Amazing Transformation

As I reflect on God's transformative work in me, I can easily imagine who I might have been if he had not entered into my life.

Transformation. Renewal. In Christ that is what we have.

A new creation. That is who we are.

Letting go of the old is difficult work, often painful. But it's God work, his creative hand unfolding us, making us new.



"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

Blessed transformation.

Jan

www.jankern.com
www.courageousmoves.com

Trend Talk – 3 Topics to Talk About

I don’t usually have time to watch much TV, but at time I'll have it on in the background just in case some topic of interest grabs my attention.

Yesterday that happened as three afternoon talk shows tackled three different teen or family topics. Oprah had Life Organization Expert (love that title), Peter Walsh, help a family unplug from technology. Great ending to that story! Dr. Phil talked about teens who engage in risky, and even life-threatening, stunts and how their online videos are encouraging the trend. And The Doctors dedicated their entire hour to the topic of teen sex.

I'm not necessarily advocating these shows or their conclusions. Especially the show on teen sex tended toward the popular approach of teen sex is okay as long as it's safe (I don't agree), but it still included current trends and perspectives you'll be hearing about if you haven't already. That was true for all three shows.


Each also offered much for us to dialogue about, especially bringing it into the context of living out the life Jesus calls us to and why that's vital and amazing. As a warning--a good one--knowing what the Bible says will hugely impact your conclusions about these trends!

Take a look at show summaries or videos and get the dialogue going. Look at Peter Walsh's family challenge and consider what great things might happen if your family tried uplugging for a week. Talk through the issues as families or as youth groups. Take a look at your own life and choices and ask God to help you design goals to live stronger, freer lives. Be informed so you know how to respond to questions and pressures of friends.


Show information:


Oprah: "A Family Stripped Down - Peter Walsh Moves In"








Dr. Phil: "Extreme Teen Dangers"








The Doctors: "The Truth About Sex" - show synopsis






And if you're looking for more resources to get the dialogue going, the Live Free books offer true stories of those who have struggled and then found freedom and hope.

Live Free Journey--A Small Group Study

Seduced by Sex, Saved by Love--A Journey Out of False Intimacy

Scars That Wound, Scars That Heal--A Journey Out of Self-Injury

Eyes Online, Eyes On Life--A Journey Out of Internet Addictions

Have a great summer full of great talks!

Jan

http://www.jankern.com/

http://www.choose2livefree.com/

Loving Well

Right now you can listen to MercyMe’s newly released album, The Generous Mr. Lovewell, in full length album stream on Tangle. Though I don’t claim to be a devoted MercyMe fan, I really liked the lyrics for many of the songs and the album’s theme, loving others well.

One song is called Beautiful, and part way through the album you hear:

You are treasured
You are sacred
You are His
You’re beautiful

As I listened, I felt prompted to ask who in my life needs to hear those words. I thought of the relationships I have and who God has brought into my life to love me, but also for me to love.

To love well.

My family, my husband, my children—definitely. But also others. Children and teens God brings across my path. Elderly friends. Lonely friends. Strangers.

Do those around me know they are treasured?

For those who seem convinced they are worthless, do I show them Christ who makes us new, who makes us beautiful?

Do I love well?

I want to be more aware of that this week, which means more aware of each person. I want to look into their eyes with compassion and honesty, and ask that God help me know how I can communicate that they are important to me, and especially to Him.

I want to see where I get in the way--with my busyness, weariness, or self-focus. To see where I can instead ask, Do I love well?

I have a feeling it won't be an easy week as I see where I mess up in this business of loving well, but while trying I can be sure that God will be whispering,

You are treasured
You are Mine
You're beautiful

Unplugging

Last week I spent time away at a cabin with family and a few friends. The only way to get to it was by boat, and once there, we were cut off from Internet access and telephones. Cell phone signals were weak, and while we had a TV, it worked for DVDs only--if you happened to bring any.

I loved it.

We explored the tucked-away inlets of the lake by boat or kayaked across the quiet waters as far as we dared go. We played games, read, slept, ate, and celebrated a couple birthdays.

It was a tech-free time away.

When I returned, I settled into wrapping up preparations for a talk that I gave this morning—on quite the contrasting topic. Technology addiction.

Among the facts, research, and studies covered was one called 24 Hours Unplugged, with findings released just last week. 200 students from the University of Maryland participated. They were to abstain from technology and media for one day and then blog about their experience.

