Showing posts with label teen pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teen pregnancy. Show all posts

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Teen Mom: Trust Your Good Choices


You’ve made good choices already … trust that you will make more.

Teens make good and bad decisions every day. Lots of them. Most aren’t as visible as teen pregnancy. Perhaps you think it’s unfair. Your choice is leading you to make choices you weren’t prepared for.

You may not have been prepared to be a teen mom, but you can be a good one. By choosing to have your baby you’re already taking responsibility. You’re choosing life for your child—you’re trying to do your best.

You may not have all the knowledge, resources, and wisdom, but look around for someone to help you find what you need. You’ve made good choices already, teen mom … trust that you will make more.

I turned to God when I was a teen mom because a group of women poured love into me. I was unlovable. Those women kept loving, even when I turned my back on them, and eventually my heart softened—to them and to God.

You may not have been prepared to be a teen mom, and there are probably others who are dealing with the same emotions. Do you know another young mom in the same situation? Reach out to her. Give some time. Offer a listening ear. Affirm her good decisions. Seek help together.

Today is the day you can make a good decision. Today is the day you can reach out to another mom. Today IS the day you are loving your child. Trust that as you do more of all three, it’ll be easier to do them more.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Be Her Friend

Do you know a struggling young woman or a teen mom? Be her friend.

Take her to coffee. Listen as she shares her heart. Encourage her. Point her to where true love is found … in Jesus.

Tell her to pray for her future husband … it’ll help her to think of what she longs for in a new way. My co-written book Praying for Your Future Husband is for young women who’ve done everything right, and those who haven’t. It offers hope despite wrong choices. You can pre- order it before the May release.

If you know a teen mom … help her on her journey. She needs help, hope, encouragement, advice, and a helping hand. Buy her a copy of Life, Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Teen Mom. It’ll speak to her heart from someone who’s be there.

Finally, share your story. We’ve all messed up. God has helped us in numerous ways. Speak to her and tell of His goodness. Remind her that someone loves her more than she can imagine, and then give her a hug and tell her you love her, too.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

My Script


Looking back at my drama-filled teen years I now wonder … What was I thinking?

The truth? I wasn’t. I lived from day to day on every wave of emotion. Some days excitement and passion partnered up, pattering wildly within my heart.

Other days, depression and anxiety were my silent friends. I lived each day as it came, with no plan for my future, for my relationships, or for my heart.

I lived my life completely unscripted … and, well, it didn’t go well for me. Teen pregnancy and a broken heart were only two consequences. There were more. Even after all these years I still struggle with insecurities with pained memories. Looking back I wish I would have had a better grasp of my future. It would have helped me make better decisions for sure!

What do you want for your future? Here's an exercise to help you figure it out. Write down your answers in your journal. Think through your dreams and goals. Pray about them.

Your Name:
Today’s Date:

3–6 Months

What is one way you can improve yourself over the next few months?
What is something you need to commit to pray about?
Who would you like to build a better relationship with? How can you start?
What can you do in the next few months that will help your future?

6–12 Months

How do you imagine yourself in a year?
What can you do to prepare for that "improved" person?
What one Scripture verse can you memorize to help you in your growth?
What relationships do you need to walk away from? Who is holding you back from becoming the person you want to be?
What can you start today that will help you plan for your career path?

Beyond 12 Months

How can you become a more positive impact in your church over the next year?
What does God desire for your future?
Who can encourage you on your path?
How can you improve your relationship with your parents?
What friends will help you grow in your faith? In what ways can you help them grow?

