Showing posts with label Camy Tang. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Camy Tang. Show all posts

Monday, January 14, 2013

A word for the New Year

Camy here! I got this idea from an author friend of mind--every year, she prays and asks God for a word or a short phrase that is her “theme” for the year. It’s something she works on for the year.

One year, my word was “fear.” It sounds weird, but I wanted to understand what it meant to fear and revere the Lord. During my Bible reading that year, I started highlighting every passage that mentioned the word “fear” in relation to God, and it was really eye-opening to understand what it really means to “fear” the Lord.

This year, my word is “prayer.” I want to work on my prayer life and learn how to pray more often and with more intensity. The first thing I did was get an app. :) I got the “Let’s Pray” app on my iPhone because you set up an account and then it’ll sync your prayer requests across all your devices.

I usually pray with my iPad since I use an iPad Bible app for my Bible reading (Olive Tree, because it lets me write notes as long as I want!), but if I happen to ever not have my iPad with me, I can write the prayer request on my iPhone and it’ll sync across both my phone and tablet.

So, techno-goodies aside, I’m hoping to work on my prayer this year.

How about you? Is there a word or short phrase God has impressed upon your heart to work on this year?

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the second book in her new series, A Dangerous Stage. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website for free short stories and to sign up for her email newsletter.

Friday, December 14, 2012

New contest from Camy Tang

I haven’t had a major contest since October! Here’s new one just in time for Christmas. I’m picking 3 winners to each be able to choose 10 books from my Christian book list! And yes, that list includes my books!

Click here to learn how to enter!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

“All I’ve Ever Wanted” by Margaret Becker

Camy here. I was writing to music and this song came up on my song mix. I have always loved it but I haven’t heard it in a while, and the lyrics impacted me strongly when I was listening to it again. This has been my prayer, that I would be so in love with Jesus that I want to give all of myself to Him. This is my prayer for you, too.

“All I’ve Ever Wanted” by Margaret Becker

From where I lay I can see the sun
Rising through the trees
Before I face this morning rush
I get down on my knees
I lift my eyes and thank You for
This life you've granted me
I pray that every day I live
Your heart will be pleased

I pray for hands that hold You
Higher than anything else
And a heart that loves You
More than life itself
This is all I've ever wanted
This is all I want to be
All I've ever wanted
Is to love You faithfully


From where I stand I can see the dreams
That you have fulfilled
Such kindness I did not deserve
But You gave it still
What do I have that You did not give
There's nothing that I can see
So all I have to give to You
Is what You've given me

I pray for hands that hold You
Higher than anything else
And a heart that loves You
More than life itself
This is all I've ever wanted
This is all I want to be
All I've ever wanted
Is to love You faithfully


I know I don't have the power
To love You like I should
But every day with everything I have
I wish I could
I'm standing here now
These words I pray
I wanna love You better whatever it takes

I pray for hands that hold You
Higher than anything else
And a heart that loves You
More than life itself
This is all I've ever wanted
This is all I want to be
All I've ever wanted
Is to love You faithfully


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Book giveaway - A Perfect Square by Vannetta Chapman

Camy here! Today I’m giving away a book!

A Perfect Square (A Shipshewana Amish Mystery)
by
Vannetta Chapman

There's more to the quaint northern Indiana town of Shipshewana than handcrafted quilts, Amish-made furniture, immaculate farms and close-knit families. When a dead girl is found floating in a local pond, murder is also afoot. And Reuben Fisher is in jail as the suspect! Reuben refuses to divulge any information, even to clear himself of a crime Deborah is certain he didn't commit. So, with her English friend, Callie---fellow sleuth and owner of Daisy's Quilt Shop---Deborah sets out to uncover the truth. But the mystery deepens when an elderly man seeks Callie's help in finding his long-lost daughter, missing since the days of the 1965 Palm Sunday Tornadoes. An old man who has lost his past. A young man who may lose his future. Once again Deborah and Callie find themselves trying to piece together a crazy quilt of lives and events---one that can bring unexpected touches of God's grace and resolve the tragedy that has shaken this quiet Amish community.

Camy here: I’m giving away 3 copies!

To enter to win today’s book, leave a comment on this blog post, giving your name and US state. Sorry, no international entrants. Please click here to read giveaway rules and why I had to change them.

Please also leave an email address or website where I can contact you (please use this format--you [at] yourmail.com--or something like that to prevent spammers from trolling for your email address). It is the winner’s responsibility to check to see if you won and to email me if you haven’t yet heard from me.

I always email the winner and give them a week to reply, but if I don’t receive an answer, I will pull another person to win the book. I am not responsible for a lost opportunity if you are on vacation or leave an email address you don’t check frequently.

Only one entry per person. The winner can expect their free book in 4-6 weeks.

I'll pick a name out of a hat on November 14th. (BTW, you can post a comment and NOT enter, too.)

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Who’s reading Young Adult novels?

Camy here! I came across this article in Publisher’s Weekly today about a study that showed 55% of YA Books are bought by adults. I thought that was interesting, although not really surprising.

I know this blog has a wide age range of readers, but the majority of you guys are young, right? So I thought if you guys are up for it, some of you please tell me:

1) how old you are (you can fudge and say twenties or thirties or forties rather than your age)

and

2) if you read young adult novels

I admit that I do, and I’m almost 40. But I’ve also worked with the youth group at church for 16 years now. My editors have often told me my adult characters sound too young, and I’m like, “But that’s how I talk!” so I think my youth group stint has made me think I’m younger than I really am. :)

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Theme song from STALKER IN THE SHADOWS

Camy here! I don’t know if I ever shared this with you guys, but I recently was listening to Rush of Fools and remembered how the song “There is Nothing” really inspired me when I was writing Stalker in the Shadows. This became the theme song of the book because I’d play it over and over as I wrote key scenes, especially at the climax at the hotel.



“There is Nothing” by Rush of Fools from the album Wonder of the World

Songwriters: Kevin Huguley, Jason David Ingram, Wesley Willis
How far is too far for You?
How hard is too hard for You?
How much is too much for You, great God?

There is nothing, no, there's nothing You can't do

There is no wilderness, no desert place, no sickness
There is no sinking ship, no history, no weakness
That you can't save me from
That you can't save me from

How high is too high for You?
How low is too low for You?
How can I say thanks to You, great God?

There is nothing, no, there's nothing You can't do

There is no wilderness, no desert place, no sickness
There is no sinking ship, no history, no weakness
That you can't save me from
That you can't save me from

When I can't find the strength I'm needing to get up
I'm not outside Your reach, You rescue me with love

There is no wilderness, no desert place, no sickness
There is no sinking ship, no history, no weakness

There is no wilderness, no desert place, no sickness
There is no sinking ship, no history, no weakness
That you can't save me from
That you can't save me from

Buy the MP3 on Amazon

Aren't they awesome lyrics? They remind me how God is always there with me, no matter what happens to me or how I'm feeling. I am never alone.

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the third book in her Sonoma series, Stalker in the Shadows. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Love Inspired Suspense week at Harlequin.com!

Camy here! Sorry I'm a little late today, but I wanted to tell you about Love Inspired Suspense week over at Harlequin.com! If you're a reader and you love romantic suspense, head over for the party! We're giving away copies of Formula for Danger!

http://community.harlequin.com/showthread.php/411-June-Love-Inspired-Suspense-Spotlight

There's also a June Love Inspired Suspense reading challenge!

http://community.harlequin.com/showthread.php/412-JUNE-Spotlight-Reading-Challenge-Love-Inspired-Suspense

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Character cameo--Josh Cathcart

Camy here! In Protection for Hire, there’s the character of Josh Cathcart who appears twice--once when Tessa is picking up her new friend Karissa, and again at a very dangerous and romantic ball.

Those of you who read my Sushi series may also remember Josh from a particularly memorable scene in Single Sashimi that involved massive amounts of red peppers and a slice of pizza--which really happened to a youth group member at my church. :)

In case you haven’t read it or need a refresher, here’s Josh’s first appearance in Single Sashimi. I think it completely explains his behavior in Protection for Hire. :)

In this scene, Venus is helping with the church youth group and the scene opens with a youth group game that we really did at my church several years ago.

