right. I get horribly disappointed. Who wants to live their life horribly disappointed?
Worse than all of this, how often do I imagine how God should be? Or what He should be doing in my life right now? I think He should bring a perfect fairytale ending to my crazy life and it doesn’t happen. I think He should write out the answer to every question I ask in the sky (how cool would that be?).
And yet, God asks that we trust Him. In Psalms it says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Be Still. That’s a hard command for me. I like to Be Busy or Be Loud or Be Shopping.
Be still. God is God and we aren’t. He holds the universe in His hands and yet notices when a bird with a brain the size of a pea dies. How much more will He care for you?
An Erynn-translation to a popular passage. But it is true. And that is no fantasy.