Sometimes things fall

My daughter, who is 4, has always really liked blocks and Legos. (Her brother enjoys knocking them over. Which creates some real "Oy" moments in our household.)

Sometimes I'm amazed by her good attitude when she's building, bumps a block, and half her creation falls. There are times where she just sighs, then starts to rebuild.

And then there are other times when she'll exclaim something like, "Oh, I'll never get it right!" and throws herself on the floor and starts to cry.

Earlier this week, she had a particularly frustrating time trying to use all the blocks to build a castle. I was in the kitchen working on dinner when I heard them fall yet again. I closed my eyes, knowing what was coming. Sure enough, McKenna called out, "Oh, no!" and then came running into the kitchen in tears. "Mommy, it fell down again!"

"McKenna, that's just part of building something," I say. "Sometimes it's gonna fall down."

After she returned to her blocks and I returned to dinner prep, I felt that nudge in my heart. Felt God saying That's right. It's part of building something. Sometimes it'll fall.


I have lots of things I'm building, and I'm guessing you do too. I'm building a good marriage. I'm building two kids, helping them to become Godly adults. I'm building a relationship with God. I'm building a career, a blog, friendships. On and on.

Sometimes I have good building days. I see progress. McKenna says thank you without being prompted, or I hear from someone who has read and enjoyed the Skylar Hoyt books.

Other days, things seem to "fall." I'm snippy with my husband. I skip my Bible reading. I think about reaching out to a friend but don't.

How fortunate I am to have God's grace and the grace of those around me. To know that even if blocks are falling this way and that, I can always learn from my mistakes, and endeavor to rebuild it better.

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

4 Things Worth Bringing into 2012

I'm a girl who likes her lists, and who likes fresh starts.

I've been doing some thinking about 2011. About things that went well and things that did not go well. I've been thinking about what will come with me, and what I would rather leave behind.

Here are 4 things I will bring into 2012 with me:

1. Forever Reign by Hillsong. My heart beats a little faster every time the worship band at our church launches into it.

2. A lyric from the above mentioned song:

You are God. Of all else I'm letting go.

I am letting go of my grip on my career. Of my need for control. Of my insecurity. Of my fears for my children. Of my need to be perfect.

This will be a daily commitment, because I know every morning I'm going to wake up holding on tight to those things, and that every morning I will have to pry open my hands, release them, and grab hold of Him instead.

3. An action plan for growing closer to God. I love the way that Richard Foster puts it in his book on disciplines where he says that the disciplines themselves (studying, fasting, praying) aren't what make you closer to God, but they put you in the position for Him to draw closer to you.

I've already talked about my plan to read the chronological Bible thought I bought 10 years ago (at least). I'm also going to read Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, which I was apparently the last person in the world to know about.

Well, not really, because my husband hadn't heard of it, and neither had my best friend, Roseanna. But everyone at my Christmas party last week had, and the women who were reading it were tearing up when they talked about it. Plus, with 552 reviews on Amazon, it still has 5-stars. Unbelievable.

4. A new friend, who will become a sister.

This is Molly.

And she's going to marry my brother-in-law (pictured beside her, as you might guess) sometime this next year. I'm an only child, and my husband has just the one brother, so this is a very big deal to me. So big of a deal that I once told Chris I thought I should get veto power over my future sister-in-law. (He agreed, which is a little shocking.)

But I won't need to exercise my authority. She's awesome.

What are you bringing into 2012 with you?

Rachel Coker - published at 16!

Stephanie here! When I first heard about Rachel Coker - who is 16 and has her debut novel releasing this February from Zondervan - I practically ran to my computer to email her. And I'm so glad I did, because Rachel is not only a gifted writer, she's a sweet, Godly chica. It's been such a blessing to interview her.

Rachel, at what age did you start writing Interrupted? Was it your first novel?

I first got the idea for Interrupted when I was fourteen years old. Most of the book was written in the spring of 2010, when I was fourteen. I was fifteen when I was signed with Zondervan, and did a few revisions after that, but I’d say that over 90% of the book was written before my fifteenth birthday.

Funnily enough, Interrupted is not the first novel I ever wrote! When I was twelve, I wrote a novella (short novel) about an Irish orphan at the turn of the century. It was back when I was first trying to develop my writing style, and really reflects my personality at the time. I was a very dramatic, sensitive child. ;)

Oh, boy. Me too.


How did you know your book was "finished" and ready for the eyes of an agent?

I don't really know if any book is ever really 'finished'. A lot of authors say they knew their book was agent-ready when they looked over it and felt it was finally perfect, or at least close to it. I don't think that's the case at all. I'm always finding things to fix about Interrupted, even in the post-editing phase. I think it was more a matter of: I spent a lot of time writing this book, and I finally think it's good. It's not perfect, but it has a lot of potential and it's something I would be interested in reading. That's when I knew that I was ready to pursue publication.

What were the first steps you took toward getting published?

Well, the first thing I did was pray a lot. I don’t really know what I was praying for—just that God would make things happen if it was His will, I guess. Finally I decided to just go for it. I figured getting published was such a long shot that if it wasn’t His plan for me, there was no way it would ever happen.

Did you look for an agent? How did Interrupted get in the hands of editors?

Yes, I did my best to find an agent, because I knew there was very little chance getting signed with a good publishing company if I didn’t. I actually checked out a big book of Christian agents from the library, and then Googled a list online. I sent cover letters to about fifteen people, and only one or two were even interested.