Josh, a tall high school boy, clutched his stomach with one hand while the other still held the half-eaten slice of pizza. Except it was no ordinary pizza—this one had gobs of dried red pepper flakes piled on top of it. Sweat streamed down his face, and he grimaced as he chewed.

Herman sat next to him, the instigator of this agonizing “game,” wincing as he gathered the courage to take a bite of his own pizza, also loaded with red pepper flakes.

First one to finish won.

The high school kids gathered around, cheering and laughing. They loved challenging Herman because he was up for anything. Including excruciating bites of food that would probably melt his intestines tomorrow.

Leaning against the wall next to Venus, Rachel huffed. “He’s supposed to be my date for the Monster’s Ball, and now he’s going to be too sick to go! I’ll kill him!”

Naomi tittered. “If the pizza doesn’t kill him first.”

“You actually have a Monster’s Ball?” Venus studied Rachel’s face to see if she was just pulling her chain.

“Well, it’s just a ball where the girls dress up and the guys dress grungy.” Naomi sighed, echoed by a couple of the other teens.

“And it’s in a couple weeks?”

“The weekend before Halloween.”

“Do you guys dress as something?”

“We try.” Sarah gave a sigh that came up from her gut and emptied her lungs.

“Oh, ignore her.” Rachel flapped a hand in her direction. “She’s still peeved her mom wouldn’t let her go as a belly dancer last year.”

Venus’s mouth dropped open. “Belly dancer? I don’t blame her.”

“It was only three inches. Three little inches of midriff.”

“Tcha! It was more like seven or eight.”

“Besides, at least you can go.” Mika looked down, not meeting anyone’s eyes. There was a thread of hurt in her voice that silenced the other girls, as well.

“Your parents won’t let you go?” Venus didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t used to dealing with drama like this. Her mother’s drama didn’t count—most of the time, that was like spaghetti thrown at a wall. Her mother would hurl all kinds of things at Venus to see what would stick, what would provoke a reaction.

“My mom won’t let me go to any dances.”

“Her mom hates men,” Naomi piped up. “Ow!”

Sarah had smacked her in the arm. “Dummy. You don’t know if Mika wants somebody else to know that.”

“Oh.”

“No, it’s okay.” Mika had that distant look and tone that Venus recognized, trying to pretend the issue wasn’t that important when in reality, it ate at her heart like battery acid. “She’s been like that since Dad left.”

Silence descended among them, surrounded by the cheering of the other kids as Josh and Herman ate themselves to death. The girls fiddled with their earrings, their bracelets, their rings, with stray threads on their fashionable tops, with strands of their hair. What should she say now? Venus’s panic was like a silent scream in the midst of their non-chatter. She didn’t have a clue on how to be warm and fuzzy.

Jenn. Her cousin was always encouraging and sweet and everything Venus was not. She’d pretend to be Jenn. “It’s okay—” She put her hand on Mika’s shoulder.

She shrugged it off. “No, actually, it’s not okay.”

The girls seemed to be all holding their breaths.

“It totally sucks.” Mika spoke in a throbbing whisper. “Sometimes I just hate her for being so unreasonable. And she’s so bitter and selfish and she just doesn’t listen to me.”

Hmm, that sounded familiar.

“And Pastor Lester always says for us to do our best to honor our parents, because that’s the only commandment with a promise attached.”

There it was again. The commandment had popped into her head the past few weeks at random times. “How do you honor a parent you can’t even respect?”

“Exactly!” Mika’s breast heaved.

Venus didn’t want to encourage a griping session, but she also knew she was supposed to have some kind of answer, wasn’t she? After all, she was a youth leader, and she’d read through her Bible twelve times. Shouldn’t she know how to answer her, rather than asking an angst-filled question?

“It’s so hard.” Mika sighed. “And I’ve been trying so hard. But I keep getting into fights with her.”

Venus couldn’t even say she was trying. This fifteen-year-old girl embarrassed her with her passionate heart. Venus’s faith was simply stagnant—she treated her mother the way she’d always treated her.

“Do you still want to go shopping with us tomorrow?” Naomi asked.

“Naomi!” Rachel hissed.

“It’s okay.” Mika sniffled. “I can at least go shopping. It’s one of the few things she’ll let me do.”

Venus doubted Mika’s mom was that restrictive, but she had realized in the past few weeks that these girls liked to exaggerate. Practically everything.

“Venus, you want to come with?” Naomi asked.

“Me?” She looked around at their fresh, young faces. “I don’t know a thing about ball dresses.” She hadn’t gone to her own prom, much less any other dance in high school.

“But you’re always dressed nice.” Rachel fingered her Banana Republic blouse.

After that first night at youth group, she’d dressed both for potential mess and with a little more style. Problem was, her closet consisted of suits, workout clothes, and loungewear she’d never walk out of her house with. Her designer jeans had cost several hundred dollars, her tops were mostly separates to go with her suits.

But they must have thought she looked nice. Maybe it was the fact the price tag on her back probably topped these girls’ allowances for an entire year. “I guess … if you guys really want me to.”

“Yes!” Naomi clapped her hands. “You can help us pick out something really sophisticated.”

Maybe all those fashion and gossip mags she loved weren’t just mind candy—she could use the style guides to help these girls look their best.

The one person who really knew fashion was her mother.

No. No no no no no. She wasn’t even going to consider that. She hadn’t spoken to Mom—or rather, her mom hadn’t spoken to her—since that day at work weeks ago. Mom wouldn’t even want to see her.

No, that wasn’t true. Usually her mother’s moodiness ensured she didn’t hold grudges for very long. If Venus proffered an olive branch, Mom would probably leap at it.

Honor your father and mother.

She’d stopped telling herself to shut up by now because it hadn’t been working. It had also occurred to her that the voice might be God and not just some secret place in her head.

“Can my mom come, too?” The words flew out of her mouth before she could change her mind.

The girls looked thoughtful.

“She’s really good at fashion. Better than me. She’d love helping you guys.” And she realized that it was true. Her mother would delight in helping each girl look stunning in just the right dress for her.

“Okay.” Naomi’s eyes were as luminous as Mikimotos. “I could use help because I have such big hips.” She sighed and looked down at her teeny weeny torso.

Venus had never been that small, and never could be, with her bone structure. She wisely looked away before she did something dumb. Like smack her.

“I’d like to meet your mom,” Mika said.

Oh, Lord, I hope this isn’t a mistake.

Meanwhile, at the table, Josh shoved his last bite into his mouth and collapsed onto the floor.

Excerpted from the novel Single Sashimi © 2009 Camy Tang

Friday, April 27, 2012

More unpopular thoughts about The Hunger Games

Camy here, and I am in the middle of Mockingjay so if you’ve already read it, PLEASE don’t spoil it for me. But for what it’s worth, here is a thought that came to me today:

In The Hunger Games (book one), Peeta doesn’t actually know that much about Katniss because he never spoke to her much before the games, yet he said he’s in love with her. That’s not really love.

I know, all you bleeding romantics will be complaining. But it’s true. How can you love someone when you don’t know them? That’s not love, that’s attraction. Or infatuation, which starts going into stalker category. (Yes, I know Peeta’s not a stalker.)

Infatuation doesn’t live long in the real world when you realize how different the two of you are, or when you see him pick his nose while farting.

Infatuation can grow into love, but I don’t think someone should say they love you if they hardly KNOW you. If someone says they love you, it should mean they know you, your good side AND your faults, and they love you anyway. That’s the kind of love Jesus modeled for us.

I’ve just got to the point where they discover Peeta is … ahem, sick.

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Isaiah’s Song (Holy Lord)

Little known fact: I used to sing in Testimony A Cappella group when I was at Stanford University. It was a fantastic experience because it was the first time I ever met Christians my age who truly loved Jesus. I was a baby Christian and I learned so much about walking with Jesus from my fellow Testimony members.

This is one of the songs we sang, although we were definitely not as good as the Maranatha Singers. Our soloist was Luke, and while the rest of us were only so-so, Luke was flippin’ awesome.