5 years from now

Where do you see yourself? In college? On the mission field?
What steps can you take to get there?
What type of person do you need to be to attract the man of your dreams?
These are just a few things to get your started! Feel free to talk about these to your friends, your mentors! The more we think, plan, and pray, the closer we will get to achieving God's dreams--wonderful dreams--for our lives!


~~~
About Tricia: Tricia Goyer is the author of thirty books including Songbird Under a German Moon, The Swiss Courier, and the mommy memoir, Blue Like Play Dough. She won Historical Novel of the Year in 2005 and 2006 from ACFW, and was honored with the Writer of the Year award from Mt. Hermon Writer's Conference in 2003. Tricia's book Life Interrupted was a finalist for the Gold Medallion in 2005. In addition to her novels, Tricia writes non-fiction books and magazine articles for publications like MomSense and Thriving Family. Tricia is a regular speaker at conventions and conferences, and has been a workshop presenter at the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International Conventions. She and her family make their home in Little Rock, Arkansas where they are part of the ministry of FamilyLife. www.triciagoyer.com

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

MTV's Teen Mom

The MTV show Teen Mom (spun off from 16 and Pregnant) is the hottest thing out there. You know it's big when these teen parents grace the majority of the magazine covers at check out stands.

Recently, during a radio interview I was asked what I thought about the show. Of course I was happen to give my opinion. :)

I think it's SAD! I think it's wrong for a show to exploit teen parents like this. I've watched the majority of the shows and my heart goes out to the young people.

What I don't like is the TV camera getting caught up in their drama and angst. There have been fist fights, shouting matches, tears. Lots of tears. Yes, it's reality, but can't we do better?

What I would LOVE to see is a show that would help these young parents.  An Extreme Makeover of their life and circumstances. People could be brought in to give them guidance on their education and parenting classes and job training and relationship counseling and ... a listening ear.

Why are we so fascinated with seeing these teens fumble? Should we make stars out of them because their problems make for good TV?

While I can't be a personal mentor to all these young people (I wish I could), I'm going to do my part in reaching out to the young parents God put in my path.

Won't you do the same? These young parents need you. Your loving care could be the first step in the makeover of their lives.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Hollywood Baby Boom Isn't Just About Sex


It's being called the Hollywood baby boom because all of the stars, it seems, recently had, is about to have, or just announced they're having a baby. It's a trend that I've been noticing for a while, just check out the covers of magazines like People and Us. If I took time to compare covers from now and twenty or thirty years ago the message would be clear: babies are hot stuff.

I knew this was coming, and I don't think we've hit the peak yet. When I mentioned the Hollywood baby boom on Twitter one of my friends wrote back and said, “It's just not in Hollywood, all my friends are pregnant.”

Another friend sent me this tweet. “Did you hear about the high school in Memphis? 86 teens are pregnant in one school.” I looked it up and she was right. You can find the information HERE.

So what's up with that? Is it all about the sex? Are people more sexually active and then, “Whoops, here comes baby.”

One school official in Memphis thinks so. The last line in the article linked above says:

“It’s upsetting that we continue to see the rates of teen pregnancy ticking up in certain areas,” Alvarez said. “I think we really need to focus on education – that’s really the key.”

Is she right? Maybe in part. I'm sure there are some teens that let their passions take them away and didn't fully understand how to prevent pregnancy. But I think that's the minority. It goes deeper than that. It goes to the heart.

You see, our fascination with children didn't start in the last few years. It started with our parents. As you know each generations seems to flip their values. The dedicated, stable, hard working Baby Boomers raised the wild “love children” of the 60's and 70's. Those hippies are our parents. Their generation brought in legalized abortion. They brought in latch key children. My friends and I were the ones who had moms and dads who both worked outside of the home (more than any other time in history). Our parents were also the ones who increased the divorce/live ins/and multiple marriages thing. We had bio dads, step moms, step dads and then there were the boy/girlfriends that never committed themselves to marriage. Children were everyone's last concern.

“The best type of parent is a happy parent” was the motto of those years. Really? I wonder if the kids would agree.

So where does that leave us?

Like I quoted in my book, Generation NeXt Parenting:

“Because of the loneliness and alienation of splintered family attachments, 'experts' have claimed that the strongest desire of Gen Xers is acceptance and belonging.”

Here's another statistic from Generation Next Parenting. “According to a 2003 survey of 2,020 parents, twice as may Gen X mothers spent more than twelve hours a day attending to children rearing and household responsibilities.

