Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Last night my husband and I got into a mini-argument. He said, "Why do you obsess over things? You get these ideas in your head and you can't let go."
"Yes, I can."
"No you can't."
I knew he was right but still, the truth can be annoying. Maybe it's because I'm a writer? Maybe it's because being a worry-wart is my natural tendency? This obsessive kind of thinking bounces around in my head during the day--sometimes it helps me write, but other times it fuels worry.
Certain nights, the Obsessive Thinking Monster pounces. Always at 4:30 a.m. I'll be sound asleep and boom! A worry hits. It happened this morning before the sun came up--yes, the same thing I'd been worried about yesterday.
Think about me, it insisted. Worry, worry, worry, it hissed. I have to admit--for a few minutes, I unfolded my concern and examined it from every angle as a physician checking out a patient. I put it under a giant magnifying glass to search for hidden clues.
Then a gentler thought eased in.
You don't have to do this, it seemed to say. I'll take it. Go back to sleep.
I formed a mental picture of Jesus trying to help me--His big strong hands reaching out.
Okay, here, I said. But the pesky worry marched right back. Pick up your worry, the thought insisted. It's yours to deal with.
But then I pictured my worry being a baby blue balloon. I pried open my fingers and let go. In my mind, my worry floated to Him. I went back to sleep.
So as I'm writing this morning, I'm thanking Him for my deep ability to think and reason with creativity. Obsessive thinking can be a blessing--especially for a writer. I've asked God to help me use my energy and thoughts only for good. I sure don't want to be that crazy-looking woman in the picture. I already have her red hair!!
How about you? Do you obsess with pesky little worries like I USED to?