I love this song because of the amazing sense of worship I feel. Do you have songs that do that for you, too?


Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Protection for Hire ebook only $3.99!

Shameless self promotion!!! Camy here!

Protection for Hire ebook is now only $3.99! For a limited time so grab your copy while you can! This is almost the same price as my mass market paperbacks with Love Inspired Suspense!

Here's the back cover blurb:

Tessa Lancaster's skills first earned her a position as an enforcer in her Uncle Teruo's Japanese Mafia gang. Then they landed her in prison for a crime she didn't commit. Now, three months after her release, Tessa's abilities have gained her a job as bodyguard for wealthy socialite Elizabeth St. Amant and her three-year-old son.

But there's a problem or two ... or three .... There's Elizabeth's abusive husband whose relentless pursuit goes deeper than mere vengeance. There's Uncle Teruo, who doesn't understand why Tessa's new faith as a Christian prevents her from returning to the yakuza. And then there's Elizabeth's lawyer, Charles Britton, who Tessa doesn't know is the one who ensured that she did maximum time behind bars. Now Tessa and Charles must work together in order to protect their client, while new truths emerge and circumstances spiral to a deadly fever pitch.

Factor in both Tessa's and Charles's families and you've got some wild dynamics--and an action-packed, romantic read as Tessa and Charles discover the reality of being made new in Christ.

Camy here: I hope you all will enjoy it! Click the links below or on my website to buy Protection for Hire from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Christianbook.com, Kobobooks.com, or Books a Million!

Here's the excerpt of the first couple chapters!

PROLOGUE



Tessa Lancaster’s rather freakish paranoia was what almost got her in trouble. Her automatic reaction as she exited her uncle’s club was to scan the dark streets. Seven cars, two on this side of the street and five on the other. Hard to tell if anyone sat inside them, but she didn’t catch shadowy movement. A homeless man huddled in a doorway of a shop a few doors down, the same man she remembered seeing when she entered the club.

Her cousin, Ichiro, saw her movements and laughed. “Like somebody’s going to jump you right outside Uncle Teruo’s club? Nobody’s that stupid.”

“They may not know who owns the club. It doesn’t exactly have ‘Japanese mafia’ in neon letters over the door.”

“Everyone knows it belongs to Uncle Teruo.” Itchy’s arrogance was about as extreme as Tessa’s paranoia.

A stiff breeze from the San Francisco Bay cut through her black leather jacket, and she curled her body tight as they headed toward his car, parked a block down the street.

They walked past the homeless man. Even though she remembered seeing him an hour ago, she still cast a furtive glance at him through lowered eyelashes. His clothes were worn and dirty, and his body was coated with mud, but in streaks — as if he’d slathered it on himself. His hair was dirty, but maybe not quite as oily as it would be for someone who hadn’t washed in weeks. And as she drew closer, she realized he also didn’t smell ripe enough.

Her muscles bunched just as the homeless man jumped at them.

She reacted faster than Itchy, so she couldn’t be sure who the man meant to attack first. She stepped directly in his path and captured his arm in an armbar.

However, instead of the counter-move she expected from an assassin, he yelped like a dog. “Ow! I’m sorry, it was just a joke!”

“What do you mean, a joke?” She didn’t immediately release him.

“My dormmates ... a stupid bet ... how much I could get panhandling as a homeless person in one night . . .”

A college prank? Tessa thrust him away with disgust.

“He was only going to ask you for money?” Itchy smirked as they walked away, leaving the man moaning and clutching his tender arm. “Your paranoia is getting psychotic, cuz. You could have killed him.”

Maybe he was right. She’d been working for Uncle Teruo for seven years, since she was sixteen, and seven years was a long time to be always on the alert, to be expecting attacks from her uncle’s enemies and her own.

Uncle Teruo had never given her orders to kill anyone, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She could take down a 250-pound man and knock him out with a rear-naked choke in less than thirty seconds, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to take a killshot or snap a man’s neck.

She rubbed her forehead. She realized that she was tired of all this. And she could see that her lifestyle and the danger in it was going to make her seriously crazy.

She had Itchy’s car keys since she hadn’t drunk anything tonight. She fumbled for the remote in her pocket when movement from a shadowy building made her spine stiffen. Itchy saw it a few seconds after she did and pulled his gun. She did the same with hers.

A scuffed sound came from the alley between a nail salon and Chinese restaurant, both of them dark with their windows glinting in the dim street lights like glowing orange eyes. Itchy raised the gun.

“Tessa,” came a reedy voice.

She recognized it, although she almost didn’t because her cousin Fred usually had a snarling, sneering tone when he said her name. She holstered her gun. “Itchy, it’s Fred.”

Itchy hastily stowed his gun, not wanting to get in trouble by accidentally shooting the son of the Japanese mafia boss.

Tessa approached the alley carefully, because even though she knew it was Fred, she didn’t like the darkness shrouding him or the strange thinness of his voice. “Fred?” She paused, allowing her eyesight to become accustomed to the darkness before moving any closer.

“I’m here.” He sounded tired. “You have to help me.”

She listened, and caught the sound of movement in the distance. Footsteps. Maybe boots. Men’s voices. Then she heard something she had never heard before—Fred sobbing. Alarm shot through her and she walked quickly toward him. “Fred, what’s wrong?” The acrid smell of garbage burned her nostrils as she passed a dumpster.

He seemed to materialize in front of her, his face a pale moon, but she could see dark splotches across his chin and cheeks, like black paint had splashed at him. This close to him, she could detect a sharp metallic scent that filtered its way past the smell of garbage.

“She’s dead,” Fred moaned, his eyes becoming crumpled lines in his face. “I killed her.”

“Who’s dead?” This wouldn’t be the first dead body she’d had to dispose of, although most of the time, it was for her uncle, Fred’s father, not for Fred himself.

“Laura.”

It took a second for her to realize why the name was familiar. Fred’s girlfriend. That’s right, Laura Starling lived in a loft apartment in this area.

“What happened?” Itchy asked.

“We got into a fight. And I got so mad. And the next thing I know, she’s dead and there’s this in my hand.” Fred held up his right hand, holding a bloody steak knife. He glanced behind them. “Where’s your car? We have to get away.”

“It’s fine,” Tessa told him. “You’ll be fine. We’ll get rid of the knife — ”

“The police are after me.”

“What?” Itchy cast frantic glances around them.

“A neighbor called them when we were fighting. I ran.”

“Did they see you?” Itchy asked. Tessa already knew they had. The booted footsteps were

sounding closer, probably coming from the narrow street that ran behind these buildings. They were pursuing Fred.

They only had a few minutes.

They could take Fred in the car and go, but Fred’s fingerprints were all over Laura’s apartment, and the police would come to question him right away. How likely was it that he hadn’t been seen running away by a neighbor? Maybe the police would lie and tell him someone saw him, just to get him to confess. Regardless, Fred would crack like a crystal glass. He just wasn’t strong.

Not like Tessa. The only way to save Fred was to deflect suspicion away from him.

Did she really want to save Fred? No. But she loved her uncle, and she’d do it for him, because he loved his only son.

“Give me the knife.” She spotted a gallon container of bleach against the wall of the restaurant and nabbed it. It had maybe a half cup left, but that was enough.

She slid off her jacket and pulled off her black long-sleeved shirt, shivering in her sports bra. Tessa used the shirt to wipe the knife down, then cleaned it again with bleach. Luckily, the steak knife was one of those fancy modern knives that had been forged from one piece rather than having a tang and handle. She hoped she could compromise the blood so any of Fred’s blood wouldn’t show up on a DNA swab.

She tossed the bloody shirt to Itchy along with his car keys. “Take Fred and go. Put him in the backseat and make him lie down so no one can see him — knock him out if you have to.”

“Hey,” Fred protested weakly.

Tessa slid her jacket back on and gave Itchy her gun. “Tell Uncle Teruo. Make sure he has your car cleaned so there’s no blood, and give him the bloody shirt to burn.” She didn’t trust Itchy to do a thorough enough job of it.