"Rough half of Gen X fathers devoted three to six hours a day to domesticity. Only 39 percent of baby boomer dads could stay the same.”

A Peer Personality is a generation persona recognized and determined by (1) common age and location; (3) common beliefs and behavior; and (3) perceived membership in a common generation.

So what is our Peer Personality? If I were to sum it up, our generation is like a stubborn five year old. We have our fingers wagging in our ears and our tongues sticking out. “Naher, naher, I don't care what you think. CHILDREN ARE IMPORTANT!”

I have to admit I too have pulled those magazines off the checkstand aisle, flipping through and checking out the star-babies. That's the value I hold deep in my heart, too: “Children are important.” If I look around, I see this lived out by myself and those in my generation in a few ways.

There is ...
a rise in stay-at-home moms
a huge jump in homeschooling or private/charter schools
an increase in extracurricular activities
a growing number of families adopting children

Those are the positives. I started out this blog talking about other, more negative factors such as the Hollywood baby boom (which I feel is negative because of the lack of committed star marriages) and the rise in teen pregnancy.

Whether positive or negative, the core value that we hold closest is clear: family and children are worth most. This became our greatest value because of we lacked in our growing up years. As one teen mom told me, “I wanted someone to love. Someone who would always be mine.” She'd been abandoned by her parents, and she'd been violated by others in her life. She longed for love and a child seemed like a safe place to find that love.

So truthfully, I don't think education has much to do with it. The majority of people know how NOT to get pregnant. I also don't think Hollywood is setting the standard in this case. They're just echoing the feelings and emotions of our society. They're spotlighting what all of us feel.

What should we do about it? I have a few ideas.

1.We should embrace families. If they feel family/children are important then we need to support them in all the ways we can. Be a positive influence. Start local support groups. Make 'family and children' discipleship a priority for your church.

2.We need to mentor young people. Teens turn to each other for sex and love because they are hungry for attention and affection. If we step in and be positive influences in their lives we will make a difference.

3.We need to lift high the commitment of marriage. The best place to raise a baby is in the home of two parents who love each other and are dedicated to building and serving their family together.

4.We need to share the good news of Jesus Christ. It's not about a religion, it's about a relationship. The love that we long for can (in part) be found in the embrace of a child or spouse, but those things can never fill the God-shaped holes in our hearts.

Take a moment and think about how YOU can help in one of the above areas. It will make a difference. A huge one. And if we impact those having babies in positive ways, we're going to impact the next generation.

You see it's not all about sex. It's about a generation hungry for love. What can you do today to point them to the Source Who will satisfy?

Monday, March 22, 2010

What type of script are you writing for your life?


When I say “script” I’m not talking about career goals or college plans. I’m not talking about current class schedules or finding the unique purpose for your future. While all of those are important, there are other parts of our life we need to script, too, such as:

• Dealing with peer pressure from both guys and
friends.
• The search for popularity. How to find it. Or live without. Or be happy in between.
• Relationships with parents. No matter how out of touch with reality they seem to be.
• And living for God without turning your back on the world

When I was a teen I lived from day to day on every wave of emotion I experienced. On some days excitement and passion partnered up, pattering wildly within my heart. Other days, depression and anxiety were my silent friends. I lived each day as it came, with no plan for my future, for my relationships, or for my heart. I lived my life completely unscripted . . . and, well, it didn't go so well for me.

After my boyfriend found out I was pregnant (again) he dumped me for good, and I dropped out of my senior year of high school. (It was too hard going to school—seeing him with someone else, and dealing with my own issues/mistakes/emotions too.) I decided to have my baby, especially since I was dealing with the heartache and regret of a previous abortion. And as my stomach grew, I became more and more depressed. Unlike some mistakes, an unplanned pregnancy is not one you hide very easily. Each day I walked around with the evidence sticking out before me like a basketball under my shirt.

During that painful time, I decided to give God another chance. I’d grown up in church, but during my teen years, decided I wanted to do my own thing. And when “my own thing” left me sad and alone, my grandma’s Bible study group invited me to join them. These sweet old ladies also welcomed me to church and threw me a baby shower (while my teen friends dropped out of the picture). These women showed me what the love of God is all about.

