Tuesday, April 04, 2006

For Girls Only: Chatting Up A Shy Guy

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure there are lots of guys out there who love to talk. But if you're trying to spark a conversation with one who's the shy, silent type, try this. If he doesn't talk face-to-face like the guy in the photo, figure out a way to watch him play computer games at a youth group event or someplace like that. Make one or two admiring comments as he defeats zombies or makes virtual baskets ("Wow" or "Hey, you're good"), and toss out one of these questions:
  1. Do you think people should use their savings to buy an XBox360 now instead of waiting till November for a first generation PS3?
  2. Is it easier to watch a feature-length movie on a PSP handheld or an iPod?
  3. When it comes to laptops, would you go for a Dell or an Apple?
  4. Which action-adventure flick is going to make the most money at the box office: XMen3, MI3, or Superman Returns?
  5. Who do you think deserves to earn the most money? MLB, NBA, NFL or NHL players? What about NASCAR drivers or pro golfers?
  6. Cell phone plans: Sprint, Cingular, or Verizon? Why?
  7. Which movie actually might be funny when it comes out: Benchwarmers (Jon Heder, Rob Schneider and David Spade), Nacho Libre (Jack Black) or Talladega Nights (Will Farrell)?
Don't worry about distracting him from the game; I'm pretty sure he's good at multi-tasking. Asking for advice or an opinion is a time-honored get-him-to-talk strategy that's been proven to work with taciturn guys of all ages. It's worth a try, anyway. (My next post is for guys only, so stay tuned ... )

10 comments:

b said...

Really great advice! I just have a probm with it: I've never met a shy guy. 99% of boys I meet are either rude, annoying, loud, or dense-headed (or all of the above). I really like your advice and the day I meet a shy guy, maybe I'll use it :-)

Anonymous said...

This post has been geek-approved.

Mitali Perkins said...

b, I'm sorry to hear that, maybe you're one of those gorgeous magnet types that shy guys are too scared to approach ... the best part about being a dork when you're young (like I was) is that most of the annoying, loud, dense dudes pass right over you and you're left with the quality guys who look beyond the stuff that doesn't last ... often these guys are shy, even geeks, perhaps ...i hope you find a sweet, shy guy someday ... let me know if you do

MAS said...

This is great advice. I'll try it out in a couple of years when I'm 17: :-)I'd rather meet a shy guy who's a solid Christian than a 'popular' guy who's a jerk.

Mitali Perkins said...

Don't you think guys have a different way of expressing their faith than girls? We tend to be so emotional and verbal about everything; their faith may be solid, deep and real but they don't wear it on their sleeve like we do ... especially a shy guy. How do you find out more about a quiet guy's faith?

MAS said...

Hmm...not sure about that. Not many teens I know are vocal about their faith. My idea would be to observe how they live. Actions tell a lot about a person

b said...

Mitali- good question! I think maybe asking questions like, "Do you know a good church around here?" or "What do think think about _____" (a 'hot' topic on Christianity. But observing the guy's life and his actions would be the best way - "Let your lives shine before men that they may she your good works and glorify your father in heaven". If the guy's a solid Christian, people should be able to tell!

P.S. I am a definite magnet for boys - only instead of wanting to talk to me, they only do something ridicolous or rude and normally are reprimanded by someone. Normally that someone is me. I've known two nice boys in my life. But hey, most of them have yet to become mature. Anyway, it's good for my prayer life - and my patience :-)

Mitali Perkins said...

But Hindus, Buddhists, and Muslims can all have good actions, too, as can atheists and agnostics ...

Mitali Perkins said...

b - those are great questions! I also find that mentioning the name of Jesus in conversation (casually but to reveal your own intimate relationships with Him) and watching non-verbals is insightful ... does the person look away, get uncomfortable, shift his weight from foot to foot, or does his face light up and does he look more relaxed?

MAS said...

Good point, Mitali. What I should have said is, if I know a boy is a Christian, then his actions could tell me how deep his faith is.