“What are you . . .” Itchy’s eyes were incredulous as he stared at her. “What are you going to do?”

“What I have to.” She tossed the knife in the dumpster. It would have her fingerprints on it and it would take them a few minutes to find it. The footsteps were coming closer. “Go, hurry!”

Itchy dragged Fred with him. Luckily he was smart enough to drive sedately away rather than burning rubber and attracting attention.

Within a few minutes, she heard the footsteps at the other end of the alley. “Stop!” someone called to her.

She broke into a run.

A cruiser pulled up in front of the alley, lights whirling. She hesitated, then tried to run around the car.

Someone rammed into her from behind, slamming her into the asphalt, scraping her cheek and smearing motor oil on her face.

As they cuffed her, the full realization of what she was doing finally hit her.

She was going to prison for a murder she didn’t commit.





CHAPTER ONE



The young woman was as out of place here as a Ferrari in a used car lot. The first thing Tessa Lancaster noticed about the mother watching the kids in the game of Simon Says were her expensive shoes, gold and pearl colored heels with a dark gold rose over the peek-a-boo toe, which sank into the grass of the tiny backyard.

The second thing Tessa noticed about her was the gigantic black eye swelling the entire left side of her face.

She must be new at the San Francisco domestic violence shelter, because when she noticed Tessa looking at her, she smiled instead of turning away with a nervous glance.

With shoes like that, she didn’t quite look like she belonged. Then again, the shelter was for any abused woman needing a place to stay, and who said rich women didn’t get knocked around the same as prostitutes or waitresses?

Tessa raised her voice above the boisterous throng of children. “Simon Says . . . jump on one foot while patting your head and rubbing your tummy and turning in a circle!” Tessa bounced around in front of them, her hair flying out of its ponytail and hitting her in the face, while the kids giggled and screamed and twirled in circles. They loved her. They didn’t care who she’d been or what she’d done. They only cared that she would play with them for her entire volunteer shift at the shelter.

“Snack time!” Evangeline, one of the shelter volunteers and one of Tessa’s only friends, called to the children from the doorway behind Tessa which led back into the main building. Like a gigantic blob, the kids raced into the shelter from the building’s tiny backyard, still screaming, and some still whirling around from the Simon Says game.

One tow-headed boy ran toward the woman with the expensive shoes, clasping her around her knees and laughing up at her. She smiled as she reached down to pick him up, but he squirmed to be let go. He scurried after the other kids.

“He hasn’t laughed in so long,” she said wistfully as Tessa walked up to her. Her accent was like maple syrup. Southern. She could have been Scarlett O’Hara in the flesh—flashing eyes, graceful hands, svelte figure.

Tessa squelched a sigh of envy. “What’s his name?”

“Daniel.”

The sight of the woman’s black, yellow, and purple mark in the distinct shape of a fist made a dark, growling blaze burn in Tessa’s gut. She tried to keep her voice light. “He’s made friends quickly. One of the little girls was already flirting with him.”

“He’s just like his fa . . .” Her smile faded as her voice caught on the word.

The boy’s father? “Is he the one who gave you that shiner?” The words burst out of Tessa’s mouth before she could think to temper them.

Oh, no. She looked away from the woman’s shocked face and breathed in deep through her nose, trying to calm her temper.

The one thing she’d battled the most since giving her life to Jesus three years ago, and it still rose like a gladiator in her soul. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t very sensitive of me.”

A beat of silence. Then Tessa asked, “So, where are you from?”

“I grew up in Louisiana, but I’ve been in San Francisco for five years. Daniel was born here.”

“Oh. What do you, uh, do?”

The woman gave Tessa a small smile. “I can shop like nobody’s business.”

Tessa laughed. It seemed like that’s what she wanted her to do. But someone affluent like this . . . “How’d you find the shelter?” Wings Shelter wasn’t exactly in the Presidio area of San Francisco.

Tears gathered like jewels on her long, dark lashes. “I was at the San Carlos Motel, but we had to leave.”

She didn’t have to say it, but Tessa knew her story, the same story as many other women here. She’d probably left her home and checked into a hotel under a false name, but the man who abused her found them there.

“A man on the street saw us. He led us to the shelter.”

Wow, how likely was that? God really had led this woman here. An otherworldly stirring in Tessa’s heart made her suddenly feel both small and huge at the same time.

“Tessa!” Evangeline called to her from the shelter doorway. “I know your shift is over, but Mina wants to see you.”

Ooh, good news? She couldn’t think of any other reason the shelter’s employment coordinator would want to talk to her. “It was nice chatting with you.”

“I better make sure Daniel doesn’t get into trouble.” The woman smiled at Tessa and then headed into the shelter.

She didn’t even know the woman’s name. But it didn’t matter — the other women here would eventually tell her who Tessa was—or specifically, who her uncle was—and then the woman would delicately avoid Tessa the next time she saw her.

The thought made her feel like a thin glass ornament. She should be used to it — now that she’d been out of prison for three months, women still feared her just as they had seven years ago when she’d been an enforcer for her mob boss uncle and her dangerous reputation on the streets had been slightly exaggerated.

Now they feared her because they weren’t quite sure what she was doing here at Wings.

Tessa took the stairs of the old Victorian house two at a time, each step punctuated by a creak. The second floor landing opened up into a long narrow hallway, and she remembered to skid to a stop and knock on the office door before entering.

Tessa had to wiggle between two of the three desks crammed in the small office — once a bedroom — to plop herself in front of Mina’s desk. “You wanted to see me?”

Mina’s light brown eyes clued her in—not the joyful, we- found-you-a-job look, but a sad, these-employers-are-idiots look.

“Oh.” Tessa sagged a bit in the narrow folding chair. “What happened?”

“Well, I’ve been the one taking calls from employers because you put the shelter down as a reference.”

Tessa wasn’t supposed to know that. She straightened at the information. Why would Mina break the rules by telling her?

“There’s a, um . . . theme to the questions they ask.”

“Theme?”

“They almost all want to know if you’re the Tessa Lancaster. The niece of Teruo Ota. The head of the San Francisco yakuza.”

“Seriously?” Tessa closed her eyes, leaned forward, and bonked her forehead on Mina’s desk a few times. She just couldn’t get away from her past with the yakuza, the Japanese mafia. Would she ever be able to?

She suddenly sat up again. “They’re not journalists, are they?”

“No, although I had a few of those. I always check the caller name and company with the list you give us each week of where you’ve applied for jobs. If the person isn’t on the list, I tell them to go away.”

Whew. The last thing she needed was some rabid dog reporter with grandiose dreams of using Tessa to somehow take down the entire San Francisco Japanese mafia. Or worse, some gossip mag wanting the scoop on why one of the yakuza’s unofficial strong-arms was now volunteering at a battered women’s shelter and applying for a janitor position at Target.

Tessa bit her lip. “You, uh . . . tell them the truth?”

Mina’s eyebrows raised. “Of course I do. Well . . .” Her eyes slipped away from Tessa’s gaze. “I’ll admit after the third one of the day, I’m always tempted to tell them you’re Amish.”

Tessa giggled, then sighed. “I wouldn’t want you to lie. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I have to take the consequences.”

“It’s just unfair, because you really have changed, but they don’t believe it.”

“No, it’s more like they don’t want to get involved.” Tessa had known it for a few weeks now, but hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself. She seemed to have acquired a highly developed ostrich mentality lately. “They don’t know why I’m applying for these minimum wage jobs, if I have an ulterior motive or if I’ve had a falling out with my uncle. They’re not stupid — they’re not going to hire someone who might cause problems for them, and they’re not going to hire me if it’s going to make my uncle mad.”

Mina pitched her voice low and leaned in to ask, “What exactly did you do for your uncle? You didn’t . . . kill anyone, did you?”

“No, never. Aunty Kayoko saw to that.”

“Who?”

“My Aunt Kayoko. Uncle Teruo’s wife.” More of a mother to her than her own mother. An ache blossomed under her breastbone, and she rubbed at it. “She protected me. She dissuaded Uncle from giving me any job that crossed some invisible line she had in her head. She was closer to me than my own mother, in some ways.”

