Wednesday, June 14, 2006

worry wart

If I could instantly change one thing about myself it would be this bad habit I have. I've done it since I was a little girl. I worry. Maybe it's more of a female thing. My husband doesn't do it.

I'm like an alcoholic when it comes to worry or fear. I've discovered I can't allow one drink of worry. One worry connects to another and pretty soon my brain is like a spider web covered in fear. Maybe cuz I'm a writer, my mind works overtime. Who knows.

It's been said we have about seven seconds to refuse a thought. We don't have to play around with every thought that tries to enter. I'm learning to fight back and say, "Get outta here. I don't have to think like that."

The thought can start out something simple like, you're never going to learn to use that new laptop you just bought. Or, What if nobody listens to you when you teach? You don't have anything worth saying.

Usually, if a thought starts out with "What if..." for me, it's not a good one.

I call it my stinkin' thinkin'. Change doesn't come quickly for me. It's not easy. But I'm learning to "bring every thought into captivity into the obedience of Christ." 2 Cor. 10:5. God doesn't force me to change. He lets me live my own stubborn way, if I choose to. But I know what happens when I let the fear/worry monster get ahold of me.

For today, I'm paying close attention to my thoughts. Every single one. I'm gonna think on the good stuff. When tomorrow comes, I'll do the same thing.

Much love♥♥

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