A few facts about the project:

It was led by Susan Moeller, a journalism professor at the University of Maryland and the director of the International Center for Media and the Public Agenda.

When the 24 hours was up, the students blogged 110,000 words—the same number of words as a 400-page novel. (Hmmm . . . this gives me an idea for how to finish my next book.)

What they seemed to write most strongly about was the lack of access to text messaging, instant messaging, phone calls, e-mail, and Facebook. Moeller said that “going without media meant, in their world, going without their friends and family.”

One said, “I felt quite alone and secluded from my life. Although I go to a school with thousands of students, the fact that I was not able to communicate with anyone via technology was almost unbearable.”

Many admitted they were “incredibly addicted” to media. Students wrote of how they felt while abstaining for the 24-hour period, using descriptions similar to those that go with drug and alcohol addictions: withdrawal, frantically craving, very anxious, extremely antsy, miserable, jittery, and crazy feeling

I bet those were freaky symptoms to discover. I wonder what they thought about that, what they decided about their technology lifestyle.

Some participants reported revelations and benefits of abstaining:

“I took better notes and was more focused.”
“It was actually a relief to step away from (my computer) and spend time doing other things.”
“I picked up on more details and things about people I live around that I had never
noticed before.”
“I realized how much media causes me to miss out on physical fitness and healthy eating habits.”
“I probably had more ‘thinking time’ that day than any day spent at college.”
“By not being able to listen to my iPod, I could hear natural sounds like birds chirping or people calling my name.”

Wow! I can relate to that last one when I think again about my recent time away. The call of an osprey flying overhead. The rhythm of raindrops on the roof. Water lapping against the kayaks and the splash of oars sliding in and out. Conversations and laughter of friends and family. Thoughts and prayers slipping through my mind as I watched the moon slide across the sky.

Wonderful sounds. Unforgettable experiences. God calling my name.

Jan

author of Eyes Online, Eyes On Life
http://www.jankern.com/

Recommended: Susie Magazine

Wow, I’m in the middle of taxes, and it’s a hard shift to get creative. I was about to resort to writing about the grapefruit I was eating, but that would have been torture for you.

So thankfully a glance around my office brought to my attention a magazine that you likely would be much more interested in than the fate of my grapefruit.

SUSIE Magazine

The magazine’s editor is Susie Shellenberger. Susie was the editor for Brio Magazine for 19 years. When Focus on the Family discontinued their teen ministry and publications, Susie wanted to keep the momentum going for the huge impact she and others were making on a generation of girls.

The site describes SUSIE Magazine as “a global sisterhood for teen girls” and says their purpose is “to lead girls into intimacy with Christ, guide them in developing healthy relationships, showcase positive entertainment choices, provide healthy role models, and teach positive self-image.”

The issues I’ve seen are engaging and enlightening, and the writers are honest and real about living out their faith in Christ. They talk about tough topics, teen questions, and how to make a strong global impact. They also include interviews and articles about favorite bands, movies, and reads (really encouraging you to think!). And they tackle the more everyday topics like prayer, family relationships, friendships with guys, and fixing a bad haircut. (Hey, I need to read that last one.)

SUSIE online goes way beyond the covers of its print magazine for the subscribers. Blogs and forums give “the sisterhood” an opportunity to interact. There’s even a page for parents, especially encouraging mom’s and daughters to interact together with the magazine's content.

Check it all out at SusieMagazine.com. Could be a great spring thing to do!

Jan

http://www.jankern.com/

http://www.choose2livefree.com/

Self-Injury - Compassion and Understanding

March 1st is Self-Injury Awareness Day, and I have to tell that I'm so hoping and praying that people are still stirred by the issue and wanting to be aware and help. The numbers of reported cases of self-injury have risen since I wrote about it through the true stories told in Scars That Wound, Scars That Heal--A Journey Out of Self-injury.

So let's take a moment to get self-injury back on our radar, continue to raise awareness, dispel the myths, and encourage sensitivity to the issue and to the individuals who struggle.

As a part of that, I'd like to share a post I wrote for my own site a couple years ago for teens helping teens, and yet it might offer some ideas for any who want to reach out to a friend who struggles:

Maybe you’re a friend to someone who self-injures. What do you do to help?