“Was?”

“She died last year.” And Tessa had cried in her cell all day the day of her funeral, wanting to go but not allowed to. If Tessa had been released a year early, she’d have been able to say goodbye.

Mina cleared her throat. “So, you roughed people up?”

“I did whatever my uncle asked me to do.” Tessa looked down at her hands. “It’s probably best I not talk about it.”

“Oh, of course. I was just thinking ...” Mina flipped through a stack of file folders on her desk, then grabbed one and skimmed through the pages. “You can ... basically take care of yourself, right?”

“Uh . . . yeah. I studied Muay Thai from when I was in grade school, and I also studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu, tae kwan do, and a little Capoeira.” And basic no-holds-barred street fighting too, with a reputation among her cousins and her uncle’s kobuns for having a streak of creative ruthlessness.

Mina’s eyes widened at the list, but they also shone with excitement. “So how about a bouncer?”

Tessa wasn’t sure what to think about that. “You really think someone would hire me as a bouncer?”

Mina made a face at Tessa’s job applications folder. “They obviously won’t hire you as a janitor, a burger flipper, a cashier, or a stock boy. Why not a bouncer?”

Why not? “I guess . . . although I don’t know if I’d be comfortable working for a particularly shady nightclub. I’ve known the girls who work there, and sometimes it’s only a step above slavery.”

“It might be a step toward doing bodyguard work.” Mina was on a roll. “You’d be perfect for that. Your own private company, you can pick and choose what clients you’ll take, and you can more than take care of yourself.”

Wow. That would be really cool. “Yeah. Okay, got any leads on bouncer jobs?”

“Uh ... no.”

“Oh, right. Battered woman not at the top of the bouncer qualifications list. I’ll look online.” Tessa rose and held out her hand to Mina. “Thanks for the idea.”

“I’m sorry about those other jobs. I thought for sure that Fat Burger would hire you, but . . .”

Yeah, but was she really surprised? Aside from the fact she was an ex-convict, being an ex-yakuza didn’t place her high on anybody’s hiring priorities.

She walked down the stairs much slower than she’d gone up, and she headed to the quaint living room on the first floor, situated near the back of the house. A fire might be lit in the antique fireplace, and she loved the crackling sound and the smell. As she entered the room, she spotted the Southern woman’s glossy dark head next to a couple other women at the shelter. They all glanced at her with identical Oh-my-gosh-there-she-is-stop- talking-about-her expressions.

Tessa looked away, just in case they could see the sting in her heart reflected in her eyes. She didn’t want to be feared anymore. She wanted to have friends who didn’t know how to shoot an automatic weapon or boost a car. She wanted somewhere she belonged ... but where would that be? She was drifting in between the world of the yakuza and the world of normal, and she wasn’t in either one. She didn’t want to belong to the yakuza world, but she was starting to think she’d never belong to the normal world either.

A stampede of footsteps. Tessa expected to see a rampaging gang of suspiciously quiet kindergartners come to attack their favorite playmate. Instead, the woman’s perky head popped up in front of her.

“Tessa? Hi, I didn’t introduce myself earlier, I’m Elizabeth St. Amant.”

Tessa took the smooth, manicured hand. “Uh, hi.” She glanced at the women Elizabeth had been talking to, and they had alarmed looks in their eyes.

“Oh, don’t mind those cats,” Elizabeth said. “They thought they were warning me off of you, but as soon as they talked about your unsavory past, I just knew you were perfect.”

“Excuse me?”

“Even though they don’t believe you’ve changed, why, as soon as I saw you with those children, I knew that you’d done a 180 like a flapjack on a griddle.”

Flapjacks? Elizabeth had a way of talkingreallyfastanddraaaawlingatthesaaaametiiiiime that made it hard for Tessa to follow her. “What exactly did they tell you?” Tessa asked carefully.

Elizabeth actually started ticking them off on her fingers. “Let’s see. First, you used to do some nasty things for your uncle, who’s some sort of head for the yuck ... yak ...”

“Yakuza. Japanese mafia.”

“Second, you’ve been in prison for murder.”

“Manslaughter,” Tessa automatically corrected. Not that it made that much difference, since she hadn’t done it in the first place.

“Third, the only reason you’re volunteering at this shelter is because Evangeline, who used to be your cellmate, stayed here a few months ago because of an abusive boyfriend, but then she started volunteering here, and she vouched for you when you wanted to volunteer here too.”

The problem was that some of the women here didn’t trust Tessa because she wasn’t really one of them. Tessa had never been abused, had never been a mother. In fact, because of her background, she had never been afraid for her own life.

“Fourth, you’ve been going to the church here at Wings. And after hearing that, and seeing you with my Daniel, I knew you must be trying to turn your life around. You’re exactly the kind of person I need.”

“What do you need?” The woman didn’t seem too loco, so Tessa wouldn’t mind helping her. She guessed.

“My husband is trying to kill me,” Elizabeth announced, “so I want to hire you as my bodyguard.”





CHAPTER TWO



Heaven must smell like homemade ramen noodle soup. Tessa stood in the doorway of the Japanese restaurant and breathed deep, closing her eyes and picking out Jerry’s signature spices in his ramen broth. She was drooling and she didn’t care.

Well, it had been seven loooooooooooong years. Considering she’d eaten Jerry’s ramen once a week up until then, she ought to be excused an excessive Pavlovian reaction. Since she’d gotten out of prison, she’d moved into Mom’s house and began looking for a job, so she hadn’t had time to come here to get her fix.

“Can I help you?”

The young, perky voice interrupted her olfactory cloud of ecstasy and made Tessa open her eyes.

The restaurant hostess, a young woman with long, glossy black hair, stood in front of the wooden hostess podium just inside the restaurant’s glass doors. She had a plastic smile and her eyes were just a little wary of the crazy lady smelling the restaurant. Tessa realized she knew her—Karissa Hoshiwara, one of Jerry’s granddaughters. Of course she wouldn’t remember Tessa, she’d only been a high school freshman when it all happened.

“I’m a friend of Jerry’s. Is it okay if I go in back to see him?” The politeness sounded stiff on Tessa’s tongue, but after so many years, she didn’t really have the right to barge into Jerry’s over-heated kingdom unannounced.

“Oh.” Karissa’s smile lost its edge, as if being her grandfather’s friend explained all sorts of you-ought-to-be-in-therapy behavior. “Sure, go ahead.”

As Tessa turned to head back to the kitchen, Karissa suddenly asked, “Do I know you?”

Tessa turned to meet curious eyes. Innocent. My eyes were never that innocent.

No, she had to remember that she was a new creation in Christ! With copious exclamation points! She had to act like it! “Yeah, actually, your mom is friends with my mom.”

“Oh.” Karissa’s brow wrinkled faintly, marring the perfect skin of a young twenty-something. “What’s your name?”

“Tessa Lancaster.” She couldn’t help the tension in the back of her neck, waiting for the reaction.

Karissa’s dark eyes blinked. Then widened. And then she smiled. “Oh! You’re that Tessa.”

She’d provoked a lot of reactions in her life, but never one like this. “Excuse me?”

“I saw your picture from that old newspaper clipping.”

So did everyone. Still didn’t explain the one-step-below- rock-star glow in the girl’s eyes. Tessa wasn’t sure what to say, so she smiled weakly. She probably looked like a sick pig.

“Evangeline showed me the clipping,” Karissa added.

“Evangeline?” The name made Tessa’s smile widen. “How do you know her?”

“I, uh . . . I met her at Wings.” Karissa’s cheeks were faintly pink.

“You went to Wings?” Karissa didn’t look old enough to be married, let alone at a domestic violence shelter.

“I used to live with my boyfriend,” Karissa confessed. “He started getting rough with me, and we lived nearby the shelter, so I went there one night. Evangeline was volunteering that night. The shelter asked me about my family, and when Evangeline found out my Grandpa Jerry worked for the Otas’ restaurant, she told me about you.”

“She was my cellmate for three years,” Tessa said. “Oh. I liked her. But I haven’t seen her in a few months.”