And it was during one of my depressing days, when I was six-months pregnant and feeling abandoned by both my boyfriend and friends, I gave my heart to the Lord. I told Him, “God, I’ve completely screwed up my life this time. If You can do better, please do so.” It wasn’t a fancy prayer, but it worked.



© Tricia Goyer

How about you? What Script are you writing?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Teen pregnancies are on the rise again.

Interview by AOL's Parent Dish--me and the President of Planned Parenthood about teen pregnancy. What didn't come out in the article is that I AM for abstinence education.

After a long period of decline, teen pregnancy rates are on the rise again and experts say that abstinence-only programs, the media and absent parents are to blame.

A Jan. 26 report from the New York-based Guttmacher Institute reveals that the pregnancy rate among 15- to 19-year-olds rose three percent in 2005-2006, the first increase in more than a decade. The nonpartisan think tank looked at its own data and that of the federal government to determine that more teens are getting pregnant now than since before the 1990s.


What's causing the jump? According to Guttmacher, it was the focus on abstinence-only programs that began in the early 2000s, which were prohibited by law from including contraception information. As a result, teens' use of contraceptives declined.

The report "should serve as a wake-up call to anyone who still believes that teenagers aren't sexually active or that abstinence-only programs curb the rate of teen pregnancy," said Cecile Richards, president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, in an email interview with ParentDish. "Over the course of a decade, federal and state governments have spent $1.5 billion on abstinence-only programs. It is a tragedy that we are witnessing an increase in the number of teens who are getting pregnant, especially when we know what works -- medically accurate, age-appropriate sex education that gives young people the tools to make responsible decisions about their health."

The best tool in a parent's arsenal, she adds, is communication. "Studies show that the best way to prevent teen pregnancy is to provide teens with honest, accurate information."

Tricia Goyer is an author and speaker who works with teen moms on a weekly basis, and she knows of what she speaks. She became pregnant with her eldest son, Cory, now 20, when she was a high-school senior. Goyer, author of "Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom," says there are two other key factors in play when it comes to the increase in teen pregnancy: Absent parents and the media.

"Parents today live busy lives," she says. "They aren't taking the time to build close-knit relationships with their kids. Many, many young women are also growing up without fathers. I believe this leaves a hole in the hearts of teens. They are yearning for love that they don't have at home and look for it in each other."

Goyer points out that glamorizing teen pregnancy on TV and in the movies only serves to teach young women -- and men -- that engaging in sexual activity has very few real consequences.

Read the rest here!

After read the rest and watch the short video - come back here and let me know what you think.

Tricia Goyer

Saturday, December 22, 2007

What if you were that friend?

Who was the first one Jamie Lynn Spears turned to when she found out she was pregnant? Not her mom. Not her sister. She turned to a friend.

So as a teen what can YOU do when a pregnant friend comes to you for advice?

Remain calm and loving. Your friend most likely feels alone, frightened and extremely sensitive about her pregnancy. The most important thing you can offer is your continued friendship.

Show God's love and forgiveness. Your friend may have been looking for love by giving herself intimately to a guy. Now she might feel ashamed and unworthy of love at all. Point her to God, who loves her unconditionally.

Celebrate life. Your friend may consider this baby a "mistake"—a barrier between her and "normal" life. She needs you to lovingly remind her that no matter how the baby was conceived, he or she is a gift from God.

Be available to share … and to listen. Your friend has big decisions to make, and although you can't make those decisions for her, you can be available to help her consider her options. Share information you've discovered on fetal development and on the physical and emotional trauma of abortion. Most of all, be willing to listen to your friend's deepest concerns.

Find help. Your friend is most likely in need of more answers than you can give. Visit a local crisis pregnancy center with your friend, or call CareNet for help at 1-800-395-HELP. Encourage her to tell her parents and to seek the counsel of a pastor or youth pastor.

Partner with her to make better decisions in the future. My Life, Unscripted (Thomas Nelson) is a book for teen girls and encourages teens to script their lives instead of being caught up in the drama and emotions of the moment. Read it together. Talk about the importance of making good choices.

Also, be sure to remind your friend of another pregnant teen that most likely had to face a lot of gossip and questions. Mary, Jesus' mother brought the Savior of the world into the world, sacrificing her own reputation in the process. Every child is a treasure and every life is precious!