Does your friend know you know? Are you wondering how to approach her (or him)? Tell her you have seen the injuries, have noticed her sadness (or the signs and emotions that you have seen). Then ask if she wants to talk about it. If yes, listen and let her share what she’s able to. It may only be a sentence or two. If she’s not ready to talk, tell her you’re there to listen when she is ready. Sometimes just the awareness that someone else now knows and cares is a huge help.

Are you the only person your friend is turning to? That can become extremely difficult for you, if it isn’t already. Don’t do this alone. Self-injury is much deeper than a behavior or a coping mechanism. The emotion and pain and the stories behind the choice are much more complex than even she is able to handle. It would be a lot for you to try to carry for her.

Be honest and tell your friend that you can’t carry this alone and neither should she. Be a trustworthy friend in how you handle what she has shared with you in confidence, but at the same time know that it is helping both of you to get others involved.

Find a trusted and wise adult friend who you can talk to—preferably someone who knows about self-injury, who is able to help you bring God into the picture of healing, and who has good suggestions for balancing help and friendship with your own personal safety and emotional health.

Help your friend find others she can talk to who can help in the ways you can’t. If her family can be loving and supportive, offer to go with her to talk with a parent. Or help her set up a meeting with a pastor or community professional who has experience and compassion in helping those who struggle with self-injury.

Keep in mind that self-injury as a secret conceals more than the outer wounds and scars. The secrecy prevents the inner pain from being addressed and the person from moving toward healing. Connecting to a community that cares can be an essential part of moving out of the pain and toward hope. As her friend, your greatest contribution toward her healing could be helping her begin to make those connections.

Let's keep our hearts open to the conversations.

Jan
http://www.jankern.com/

A few other posts and articles that might be of interest:

Helping Someone Who is Struggling, Part 1
Helping Someone Who is Struggling, Part 2
Helping Someone Who is Struggling, Part 3
When Someone Who is Struggling Comes to You
Parents Responding to Self-Injury (Guest post on Mommy Life Blog)
Long Sleeves in Hot Weather (Article that appeared in September, 2009 Light & Life Magazine)

Uncertainty

The state of the economy is having a really weird impact on my decisions, goals, and dreams lately. I’m finding it interesting . . . and hard. I’m guessing I’m not alone in this. Have you felt it too?

Stepping back and taking a look at it, I notice that a few years ago it seemed easier to pursue my passions, to believe that the ways I most desired to serve and work would . . . just happen. They often did. I prayed and worked hard, so it wasn’t like it came without sweat and dedicated effort.

Now, I seem to be consistently hitting walls. The hard work is still there and definitely the passion, but the effort falls in pieces to the ground. I sweep the pieces into a little pile and scoop them up, try to take in a different perspective. Then I go at it again from a new angle, only to find myself bent once again to the ground gathering the pieces.

I realize I no longer have the easy crutch of ready resources and opportunity. Was I really trusting God then? I think so. Just differently than I must now. This is good though—good for my soul and for my desire for deeper connection to God. Good for stepping into what is next with him, knowing it will not look the same as it has.

I trust him in the uncertainty . . . more than ever before.



http://www.jankern.com/
http://www.courageousmoves.com/

From Tentative to Courageous

I'm pretty bold . . . so I thought. And then God began to reveal areas where instead I am tentative or hesitant, where I might have some hidden fear.

Even something as simple as saying what is important and true and on my heart--with confidence and conviction . . .



. . . with courage.



Courage is my theme word for this year. I plan to be more aware and watching for how God works that in me in the coming months. I laugh at myself when my first thought is, "That could be scary." Okay . . . courage, Jan.

God told his people in several contexts, "Be strong and courageous," and each time that was accompanied with a promise that he would be with them. (Deut. 31:6; Joshua 1:6-9, 10:25; 2 Ch. 32:7)

So courage as my theme word for the year will also mean bumping up my awareness of all the ways God is with me.

How about you? Do you have a sort of theme going on, a new way to think or be that God is calling you to?

http://www.jankern.com/
http://www.courageousmoves.com/

What Goes With Me into 2010

I just read a New Year’s newsletter, and in it was written, “This will not follow me into the New Year.”

That sentence popped for me, especially in thinking in terms of New Year’s resolutions. Instead of being in the new year and seeing some old kink in my life, a bad habit or sin I have to overcome, my “this” can be left behind. In a very intentional way, it no longer has to be a part of my thinking or life as I move into a new year.

