Thursday, October 04, 2012

When it hurts too much to pray

I've been thinking a lot about Hannah lately; about her desire for a child.

Even when God was silent, Hannah continued to press in. Even when her heart was breaking... she didn't push the Lord away.

Lately I've been grieving my own lack of answers. And I know my heart is a great distance from Jesus, as if I've withdrawn into myself; somehow become immobilized.

Tonight, as I lay on the floor, I asked Jesus to meet me there. To make up the distance I could not reach. To give me the desire for relationship with Him in the midst of the pain He's allowing.

Not even to restore me... but just to begin by wooing me.

Woo me gently, Jesus
When I don't have the strength to raise my hand
Woo me gently, Jesus
When my heart breaks and cannot understand

I've knelt before You here so many times
I gasp for air, not sure that I'm alive
My hopes are scattered pieces on the ground
I try to speak -- my lips won't make a sound

When I am broken, lonely, and ashamed...
Gentle Jesus, woo me once again.

God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit... (Psa. 34:18)

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart... (Psa. 37:4)

Trust in the Lord and do good, trust also in Him and He will bring it to pass...
(Psa. 37:3)

Postscript: I wrote this blog before God gave me the desires of my heart. He answered my prayer most of all in allowing me to see that He was enough for me in the waiting.

Will you ask Him to be enough for you today, even when it hurts?



Katy said...

Thanks! I needed this today!

Betsy St. Amant said...

Crying AGAIN. Thanks a lot ;) No really, thanks a lot. Very timely.

Totum said...

I know this feeling! Thanks for posting, beautiful words. I referenced you on my blog.
God bless xx