“You moved out of your boyfriend’s apartment, right?” Tessa hated that she sounded like a mother but she’d seen too many horrible stories at Wings.

Karissa nodded. “I’m living with a girlfriend in an apartment near San Francisco J-town.”

“You drive from San Francisco to San Jose every day to work?”

“Oh, no. I’m only here today to help Grandpa Jerry out. He’s short-staffed today.”

“That’s nice of you, to give up your Saturday to help him out.”

Her eyes flickered away. “I didn’t have anything else planned.”

Tessa recognized that look, and the meaning behind Karissa’s words. Many of the women at Wings had lost touch with their friends during their abusive relationships, but in trying to regain their normal lives, they battled loneliness and the struggle of making new friends. She wondered if Karissa was the same way.

“Lots of the women staying at Wings could use someone to chat with,” Tessa said. “Uh . . . if you came to church at Wings with me and Evangeline one Sunday, you could meet them, maybe ... be a friendly face.” And maybe Karissa wouldn’t be as lonely herself. Evangeline had helped Tessa find the church at Wings soon after being released, but this was the first chance she’d had to invite someone else.

Karissa looked uncertain.

“You don’t have to,” Tessa said. “But in case you wanted to. You could see Evangeline again.”

“I . . . I think I’d like that.” She looked like she even meant it.

“Call me and I’ll pick you up. This is my mom’s home phone number,” she added with a pained sigh. No job, no cell phone. Mom’s cell phone was on one of Tessa’s aunts’ plans and Tessa didn’t want to utilize yakuza cell phone minutes.

A harsh voice gave a short bark of laughter. “Still living with your mom, Tessa?”

Rita, one of the waitresses, approached them with two steaming bowls of ramen. Rita had always been jealous because Tessa’s close relationship with her uncle caused her to receive a kind of respect not typically given to women in the world of the yakuza. In contrast, Rita, the sister of one of the older yakuza members, had only received this waitressing job at Jerry’s restaurant. “It’s been what, four or five months? Still haven’t moved out yet?” Rita managed to say the innocuous line with a sneer in her voice.

Tessa reached out to oh-so-accidentally knock those bowls into Rita’s . . .

No. Tessa drew her hand back, blinking to clear her head. She had to control her temper better. She wasn’t that person anymore.

“Get back to work, Karissa,” Rita hissed, with a significant glance over Tessa’s shoulder. A couple had entered the restaurant while Karissa chatted with Tessa, they now stood waiting patiently just inside the glass doors. Tessa hadn’t even noticed.

Karissa gave her a small smile and turned to greet the new-comers. Rita wove through the tables to deliver her ramen bowls.

As Tessa headed through the main dining area toward the kitchen at the back, passing patrons in teakwood chairs, her heart started tap dancing. She’d met a new friend. Invited her to church. And in a few minutes, Jerry would crush her in a ginger-scented embrace, then sit her down with a bowl of ramen the size of a wok, stuffed with vegetables and his homemade noodles.

“Coming through!” Rita’s voice sounded almost at her shoulder.

Tessa jerked in surprise, and her elbow connected with something hard. Then the sound of a shattering clay bowl sliced through the buzz of restaurant patrons, and she felt a lash of pain against her ankles.

“Yow!” She grabbed her stinging leg and tried not to hop on her other one as she spied steaming liquid streaming through the grout in the floor tiles. Knowing her luck, she’d twist her knee and do a double back flip landing square on her behind. She side-stepped the river of noodles.

“Now look what you’ve done,” Rita hissed.

“I’m sorry.”

“You did that on purpose.”

Tessa’s temper snapped. “What is your problem? I have better things to do than waste calories making your life miserable.” Tessa’s raised voice sounded abnormally loud in the small

restaurant. Rita’s face paled. It was the same fearful look Tessa had seen

when fellow prisoners found out who she was and what she had done for her uncle. Rita’s reaction made Tessa realize her reputation as a bully hadn’t changed, even though she wasn’t working for her uncle anymore.

And that thought made her anger die away. Because she had changed. She wasn’t a bully anymore. And she needed to act like it.

“Let me help you clean up,” she said.

The normal restaurant noises rose again, although some patrons gave her sidelong looks. Tessa found a mop in the broom closet near the restrooms at the back of the dining area and started cleaning up the spilled ramen broth. Rita bent to pick up the clay bowl pieces, head down, but casting occasional glances her way — filled with fear.

It hurt.

“Got a new job so soon, Tessa?” The taunting voice shot adrenaline down Tessa’s spine and she snapped to attention. She whirled around to face her cousin Fred, Uncle Teruo’s son, striding through the restaurant like he owned it.

She had expected Fred to at least be obligated to come see her or talk to her in the three months she’d been out, yet this was the first he’d shown his face to her, and it looked like it was entirely by accident.

Fred had always hated her for being stronger, faster, and smarter than him. Then one night she discovered him panicked because he’d murdered his girlfriend. Because she knew her uncle would want her to, she’d taken the bloody knife and shouldered the blame for Fred’s crime.

Now her cousin owed her, but rather than gratitude, it made his hatred slice even deeper than before. That hatred glared out of his eyes as he stalked toward her.

Fred had always unfairly lashed out at her with his nasty temper, but Tessa had never let him get away with it. She wasn’t about to let him get away with it now.

She’d never been so grateful for her Caucasian father’s tall genes as she straightened and stared down at Fred’s beady eyes. He stopped a few feet from her, probably because he’d have to crick his neck to glare at her and that would just be embarrassing for him.

“Dealing with garbage suits you.” Fred’s lip curled.

“Don’t worry. I’m not after your day job.” Tessa smiled.

Her comment went over his head. “I don’t clean up messes.”

“No, I clean yours up for you.”

His neck reddened. 
To think she’d gone to prison for this moldy tomato.

No, she hadn’t gone to prison for him. She’d gone to prison for his father.

She flashed him a smile. “Fred, do you have a point to make, for once in your life, or are you just here contaminating the air?”

She caught a few gasps from the quiet restaurant that had stopped to witness their tense conversation. She realized that because of what she’d done for him, she could freely insult this

rat dropping whereas others could not.

“You can’t speak to me that way,” he spat at her.

“I just did, you squashed slug.” And Fred knew that if he

touched her, she’d use his head to clean up the spilled ramen instead of the mop in her hand.

He sputtered. Fred didn’t have many brain cells devoted to quick comebacks. “You ex-convict.”

“What’s wrong, Freddy-weddy? If you’re going to insult the ex-convict, you better be prepared to take what you dish out.”

“Tessa, leave him alone.”

A commanding voice filled the restaurant even though he hadn’t raised his voice above its normal growl.

Rita and the other waiter scurried away, and patrons suddenly turned back to their meals, although the volume was barely half what it had been before. Subtly, the air became denser, as if blanketed by an invisible fog.

Not a fog. The presence of the man walking into his restaurant — one of several he owned — was more charged than a mere fog.

“Uncle Teruo.” Tessa stood her ground as he approached her, aware of Fred scuttling out of his father’s way like a cockroach. She dropped her eyes and bowed at the waist in a sign of respect.

He paused, acknowledging her greeting, then suddenly his large square palms were cupping her face, rough against her skin but tender in their touch, raising her gaze to meet his. His eyes, half-shadowed by eyelids puffy with age and responsibility, gleamed with the familiar tenderness that was like water to her parched soul. He shook her face gently, playfully, then drew her to him in a brief embrace. “How are you, Tessa?”

“I’m fine, Uncle,” she spoke into his suit jacket, breathing the familiar scent of his favorite brand of cigar. He had hugged her like this the day she’d been released, and the smell brought back that feeling of being free, of being home. Her fingers curled briefly on his back, then he straightened and stepped away.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked her.

Now those were the words she wanted to hear. “Nope.” There was that drool again, right on cue.

He turned her by the shoulders and pushed her ahead of him toward the kitchen, where Jerry was still blissfully unaware of the almost-fight between the niece and son of the San Francisco yakuza boss.



