Camy here, talking about being embarrassed or not caring what people think.
Most of the time, I’m ashamed to admit I really do care too much about what people think. Which is stupid, because who cares what strangers think of me?
As long as my husband and my friends and my youth group think I’m a wonderful person, that’s all that matters, right? Right? (At least, let’s hope they think I’m a wonderful person. LOL)
So, for a long time, I used to be embarrassed to knit in public. I felt like it was just too weird a thing to do, because, hellooooo who the heck is knitting in public? I certainly never see anyone knitting while waiting in line or in a doctor’s office. (Not here in Silicon Valley, anyway.)
But on the other hand, my personality is so anal retentive that I can’t stand having nothing to do! And there are some places where it’s just not feasible to read a book, mostly because I get so caught up in it that I won’t notice if someone calls my name.
So I took the plunge. I took my cute little pink bag with my sock knitting and went to the post office.
Yes, you read that right. The post office. Because of all the places I hate to wait, it’s there.
It’s always sooooo busy, and the line is out the door, and there are little kids running around because their mothers are in line, and other people are trying to cut in front of you, and it’s just noisy and crowded.
So I got my envelopes of books to mail, stuck them in a tote bag on my shoulder, hung my knitting bag off my wrist, and stood in line and knit.
The knitting motion made me not so anxious about the screaming kids or the people jostling me. Since I concentrated on my work, I didn’t see anyone giving me strange looks, and so I didn’t feel (too) anxious about it.
Then I took my knitting to the doctor’s office for my husband’s appointment. And it was great! I got a ton of knitting done while waiting for my husband. I only got one or two strange looks from a man in the corner, but then he just ignored me.
Now I take my knitting everywhere! And I no longer care if people are looking at me, because I’m satisfied that I’m being productive during times when otherwise I’d be doing nothing.
I don’t know how I went from being scared of what strangers would think of my knitting to not caring. Maybe it’s God trying to show me that it’s really not as big a deal as I think it is.
And, granted, there are lots of other things that I’m still embarrassed to do in public, like dancing--(shudder) I still am not comfortable with my body to want to jiggle the fat around to an audience, you know?
How about you? Anything you’re embarrassed to do in public, or used to be embarrassed about?
Camy Tang lives in San Jose, California. She previously worked in biology research, and she is a staff worker for her church youth group. She runs the Story Sensei critique service, and her latest Asian chick lit novel, Only Uni, released in February. Join her newsletter YahooGroup for monthly Christian fiction giveaways!