I think of the Live Free series I wrote over the last few years, it’s basic call to live free. How crucial it is to consider what pulls us down and keeps us from living fully free as God intended. Added to that concept, a verse I grabbed a hold of in a new way during this year is John 10:10: "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (NIV).

Life. God calls us to live it abundantly. In Greek that word is not bios—a simple physical, biological existence—but zoe. God invites us to a full-on thrust toward a passionate life.

Live freely. Live fully.

Couched in God’s purposes for my life and trusting his work within me, these two simple statements have become my passion and a part of my mission statement in what I do in life and ministry.

So the other side of my prayer-filled determination to not allow “this” to follow me into the New year, is bringing what I know fosters freedom and fullness with me into the New Year.

I’m picturing standing at a doorway. One side is 2009 and the other is 2010. I can’t stay in 2009. God created me, you, all of us, to be forward moving, not only in time, but in growth. I must go through the door. When I do, I can close it behind me and step into the New Year. No going back. With God's strength and life pulsing through me because I walk in trust in him, I can leave behind the old and step into greater freedom and fullness.

So over the next few days, I’m making lists.

This will not follow me into the New Year.

This will follow me into the New Year.

What will be on your lists? Girl talk time! (Though as usual, guys are welcome to join in the conversation too!)

Jan

http://www.jankern.com/
http://choose2livefree.com/

Christmas Blessings . . . in You!

It’s a busy time of year, and with the present condition of the economy, finances are tight. Can you dare to believe that you are a gift to give to others? And that is enough?

When you attend a Christmas event, what do you bring that is special about you? When you walk into a room, what will you add?

When you write a card or note, what words and expressions of who God created you to be can bring encouragement, laughter, or peaceful assurance to others during this season?

When you offer a gift, does it say to the recipient, “I know you,” and even in its simplicity, does it give a little of yourself?

When Jesus came as a little babe, he gave himself. Yes, he is the very best gift of the Christmas season for all of us, but when we give of ourselves—especially as expressions of who God created us to be—we help others discover and believe that God exists and that he cares.

This year, instead of obligatory gifts and cards, look for ways to slide away from the expectations and get creative. Do something daring and new that has your God-given personality all over it!

Have a blessed Christmas being fully you!


www.jankern.com
www.choose2livefree.com

Child of My Love, Lean Hard

Today I walked into the livingroom of the lodge at the residential ministry for at-risk youth where my husband and I live and work and saw that they had their Christmas tree cut, lit, and decorated. A glance around the room and I spotted other decorations, including the nativity scene and the garland near the hearth with the names of Jesus. I smiled and remembered that the ribboned names had been a project I helped them with last year.

The Christmas season is here!

I realize it's not an easy time of year for all. Even when we do enjoy it most of the time, some days are just tough, or we know families or individuals who are struggling.

I thought I'd share a poem that has been an encouragement to me when events in life have become 'too much':

"Child of My love, lean hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;
I know thy burden, child. I shaped it;
Poised it in Mine Own hand; made no proportion
In its weight to thine unaided strength
For even as I laid it on, I said,
'I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not hers;
So shall I keep My child within the circling arms
Of My Own love.' Here lay it down, nor fear
To impose it on a shoulder which upholds
The government of worlds. Yet closer come;
Thou art not near enough. I would embrace they care;
So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.
Thou lovest Me? I knew it. Doubt not then;
But loving Me, lean hard."

From Streams In the Desert, September 12th devotion

May you know God's closeness in deep, joyous, and comforting ways this season. Especially know that Jesus who came as a babe, Immanuel, God with Us, is the one who said, "Come . . . take my yoke . . . learn from me for I am gentle and lowly at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28-30).

Simplicity, Beauty, and Transformation

Early summer, I traveled to attend a seminary class, which gave me the chance to hang out in one of my favorite areas of California, in the Santa Cruz Mountains near Mount Hermon. I had a little time before I arrived at the home where I would be staying, so I stopped at a deli to grab a bite to eat.

A shop next door looked intriguing. After I ate my dinner, I noticed the open sign still hanging, so I stepped inside and browsed through the unusual items, some brand new, some antique. I found a quirky but beautiful glass bowl and lifted it to the light. It was priced reasonably. I sat it down and moved on to explore the rest of the shop. In the end I bought the bowl. I knew just where I would put it in my home.

