Friday, March 17, 2006

Gardening is my "God" time.

I mean I try to make Christ the center of all I do. I think of Him-- or at least attemp to-- in everything that I do, but feeling my knees against the cool, moist dirt, the wind kissing my brow, and the sun warming the back of my neck, well, that brings me the closest to God. Something about having the essence of life-- the soil that God created-- between my fingers just fills my soul in a more personal way than any worship service ever could. That's my time to talk to Him-- not a forced prayer when I need something, but really talk to Him. Something about holding a little seedling in my hands makes it easier to hear what He says in return. There is probably few moments in my day that is more precious to me than those moments with my Creator.

I planted all of six pansies today. Had to replant four of them after the three-year-old tried to help. I also watched her mutilate two tulips, but I smile now at how well they light up my desk here. The bulbs will grow new plants for me to tend to next year. I am just thankful that she will still be here to tear them apart then if she so choses. I stood at my front door, sobbing, sure my heart would never heal two years ago as I watched her birth grandmother's car pull from my drive. She was MY baby. I may not have given birth to her, but I was the only mommy she ever knew. There she was, nine months old, strapped in the back seat of someone's car she didn't really know, leaving forever. I was so mad at God. I didn't think I could ever talk to him again. I didn't want to.

Two years later, she's back. Forever this time. We're waiting to celebrate that big Gotcha Day, the day she and her two sisters legally become Huffs. That little girl is one tough little cookie. She's seen things and endured things that no one should ever experience. I could be mad at God all over again for that. But I can't. For all her issues, she loves her Jesus with all her heart and soul. She reminds me every day that God is talking to me all the time, not just when I am gardening.

At this rate, I might have these two flats of pansies planted by the time that the mums start to bloom...


Samantha said...

Hey Barb, I agree with you. Being outdoors makes me feel so close to God. Not really gardening because.. I'm terrible at it. But, I can bike ride for hours on the back roads. I can sit in the corn field and stare at the clouds. This makes me want summer to come so fast!

B said...

Gardening, biking, hiking, whatever! Whatever helps me relax and get soo much closer to God, I'll totally take it any day.