I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like my relationship with God is like a roller coaster. There are times when I feel close to Him and times when I feel distant. The distance isn’t because I am doing something wrong or because I’m not living my life to bring Him glory. I just feel distant. I can’t quite put my finger on the why. Do you know what I mean?
I am in seminary right now getting my masters degree in Biblical Studies. While I love studying the Bible, the academic part of it sometimes ruins the wonder of God for me. For instance, I am knee-deep in a 25-page paper on the argument of the book of Hebrews. Yikes! I sometimes get so bogged down that I miss the beauty of God’s Word.
Something changed yesterday. I was able to wake up earlier than normal. My husband left early to go workout at the gym so the house was empty and quiet. I sat in my bed with my coveted cup of coffee and opened up my Bible and a couple of books. I read Psalm 77 aloud. This Psalm was written by a man who was in anguish. He felt distant from God. He felt like God had abandoned him. He said that his soul cried out, but could not be comforted. He spent the first half of the Psalm describing his anguish, but then the Psalm takes a dramatic turn. He chose to remember what the Lord had done for him in the past. So, that’s what I decided to do. I wrote out a list of things that God had done personally for me over the years. Some things were big and some were small.
Before I knew it, 45 minutes had passed! I normally do not have the luxury of that kind of time, but it was exactly what my soul needed. I needed to sit quietly with no distractions. The day before I was distant, but then the roller coaster climbed back up the hill. I don’t know where you are on the roller coaster, but I pray that you continue to press on even when you feel like God is distant. Continue to seek Him because there will come a point when you find Him. I did, and my day was blessed because of it.