This purchase was part of a decision I had made just a few months before. I wanted to simplify and beautify my home in ways I hadn’t yet done since moving into the ministry house where we lived. My time and financial resources are limited for this project, so I decided to make one or two simple changes in a room, then move on to another, make a change, take another room, make a change . . . you get the picture. That way each room would receive some attention and all would gradually transform.

Sometimes the change involved throwing or giving away things we no longer used or needed. Sometimes it meant finding something new (at least for us), like the glass bowl. I’m not going for House Beautiful here. Just warm, welcoming, and an expression of who we are.

The plan felt do-able. As I began, I realized this was fun, encouraging, uplifting. Even as simple as each change was, I felt the subtle transformative impact on the overall look and feel of a room or my home.

I’m far from done. This will take a while. But that’s okay. I’m enjoying the journey.

This all sounds a bit familiar to me. This thing of changing a little bit at time is very much like what God has been doing in my life since I met him in high school. I’m so glad that when I quietly prayed to ask him to forgive me and change my life, he did forgive me entirely, and he changed my heart. Those were huge and noticeable as have been other changes where God has really dug into an area of my life. But many changes have come slowly over the years—a few in this area of my life, a few in that one.

And God’s transformative work goes on to this day. Getting rid of stuff not needed in my life. Simplifying what I’ve made complicated. Beautifying areas that are dingy or dowdy.

And I hear God say to me, “I’m not done. This will take a while.”

I smile and respond, “I’m okay with that, God. I’m enjoying the journey.”

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit”

(2 Cor 3:18 NIV).

Have a beautiful, transformative week!

Jan

http://www.jankern.com/

http://www.choose2livefree.com/

Rainy Day Reading--Suggestions Welcome!

I have two gift certificates for two different bookstores, and I really could use your help.

One of these is for a local store that sells general market books. It’s located in the quaint, historical section of my town. I’ve always loved going downstairs to the children’s section. The store owners have made it cozy, colorful, and inviting. Upstairs they have a little bit of everything. I'm already thinking of a few books I've spotted there during past perusals that I hoped to read someday.

The other certificate I have is for Barnes & Noble. I can spend hours browsing their shelves. Which book should I get? Or is there something new I've never thought of?

Rainy days are here, and aren't those some of the best days to spend with a good book? But I’d love to get your ideas on how to use my gift certificates.

To make it more interesting, I've turned this into a give-away.

Here's how it works:

Leave a comment with your book idea and a creative reason why I should read it on one of my rainy days. Be sure to include your e-mail address so I can contact you if you win. Include it with extra spaces or brackets so those creepy spiders don't phish your address.

One winner will receive a rainy day package of your choice.

My women’s devotional, Take A Closer Look—for Women, accompanied with rainy day surprises.

OR

More teen oriented: Live Free Journey—Small Group Study and God Allows U-Turns for Teens, with some fun rainy day surprises in this one as well.

Oh, just so you know--I love fiction and nonfiction. My interests are all over the place, so don’t hesitate to suggest something that is either the latest must-read or something unusual or uncommon. Feel free to offer more than one book suggestion, but each must have its own creative reason why I should read it on a rainy day.

Can't wait to hear your suggestions!

Jan

http://www.jankern.com/
http://www.choose2livefree.com/

A New Pair of Glasses

I am currently laughing my head off . . . at myself.

I heard a potential cat fight, so I stepped outside to check on my cats. The antagonizer—a neighbor cat—scurried out of a tree and took off, hopefully for its own home. And then I looked around for my cats.

At the bottom of a hill, I saw some movement in the berry bushes (we live in the country). The fur was lighter than my cats'. The animal seemed to hunker down and then stand up, and I wondered if it was a shy kitten or some other creature I couldn’t recognize from where I stood. I made my way down the incline to check it out. Amazingly, the animal didn’t seem skittish. It didn’t run. As I got closer, I realized it was a plastic bag caught in the tangle of weeds, blowing in the breeze.

Okay, a new pair glasses may be needed.

Here’s something that takes a different pair of glasses—the kind that helps our hearts see the needs around us and how we can meet those needs like Jesus might.

Enjoy and be inspired:

Tangle video: The Hand that Steadies the Plate






www.jankern.com
www.choose2livefree.com

Live Free 'Determination'

Sharing some thoughts today from a post from my Choose 2 Live Free site:

I love that it's God's work in us that transforms us--gives us what we need to go deep with him to live powerfully in the face of the big stuff that shakes up our life. Even the smaller stuff that messes with our day.

