Mom Troubles?

Do you constantly fight and argue with your mom?


Over this past weekend I was on a youth leaders retreat, and a huge part of what we did was to share our life stories with one another. We would not only speak about our salvation testimony, but also about a season in our lives when we struggled with an issue and felt distant from God.

I shared about my teen years and how my mom and I were constantly fighting. As a teen if I didn’t see eye to eye with my mother, it would become a passionate debate. To make matters worse, I was homes chooled, so I had all day to argue and scream at her! During this entire season of my life I had a very strong relationship with God. I attended and later helped lead Bible studies and was very involved in my church. On top of that, my 4 closest friends were also strong Christians and very positive influences in my life; despite all the great things I had going for me, this area that dealt with the way I treated my mom was completely removed from God.

There were so many times when I knew I was right during an argument, or had been misunderstood, and because of that I felt justified in the way I spoke to my mom in my defense. I would tear her down with my words as I brought forth my “correct” point of view.

It took me leaving home at 18 to realize the damage I had done to my relationship with my mom and to myself. As a teen all I could feel was the injustice in the way I was being disciplined or spoken to. I never thought that my words could cut so deep and cause so much pain. Years later I began to see my actions for what they were. The Lord began revealing to me how my words had been used to do much damage to my mom.

I think the through this whole experience the Lord highlighted two main themes, the first being the power of the tongue. In the book of James, we really see what damage having an untamed tongue can yield.

James 3:5-6
Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

The second thing I realized is that even in those times when arguing with mom when I was right, God is more concerned about my response to the situation, in addition to the respectful way I communicate and submit. These are lessons I learned the hard way.

This past weekend also happened to be my mom’s birthday. I am so thankful for the way she disciplined me and never gave up on me. If you too are struggling with your relationship with your mom, know that there is HOPE!