Sunday, May 03, 2009

Scared Face



I'm speaking tonight at a Mother's Day banquet. I just wanted to say no matter how many times I speak, I'm always a tad nervous. Well, more than a tad. A lot nervous. People say they don't notice. I wonder if they're just being nice.

Klutzy things happen as I'm speaking. I've tripped on the platform steps and fallen on my rear end. I've knocked over the microphone and someone had to rush up to help me fix it. The traitor signs of nervousness creep out. Sweaty trembling hands. Throat as dry as sand.

But, I always open the same way. I pray out loud at the beginning and ask God to help me. As I say "amen" the cool thing is I feel the jitters start to dissolve. I take a deep breath and my voice steadies--even if I've tripped or done something clumsy. I crack a joke. People laugh. The never-failing connection begins.

I care about the faces, the smiles, the tears that surround me. Whatever it is inside me, gets bigger than my fear.

God has never, not once, stood me up. He always, always shows up. He is my Helper. My Strength. My Salvation. My Shield. My Purpose. My Comforter. My Teacher.

I just wanted to put it in writing as I'm going to speak in a couple of hours. And my Best Friend is going with me.

Love,
Julie

2 comments:

Debbie said...

I loved this line:

>>I just wanted to put it in writing as I'm going to speak in a couple of hours. And my Best Friend is going with me. <<

How did the speaking go? Hope it went well! :)

Debbie

Julie Garmon said...

Ohhhh, Debbie. Yes! Yes! Yes! My Best Friend stayed so close. There was that intial moment when you get started and you connect--you know people laugh with you.

How did yours go? Let me know...