So do I sit back and just let him carry it all for me? Well, yes . . . and no. He is our burden bearer who has a history of stepping into the messiness of each of our lives and working in ways that leave us in awe. He doesn't need anyone to complete who he is or what he wants to do.

But in relationship with him, I can be willing, even better, determined, to join him in all he's doing.

I like life verses. One of mine is the Philippians 3:10-11 in the Amplified version. Take the first part:

For my determined purpose is that I may know Him, that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly.

God doesn't force me to be in a relationship with him. And once I am in a relationship with him, my connection to him doesn't just happen passively. I need to, or rather I want to, actively pursue knowing who is. More strongly, clearly.

It's my determined purpose.

A determination that spills over into other thoughts and choices and ways I choose to live.

Jan, choosing to live free

http://www.jankern.com/
http://www.choose2livefree.com/

Nine-nine-o-nine!

Happy 9/09/09!

Are you thinking it's just another day? No, not at all. First of all, part of the fun of it is realizing how rare it is to have one number line up for the month, day, and year. You'll never experience another 9/09/09 in your lifetime.

Still feeling like it's just another day? Well then, change that! Do something unusual for you. Try something new. Use the number nine!

Need some ideas?

1. Plan for you and eight friends to go out for ice-cream, coffee, or whatever you love doing together.

2. Choose nine favorite causes and plan to do something for them over the next nine months.

3. Pick nine of your Facebook friends that could use encouragement and write on their wall or send them a private note telling them how important they are to you.

4. Make a list or stack of nine books you'd like to read next. (Hint: If you're stumped, choose from the books written by authors represented on Girls, God and the Good Life.)

5. Get creative and change nine things about your bedroom or any other favorite hang-out room in your home--nine changes that will make you smile!

6. Pick nine songs that you absolutely love and that characterize what you can celebrate about your life. Create a playlist.

7. In your best calligraphy, write out nine scriptures that can be great challenge reminders for you during this school year. Display them in your bedroom or any place where you'll see them often.

8. List nine of your talents and strengths--those special gifts that demonstrate the unique way God has made you. For each, come up with new ways you will use those strengths to help others and serve God.

9. This one is up to you! I'd love to see (at least) nine new ideas coming from YOU, the readers of Girls, God and the Good Life. You are creative! You are wonderful! Let's hear your ideas of how you can use the number nine and celebrate the life God has given you!

Enjoy the day!

Then keep it going. Look for ways to bring encouragement, celebration, and joy into every day!

Jan
www.jankern.com

Friends and Red Toenail Polish

My toenails received extra care. Red was the color to wear.

In the weeks leading up to the high school reunion that happened this weekend, I was able to reconnect through FB with a bunch of my high school friends and acquaintances. We started a side loop to begin to plan a girls’ weekend following the reunion. All were welcome. Stories started to surface. At first we kept it to what we we’ve been up to these past years—the careers, the kids, the memories.

Then it got real.

One was in an abusive and dangerous situation. Several of us worked together to get her to a safe place. Another was struggling with depression. We encouraged. The FB conversations began to include honest but fun humor, encouragement, and practical help. A different kind of connection was made with these ‘friends’ on this loop. We were not necessarily buddies in high school. Something new was beginning.

I could see we were going deep. We would do almost anything for each other. But maybe go about it more wisely than we would have those many years before.

Then like girls in high school again, we began chatting about what we would wear to the reunion. Maybe at one time we would have tried to figure out how to wear the best outfit, stand out above the rest. But not now. “Be comfortable.” “Sure, wear the jeans you love.” (This is a casual affair.) Then there was the humor from one of the girls about the extra events and extra outfits: “First day: wear it plain. Second day: Scarf in your hair, knee socks, bangles, large hoop earrings. Third day: Go back to first day but add a shawl, sandals, flower in your hair, cute flip flops.”

The red toenail polish? It was the chosen signal for this new solidarity and to help us find each other at the multi-year reunion. Something subtle but obvious enough to notice and then exchange the knowing smiles of rekindled or new friendship.

http://www.jankern.com/
http://www.choose2livefree.com/

Thorns

I have two cats that I call my camo-kitties. Their colors help them blend into our country setting. Gives them a survival advantage. Summer means that every day my cats bring in hundreds of little weed stickers clinging to their fur. Many get into the carpet and blend in. If I don’t catch the stickers with the vacuum cleaner, guaranteed my bare feet will find their sharp, painful thorns.

