Wednesday, January 13, 2010

No, it's mine!



Stephanie speaking. (Is that too close to “Camy here!”? I just don't want everyone to have to scroll to the end of the post to figure out who's doing all this yammering.)

So, we’re just about two weeks into the New Year, and I’m feeling pretty good about how I’m doing with the goals I set. (Which kinda makes me think I didn’t set high enough ones.) I had a slew of boring career goals that I won’t bore you with, but my spiritual goals were to read my Bible more consistently (five days a week, I decided) and to be more hospitable.

That second one is tricky, because to your face I can be the most accommodating hostess in the world. I’ll make you a nice dinner, offer coffee, and I’ll genuinely enjoy our time together and feel glad that you came over. Afterward, I’ll happily clean up and talk with my husband about what a great time we all had.

The area I need work on is the before. I normally get to use my two-year-old’s nap time for writing, and heaven forbid anything come between me and my writing. As I wipe down the bathroom or dice veggies for dinner, I grumble to myself about not being able to do what I want to do. And once, when I was grumbling to God about “my time being taken away,” I heard Him say gently (but firmly), “It’s not your time; it’s my time.”

Oh.

I’m a very controlling person. In some ways this has benefited me. I have the discipline to work largely by myself, and to work from home. Our house stays pretty organized. Trips to the grocery store are brief because I have a list.

In other ways, namely when I’m trying to control things I don’t need to be controlling, this can really bite me in the butt. So this year I’m working on hospitality, but I’m really working on giving “my time” back to God. I’m asking him more how he would like to me to spend it. And sometimes I’m saying to him, “Are you crazy? Do you understand the limitations I’m working with here? There’s no way I can get all that done!” And He says something like, “Girl, I got it under control.”

Yes, He does.

Hope you all are having a great start to your year!

Stephanie
www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com

4 comments:

Roseanna M. White said...

That's a goal I share, Stephanie! It's all too easy to grumble about not getting our way when we SHOULD be seeking His way all along. Wise words. =)

Need More Words said...

Great reminder about whose life it is. So glad He reminds us. His plan is always better than ours, so why do I continually try to implement my plans?????
Diane

Emii said...

Thanks for this! I really need to learn that, too. If anyone's looking for a great way to WASTE time, buy The Sims 3. It makes me sick, so I only play it once a month or so :P

I gotta remember that -- God's got it under control. :)

Luv,Emii

Stephanie said...

Roseanna, I think having kids really brings it out in us.

Diane, I'm sure this is going to be something I spend the rest of my life handing BACK to God.

Emii: Oooh, Sims is so dangerous! I love that game way too much to own it. I used to let myself play it when I was sick, and the time would just fly by.