Thursday, August 23, 2007

Divine Disappointments

I've stacked up quite a lot of rejections over the past few years of writing. So far, I've persevered through it, tried to keep a positive attitude and above all, tried to remain obedient and open to what God asks me to do.

Then I got another one just a few days ago - and well, that one revealed just how fragile I really am. It broke me in half. I sobbed and cried. Phrases like "I can't do this anymore." and "I quit." seeped out of my mouth. I begged God for understanding. I considered selling my computer on EBay and becoming a better scrapbooker.

Today, my tears are dry and I am none the wiser as to what God is doing in my life. I don't know why there have been so many "No's". And I am feeling very, very weary.

And yet the scriptures tell me that all these feelings I am having are nothing new at all:

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Gal 6:9)

"Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." (Heb 10:35)

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." and just a few verses later, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must belive that he exists and that he rewards those who ernestly seek him." (Heb 11:1 and 6)

Whether disappointments come because of a career (like in my case) or a friend or someone you care about, they still hurt. But what will we do? Will we give up? Will we throw our hands in the air and say, "It's just too hard?" Or will we hunker down and simply keep plowing through - knowing, beyond any shadow of doubt, that God knows what he is doing and we can trust him?

I'm going to choose to trust him. Even though I can't see one foot in front of myself right now. Even though I don't understand him at the moment. Even though it's hard. Because that's what faith is all about. If you read the Bible you'll see over and over how precious our faith is to God. I'm not completely sure why he considers it so valuable, but he does.

So if you're facing your own sorrows right now, hang in there. I'm right there with you:-)

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