Hungering

“If there really was a bomb and it went off, where would you go—heaven or hell?”

That’s what a friend asked me in high school as we sat in bleachers on the football field while security teams scoured classrooms and lockers. None of us believed there really was a bomb at that time, but I did take my friend’s question seriously. Even as little as I thought about God or heaven or hell, I had absolutely no doubt I’d go to hell. I think my candid response shocked her. She didn’t know what to say next.

Maybe hers wasn’t the best witnessing technique in the world, but it made me think. Growing up in a family that pretty much ignored faith, except to buy new clothes and attend an Easter service each year, I really hadn’t thought deeply about my life or where it was headed. Until that moment.

I can see now that God had already begun to work in me and draw me to himself. Looking back, it’s unmistakable. I started to notice that I was thinking about God a whole lot more, hungering to know about him, to know answers to all that had been building up inside me for a long time. Somehow I knew I needed him desperately, but I wasn't sure what to do about it.

I told my mom one spring night after a meeting I attended in the high school gym that I had accepted Jesus into my heart. At that time, before she discovered her own faith in Jesus, she rolled her eyes and told me, “It’s just a fad.”

It wasn’t.

Now, many years later, that hunger to know more of God still rumbles inside of me. So do more questions. And I don’t want any of it to stop, ever. That seemingly unquenchable desire, which I fully believe is God given, keeps me running toward him every day.

I am drawn to writings. old or new, that inspire a moment-by-moment relationship with God. Here’s one I rediscovered this week:

There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God.

Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

A deeper knowing. Talking to God. Trusting him. Continual. Moment by moment.

I want that.

I’d love to know your stories or favorite quotes about hungering for God. Please share!

Jan

www.jankern.com
http://www.choose2livefree/