***



Tessa had thought Uncle Teruo’s arrival was something along the lines of a rescue from a fate worse than death, but now she wasn’t so sure. She felt a bit like she’d jumped from a wok into hibachi coals.

She’d gotten her hug from Jerry — today, more garlic-scented than ginger-scented—and her massive bowl of ramen, which was thankfully very garlic-scented.

Eating in Jerry’s office with Uncle Teruo sitting across the desk from her . . . not such a happy place.

Normally she loved talking with Uncle Teruo. Except not when he asked things like, “How are you feeling?”

Read: Up for anything more strenuous? Like something that involves beating the stuffing out of somebody?

“I’m doing fantastic now that I have this.” She indicated her bowl, peering through the steam at the floating bean sprouts. She wanted to say grace, but somehow saying grace in front of her sociopathic cellmates had been easier than saying grace in front of her Buddhist, gangster uncle.

“You’re still staying with your mom?”

Read: So I know where to find you if I want you to do something for me, especially anything involving breaking fingers.

Tessa nodded at the corner of a gigantic cube of tofu peeking out of her soup. “Until I can get a job and move out.” She closed her eyes and bowed her head. Maybe Uncle would get the hint . . .

That would be a no.

“What kind of job are you looking for?”

Read: I’m delighted you’re willing to return to the workplace, because I have the perfect job for you.

Inspiration struck for how to neatly avoid the question. “Uncle, hang on a second. I need to say grace.” She jerked her head down.

DearLordThankyouforthisfoodAmen.

“Grace? What grace? Who’s grace?” His bushy salt-and-pepper eyebrows lowered over his eyes.

Read: You don’t tell your uncle to “hang on.”

“I needed to pray before I could eat.” Tessa picked up her chopstick and the boat-shaped spoon. She took a magical sip of broth, ignoring the stinging heat, rolling the salty, savory goodness on her tongue before letting it slide down her throat, warming as it went down. She didn’t need crack — she had Jerry’s ramen.

“Are you done eating? I need to discuss things with you.”

Tessa froze with the noodles on her chopstick only inches from her mouth. She sighed and let them plop back into the soup. So much for the hoped-for casual chat, non-related to the work she’d done for him before getting arrested.

Uncle reached over and took her hand. “I want to say again, thank you for what you did.”

It took her a second to realize he was referring to Fred, to inserting herself under suspicion for his son’s crime seven years ago. Despite his humble words, the cool, dry skin of his palm lay heavy over her knuckles. “You’re welcome, Uncle,” she replied.

He released her and leaned back in Jerry’s chair. “I can give you a job.”

From anyone else, it would have been a generous, innocent offering. From Uncle Teruo, it carried the weight of a royal statement and deep undercurrents. “Uncle, I already explained this to you.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “You’re just worried. You’re too smart to get caught again.”

As opposed to Fred, who was stupid enough to have been wandering around with the bloody knife in his hand when Tessa found him that night. Fred would have folded under police questioning and led to trouble for Uncle if he’d actually been arrested.

“And I would not ask any more favors from you,” Uncle continued.

If she’d been eating, she would have snorted ramen noodles. That was a loaded promise. Uncle might not actually voice any requests for Tessa to take the heat for someone’s crime again, but the situation and Japanese sense of duty would compel her to offer to do it or be held in disfavor by the old-fashioned oyabun.

She wasn’t sure how to put this delicately, so she plunged full-steam ahead. “Uncle, I told you in my letters from prison and when I first saw you after I got out. I am a Christian now, and I’m trying to learn to love people, not break their kneecaps.”

His frown looked suspiciously like a pout. “I never asked you to break kneecaps.”

She rolled her eyes. “Unnnncleeeee ...” Her exasperation drew the word out into six syllables. “You know what I mean.”

He lifted a forefinger as a thought came to him. “Your cousin Ichiro became a ‘Christian,’ too, but he still works for me.”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Itchy’s girlfriend grew up Episcopalian and has no idea what he does, so he went to church with her so he could get into her pants.”

He glowered at her. “Are you saying you’re going to church so you can . . .” His mouth worked silently while red stained his cheeks. “. . . with some boy?”

Tessa choked. “What? No.” This was not going the way she’d hoped. “I go to church because I’ve become a different person.” She’d been tempted to say better person, but the way her luck was going, Uncle would think she was insulting him and order a hit on her. Or just send Fred to poison her air space.

An indulgent smile hovered around his stern mouth. “This is new for you. Don’t be so hasty to make a complete life change until you know this is who you want to be.”

Three years as a Christian wasn’t long enough? Then again, she’d had only a few months as a Christian outside the prison walls, so maybe he was justified in thinking it might be a temporary thing.

Except it wasn’t. She knew it wasn’t, with a knowledge deep in her gut, a knowledge deeper than the secret places of her heart. A knowledge that gave her both peace and strength to say, “Uncle, I’m not going to change my mind.”

“Be reasonable. What kind of job can you get?”

She mutinously glared at her cooled bowl of ramen. “I got my college degree in prison.” Psychology. It had fascinated her because she’d spent so much of her life reading the emotions and thoughts of the people she talked to on behalf of her uncle. She wasn’t exactly proud of what she could do—knowing when people were lying, what they were feeling, being able to manipulate their emotions—but she wanted to use that skill for helping people rather than making or collecting money for the yakuza.

Uncle Teruo’s face gentled. “You know that I believe you can do well at anything you set your mind toward, but with only a Bachelor’s in Psychology, there aren’t many jobs available. Plus . . .” He sighed. “I’m sure you’ve realized by now that there aren’t many people who would hire an ex-convict, especially for any type of psychology job.”

She had known that even when studying for her degree. She just hadn’t really wanted to admit it to herself because her studies had been so fascinating and she hadn’t wanted to switch to a different degree program.

“Don’t be stubborn,” he said. “You haven’t had any job offers, have you?”

Telling her to stop being stubborn did what it usually did — made her completely pigheaded. “I have had offers. I just chose not to take them.”

“Oh? What?”

“A woman offered me a job as a bodyguard.”

“Paying how much?”

“Er . . . we didn’t discuss it.”

“Why not?”

“Well . . . her assets are still being held by her husband, whom she ran away from because he was using her as a punching bag.”

“So she couldn’t pay you?” he said slowly. Uncle’s face had that expression that wondered where his niece’s brains had suddenly dribbled to.

“She said she’d pay me as soon as she got her money back. She called some family friend who was going to get her a really good lawyer.”

“I see.” He stared at her for a moment, eyebrows raised, mouth a thin line. “And you turned down this incredibly lucrative business deal because . . . ?”

She stared down at her soup bowl. “She has a three-year-old son. And I wasn’t sure about the kind of trouble I’d attract, considering what I used to do.”

“Your ruthlessness is what makes you an Ota,” he said proudly. “But it does collect some enemies.”

Only her uncle would praise her for her ability to cause physical pain.

Tessa had been sorely tempted to take Elizabeth up on her offer, especially after talking with Mina about her own bodyguard business, but she realized that it wasn’t fair to Elizabeth to saddle her with an even more dangerous person than her fist- flying husband. Tessa would rather try to find a legitimate job first and prove to the world that she was no longer working for her uncle. Once Tessa was off people’s radar, then she could protect her clients without bringing even more danger to them.

The old Tessa wouldn’t have cared who she put in harm’s way, but the new Tessa hopefully thought about other people more than she used to.

“And this is the only job offer you have?” Uncle Teruo asked. He settled back in his chair, the very picture of an uncle indulging his niece’s pipe dreams.

“I’m interviewing at OWA tomorrow,” she said.

“Didn’t you already apply to OWA?”

“Yes.” Twenty-two times. “So?”

“This is for another salesperson position?”

“Uh, no. Janitor.”

His brow darkened. “My niece is not a janitor.”

She was when even McDonald’s wouldn’t hire her. Maybe they thought she’d kill someone by flipping a burger in their eye. “It’s a foot in the door,” she said. “From there, I can get promoted. Outdoors and Wilderness Adventures is my favorite store.” Just the name made her want to smile.

He sighed heavily and opened his mouth to protest, but she said softly, “I really want this job, Uncle.” I really want to go legitimate.

