Wednesday, October 17, 2007

OCD/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I've been told I have OCD by a professional counselor. I sorta knew it already. :-)
I get obsessive about certain things and everything. Maybe it's part of being a writer. My husband tells me I think too much. I admit it. I think ALL THE TIME.
I often wonder how people don't think constantly. My husband doesn't. If we're riding down the road, I'll say, "What are you thinking about." He'll say, "Nothing." The thing about it is, I believe him. He says his mind is blank quite often.
I wonder if other people play weird mental games like I do. My personal thought-life doesn't seem weird to me.
As people are talking--especially if I'm in a class or listening to a sermon, I'll type the words I hear by slightly moving my fingers.
I count my steps a lot--always up to the number six, over and over again.
If I'm annoyed at somebody, I replay the whole reason in my mind tons of times, like how could she have said that to me.
Sometimes I analyze things I've said--why did i say that? What are they thinking of me now?
I wonder. What if I start to use my obsessive thinking only for good things?
Can I do it for just today? Can I use my creative thoughtlife for the following:
To pray.
To think of positive outcomes for problems.
To jot down story ideas.
To say thanks to God for simple things like good coffee and for huge things like my family.
Maybe I could even start saying thank you for bad things.
Maybe my OCD might just be a BLESSING.
Phil. 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is ANY EXCELLENCE and if ANYTHING IS WORTHY OF PRAISE, let your mind DWELL on these things." NAS


Jenny B. Jones said...

I'm not OCD (Unfortunately I don't think enough), but I type people's words with my fingers, too. Not as much anymore, but did it for years. And I used to count out how many letters in words read or spoken, constantly and silently on my hands. Somewhere along the way I dropped that odd habit. OCD is really interesting. It's a way God makes you different!

Timothy Fish said...

I know nothing about OCD, but I am sure that I don't have it and if anyone says otherwise I will go to the ends of the earth to prove them wrong.

I do a lot of thinking about nothing. Driving down the road, I might be thinking about what it would be like if the nothing in the Neverending Story came. How can it be that something was taken and there wasn't even a hole or emptyness because that would be something? Nothing. I also imagine what might be out past the farthest star or at the deepest point in the ocean. Nothing. Or I think about when I want to stop for lunch or the sermon on Sunday. Nothing. Just ordinary thoughts.

I imagine that if I were married I would probably have a few times when my mind was completely blank.
What was going through her head when she bought that dress? I might wonder. It makes her look like a blimp. And those shoes.
"What are you thinking, dear?" she might ask.
"Nothing, dear," I would say. "My mind is completely blank."

Anonymous said...

Seriously, it's weird to think all the time?! I know I have a tendency to be *slightly* obsessive with certain things, but I'm SUPPOSED to think all the time--I'm a writer, for pete's sake!


Julie Garmon said...

Maybe there's absolutely nothing wrong with me and I'm just a WRITER. Whew!!

Thanks, y'all.