Recently I stood in front of 1,000 girls and talked about the one thing I’d always promised myself would remain a secret.
This girl... the one who travels and speaks and hangs out with some of the coolest people on the planet for a living... she knows what it’s like to feel alone.
I walked through high school this way; with some of the most caring, loving, selfless family and friends... but somehow I felt alone.
How could I tell my family as I sat in my room that night--watching the moon reflect off the wall--that all I could think about was hanging myself on the blind cord?
How could I tell them that no matter how tight they squeezed I couldn’t feel their arms around me anymore?
How could I tell them that the truth they spoke--that things would get better--was like the reflection on my wall... it was there; I just couldn’t grab onto it?
One of the darkest times of my life, and here I was... about to tell 1,000 strangers about it.
Best. Decision. Ever.
They pressed in on every side, girls who got it. Girls who were all too familiar with the word “alone”. Girls who wanted more than anything to grasp at the light until the shadows fled away.
They each had their own story, just like I had mine. (Medically induced depression from seizure meds was more than any of us knew to look for back in 1998.)
But most importantly, it opened my eyes to how very many people around me are hurting... and just can’t find the words.
I don’t know if you’re one of those people tonight. Maybe this story means something to you.
If it does, I want you to know you’re more than just one girl in 1,000.
You are here for a reason.
Jesus brought YOU to this place, to these words, to these promises.
And with Him... there are no more secrets. Because with Him, the truth will set you free.
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Bekah Hamrick Martin is a national speaker and the author of The Bare Naked Truth: Dating, Waiting & God’s Purity Plan (Zondervan).
3 comments:
This post really is beautiful. The courage it takes to tell a story such as this one. I love that you chose now to write this post. Ever since the death of Robin Williams more and more people have been speaking up about depression and the fact that many people are so afraid to talk about; the ones who have been diagnosed and the ones who have not. God really is the HOPE that this world needs in such bleak and desperate times. Thank you for writing, posting, and sharing what God has brought you out of. Thank you for sharing part of yourself to a people who urgently need to hear it that they are not alone and that God is not distant, but very much so the closest one within in reach.
Also, could I share this post on my Facebook page?
Hi there! My name is Heather and I was hoping you would be able to answer my quick question about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-) I would greatly appreciate it!
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