Not fun. But these are small. I can easily remove them.

There are thorns not so easily dealt with. The Greek word used for the thorns Paul wrote about in 2 Corinthians 12 is skolops, meaning “something pointed and sharp that causes severe pain and is a constant irritation.”

Really not fun.

Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” seemed to cause unrelenting pain and distress. Maybe it was a frustrating limitation or an illness, maybe what was viewed as a physical defect. We don’t know, but we get the sense it was something that was a difficult and constant companion.

As a teen I had plenty of difficult and constant companions I wanted to shake. My quietness (no longer a problem!). My parents' divorce and the pain and struggles that went with it. My move to another state leaving good friends far behind. My mixed-up relationship with my father. My height and wishing I were taller. My easy tears. My . . . I could keep adding to the list.

In the Bible we aren’t given many details beyond the words, “thorn in the flesh.” Ever wonder why God left the details out? I’d love to hear your take on that.

I kinda think it might be because he thought of each of us. Our thorns would be different from Paul’s. The mystery of his makes the possibilities limitless of how God might work in each of our lives through our own unique painful and frustrating thorn.

I see his love in that.

www.choosetolivefree.com
www.jankern.com

Okay, I'm posting on a day that is not one of my two regular days of the month. But then this has been one of those irregular summers, and I'm finding myself wondering what might happen next--either surprisingly good or uncommonly difficult.

While I was updating one of my personal blogs, I ran across an old post that still rings true for me in some ways--especially the part about God's shape of things being far better than I imagine. So here it is--an old post that has current relevance for me:

I’m wondering . . . What causes you to want to scream and kick a wall? What about your relationship with God do you love or do you question? What in life throws you or strengthens you?

I’ll start.

I have a passion to do something (what it is isn’t so important for this post), and I really think that I could possibly do it well . . . eventually. (Wow, look how those adverbs show my uncertainty!) With encouragement from a couple friends, I’ve even gone after this passion a few times, but when I do I get a face plant in a brick wall. Okay, not literally—that would hurt.

Things just don’t work out one way or another. But then I think, isn’t this something good that God would want to happen? That’s the kind of thing that throws me. It can really discourage me, in fact. Questions pour through my mind. Even the question, “What’s wrong with me?” I get stuck.

And yet, at least in this area, I’m not questioning God so much as my ability to hear him well. I guess this is one of those mixed things. I’m thrown by it, discouraged and saddened. I also know the experience can strengthen me. I want to be careful not to easily let go of a passion—one that maybe God wants me to have—but I am going to slow down and listen some more to him, see what he has to say.

I’ve been learning that to go after something I’m passionate about hardly ever takes the shape I first imagine . . . and that God’s shape is always far better. I want to trust more. I know that’s a freer place to live.

http://www.choose2livefree.com/
http://www.jankern.com/

You Just Never Know

A couple weeks ago I received an e-mail from a high school bff. She attached a couple pics from a time I visited her house a year or so after she married and moved to Oregon. I was in my early twenties at the time and taking a road trip with a couple of friends as a break after an intense time of launching a new program at a church where I worked.

In my memory, that road trip was a fun time with a couple of friends. That’s it.

But as I looked at those pictures, it hit me. God had his plans, and that trip changed the course of my life.

We had driven through the most picturesque parts of Oregon, through the forests of central Oregon to the lighthouses of the coast. Played on beaches and jetties and made a meal out of fruit, crackers, and Tilamook cheese straight from the Oregon factory. Even pitched in for a one-hour private plane ride over the Eugene-Corvallis area.

Then we drove back to California to return to our homes in the San Francisco Bay Area. On the way we stopped to visit a friend at a residential ministry for at-risk youth, spent a night, and went home.

But that friend got an idea while we were visiting. She wanted me to meet someone. I went out on a date, even though we started by me adamantly clarifying where I stood: “I know everyone is trying to set us up, but just so you know, I'm really not looking for a relationship right now.”

So much for that. We dated some more. Later married, actually having the wedding on the ministry property in a beautiful green meadow. Today we’re still working at that ministry for at-risk youth, and I’m writing for the teen/audience on tough issues.

Where would I have been if . . .

Stop. Not even gonna to go there.

You just never know where one simple choice in your life will take you.

Jan
author of the Live Free series, Standard Publishing

true stories, true hope

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