He surprised her by reaching across to grasp her chin between his square fingers. “I miss having you around,” he said.

Tessa stilled. Uncle Teruo and his wife, Aunt Kayoko, had always given her more affection than Tessa’s own selfish mother and irritable sister. With Aunt Kayoko gone, Teruo was her family. She may not want to do illegal things anymore, but she couldn’t deny his hold on her heart. She knew that as long as she had him, she’d never feel alone.

“Uncle.” She swallowed. She hated denying him. “Please understand.”

“I do.” He sighed heavily. “I do. And I owe you a debt I can never repay.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“I owe you lunch.” He gestured to the soggy noodles in front of her. “Eat. I don’t want to be accused of starving my niece.”

He stood with stately grace. On his way to the office door, he paused as if suddenly remembering something. “You said you’re still staying with your mother?”

“Yes.” The tightness of her voice gave her away.

Uncle Teruo found that vastly amusing. He chuckled as he turned the door handle, he chuckled as he exited the office, and he was still chuckling as he turned in the doorway to lean into the office to tell her, “Six more months.”

“What?”

“You’ll come back to me begging for a job so that you can move out, because I know my sister. You won’t be able to live with Ayumi for longer than six more painful months. Have fun!” He shut the door with a soft click.

© 2011 Camy Tang


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Monday, February 27, 2012

Exhausted

Camy here. Recently I came off of several book deadlines plus a book tour. While that sounds like fun (and it was!) it also left me really tired.

But I couldn’t rest because I had some book edits due right after I came back. And then I caught a cold from the airplane.

So while I was honking my nose (and muttering, “Can’t a girl get a break?!”) I was also feverishly (pun intended, haha) working on my book edits.

For the record, I’m not complaining about the deadlines (I tend to like them, believe it or not) or the work or the book tour. I feel very blessed to be able to do what I love to do, which is write books.

But physically, I felt like a wet tissue.

After the deadlines, I had a couple appointments and they literally wiped me out. I’d go to the appointment, then come back home and crawl back into bed.

I’m starting to feel better now, but I realize that I can’t do that again. For one thing, I’m not as young as I used to be and don’t have the constitution that once pulled three all-nighters in a row and then went watched a Star Trek Next Generation marathon on TV.

For another, when I run on empty like that, I don’t work as quickly or as efficiently, and everything takes longer than if I’d been eating, exercising, and sleeping properly.

So my question for those of you who are habitual overachievers, are you tired?

GO GET SOME SLEEP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

I’m serious. We have so much we need to do and then neglect our bodies and our mental stability. Do you really think psychos get eight hours of sleep a night? Of course not! They’re up plotting murder. I’m not saying you’ll go all Misery on your family and friends, but you might, say, snap at your husband for bringing you a glass of water when you wanted tea and then burst into tears. Not that that’s happened to me, you understand ...

So Camy’s lesson for the month: Plan better so I’m not so crazy tired when I have deadlines.

Why are you still here? Go to sleep!

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Click here to find out how you can join my Street Team—it’s free and there’s lots of chances to win prizes!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine’s Day--or not

Camy here! As I’m writing this, it’s about 1 am on Valentine’s Day, and this post will go live at 5 am here in California, so Valentine’s Day hasn’t really started yet. But by the time you read this, it’ll probably be in full swing or have been over by now.

How’s your Valentine’s Day going? Good or bad? Most of my Valentine’s Days when I was in my teens and twenties totally sucked. It wasn’t just not having a boyfriend, it was feeling like nobody cared about me.

I now know that wasn’t true. There were lots of people who cared about me, but I had closed myself off from people because I thought they wouldn’t want to be close to me.

But I also think that time in my life was because Jesus wanted me to be closer to Him. I have the type of personality where I will fill my life with friends who will take the place of God. Instead of depending solely and completely on Him, I will depend on my friends more than I should.

So God will sometimes have to take all my friends away from me for a little while to remind me that I need to depend on Him more, and to re-teach me how to do that. I think that’s what most of my teens and twenties were about.

(Or it could be that at the time, I wasn’t really a nice enough person that a boy would want to date me. Luckily God worked in me to make me a better person.)

Hmm, that’s not a very uplifting Valentine’s Day post. Then again, I’ve never enjoyed V-Day even when I got married, maybe because I remember how hard those days were when I was younger.

I guess if you’re at the same point I was, don’t lose hope. Cling to Jesus because He’s all you’ll need, and it really will get better. Sometimes it means God needs to work on you more, but other times it just means you need to be patient and trust that Jesus knows what He’s doing.

Love and peace,
Camy

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Click here to find out how you can join my Street Team—it’s free and there’s lots of chances to win prizes!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

New Year’s Reading Resolutions by Camy Tang

Camy here! As 2011 draws to a close, how did you do on your reading goals for the year? (Did you have any reading goals? LOL)

I wanted to read more Love Inspired Suspenses but didn’t read as many as I wanted to. I just didn’t have time! I did read a rare historical romance since I happened to get a copy I wouldn’t otherwise have gotten my hands on--my friend Becca Whitham let me borrow Practice to Deceive by Patricia Veryan, which is selling for $40 on Amazon for just a “Good” grade used copy! (I love Becca, by the way!)

I got a chance to read an advance copy of Saving Hope by Margaret Daley, a romantic suspense that’s the first book in the Men of the Texas Rangers series. It was so awesome! I love Margaret’s Love Inspired Suspense novels, but this is her first single title novel and it’s terrific!

I also reread an old book I loved when I was a teenager, Regency Miss by Alix Melbourne. This was actually the very first Regency romance I ever read, and I loved it. As an entree into Regency romances, it was perfect. I read it again to see if it was as good as I remember, and it was. :)

For this coming year, my goal is again to try to read all the Love Inspired Suspense novels each month. I really love them, but I just don’t have time to read them all. I’m also “reading” several books on audiobook, like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which is on my MP3 player for me to listen to when I go running.

{{You can get Mp3 players to listen to audiobooks from Office Depot deals and find other players that are great for audiobooks.}}

What did you read this year? What are you hoping to read next year?

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Click here to find out how you can join my Street Team—it’s free and there’s lots of chances to win prizes!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Rant About Out of Print Books

Camy here! Forgive me, but this is going to be a full-on rant.

My friend let me borrow her copy of Practice to Deceive by Patricia Veryan, a Georgian romance author who died a few years ago. Practice to Deceive was published in hardcover in 1985 (with a rather nice pencil drawn cover) with one other English version, mass market paperback with a truly horrid cover in 1986.

Practice to Deceive is the first book in the Golden Chronicles, one of the Georgian romantic intrigue series that Patricia Veryan was famous for. The series premise is fascinating--in the months after the Jacobite rebellion in England, there was a six part cypher that pointed to the location of Prince Charlie’s treasure and also the names of his financial supporters. The series is about the six parts, each carried by a different man, escaping the agents of the Crown.

The book was incredibly entertaining, but I also knew, even before I started reading it, that the copy I held was extremely rare. The paperback copy sells for a minimum of $45 on Amazon! It’s because the book is out of print, and the publisher no longer prints copies of it. Therefore, the few copies left out there are for sale for exorbitant prices.

I’m returning my friend’s copy to her (carefully stored in a plastic bag to protect it), and I’d like my own copy of this book but I can’t afford it! I think it’s ridiculous how some of these out of print books are being sold for so much!

Most of the time, readers just want to read the story, they’re not out to collect the books. Readers might want a copy (like I do) to reread occasionally, or to let someone else borrow it. Most typical readers don’t need pristine copies to keep on their climate-controlled collectors’ bookshelves.

(Okay, well, I’ll admit I’d prefer a nice copy but only because I’m a germaphobe, not because I need a pristine copy to collect. But I’ll settle for a used copy just to have the book to reread.)

Why do books go out of print? Why can’t publishers go through the contract processes to reprint them? Why do online book sellers have to charge an arm and a leg?

Why is it so hard for a reader to read a good book???????

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Click here to find out how you can join my Street Team—it’s free and there’s lots of chances to win prizes!