Bill (my agent) and I just clicked from the beginning, though. Everything he said was just so in agreement with what I believed. We both prayed about it, and felt God leading us to work together. So I was over the moon when I signed him to be my agent. He’s the one who got out there and sold my book to the editors at Zondervan.

Are you in any kind of critique group? Who are the big supporters of your writing in your life?

Actually, no, I’m not in any kind of critique group, but if you know of a good one let me know! I’m very personal about my writing, and I think the only people who have even read Interrupted outside of my editors are my mom and sister. They read everything I write and tell me what they think about it. Our family is full of big readers, so I respect everything they say. I love that they are blunt with me, too. My mom is not shy about telling me when something seems to be too big of a stretch, and my sister can find character flaws in anybody. And of course, my agent and editor are fantastic supporters. Reading their comments always make me smile.

What made the big difference in you going from being an aspiring writer to being a contracted author?

I think timing is really important. Two years ago, I never could have dealt with all the pressure and business of being a signed author like I can now. I also don’t think I was mature enough to write at the same level. I never want to feel like I have to do everything too early in life, even if I’m tempted to sometimes. No, I want time to live and grow as a result of my choices and mistakes. You need time to let your feelings and thoughts mature, before you can make a lot of the big decisions that being a contracted author takes. I feel like sixteen is a good age for me, personally.

Very interesting. What surprised you most about being published?

The amount of support I’ve been getting, definitely. Before Interrupted, I never talked much about my writing or my desire to be a writer. I figured I was too young and everyone would be secretly laughing at me. But ever since I’ve started talking about my journey, I’ve been blown away by the number of teens and other aspiring authors who have told me they were encouraged by my story. I never thought being a writer could mean connecting with so many different people. And my book isn’t even out yet!

I'm eager for it to hit shelves!


What advantages are there to being published at 16? What disadvantages are there?

The biggest advantage is that it creates quite a buzz. Everyone wants to talk about you, and interview you. It makes for a really cool story, and gave me an excuse to take a year off of writing in high school. ;)

The downside is that, at sixteen, you still suffer from a lot of peer pressure. I’m always worrying that my book is being hyped too much, and wonder what my friends will think. Will they all think it’s lame? And I also worry that people will judge my writing based on my age, and not on whether or not I am a good writer. The last thing I want is someone to say, “Oh, it was a good effort from a sixteen-year-old.” I’d rather them just like it, or hate it. You know what I mean?

I do. And I'm so appreciative of you taking the time to share some of your journey with us.


I had such a great time emailing back and forth with Rachel. I've found her to be sweet, professional, full of faith. Oh, and very brave. She didn't seem too freaked out by my exuberance.

About Interrupted: Can love really heal all things? If Sam Carroll hadn't shown up, she might have been able to get to her mother in time. Instead, Allie Everly finds herself at a funeral, mourning the loss of her beloved mother. She is dealt another blow when, a few hours later, she is sent from Tennessee to Maine to become the daughter of Miss Beatrice Lovell, a prim woman with a faith Allie cannot accept. Poetry and letters written to her mother become the only things keeping Allie's heart from hardening completely. But then Sam arrives for the summer, and with him comes many confusing emotions, both toward him and the people around her. As World War II looms, Allie will be forced to decide whether hanging on to the past is worth losing her chance to be loved.

Rachel Coker resides in Virginia with her parents and two sisters. She has a passion for great books, and has been surrounded by them all her life. Her gift for writing became apparent at the age of eleven, at which time her parents signed her up for a year of lessons with a professional writing coach. Rachel also has a deep love for classical music and old black-and-white movies. When she is not writing or playing the piano, Rachel enjoys spending time with her family and friends and serving her Lord and Savior.

Look for her book in stores February 1st. Support teen writers!

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

A Starting Point

If you were to say to me, "Is it better to do something perfectly or not at all OR to do your best even though it won't be perfect?" I would try to not laugh at you as I said, "Obviously, the second. Just do your best."

But I have been guilty of just the opposite for some time now.

  Years ago - like 9 or 10 years ago - I went to the store to buy a chronological Bible. I thought it would be an interesting new way to read. But the only ones they had were "One-year" chronological Bibles, where everything was also broken up by date. I had never intended to be on the one-year plan, and my wise mother pointed out that I didn't have to read it in one year, that I could just ignore the dates.

But something about opening the Bible in June, yet seeing, "January 1" threw that uber-organized piece of me. It would be best, I thought, to use the Bible exactly the way it was intended. (As if this is in the commandments or something - sheesh.)

And then things happened. Like I was planning a wedding. "Well, I'm getting married this year. I won't be able to read every day, so I really shouldn't even start."

Or we would be travelling over New Years, so I would start off the year feeling "behind." Next year, I would think to myself.

One year when January 1st rolled around, I had just read Genesis through 2 Chronicles in the previous months and wasn't enthusiastic about "starting over."

Then these guys appeared on the scene...

...and my morning routine of Bible reading flew out the window.

This last year - I'm pretty embarrassed to admit to you - I have read sadly little of my Bible. Some weeks it went untouched between Sunday church services.

At church this week, I was reminded that one of my only jobs as a Christ-follower is to "abide."

In John 15:5, Jesus says to his disciples: I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

My job is not to make fruit happen. My job is to abide. My job is to stay connected to the vine. And one of the key ways to do that is to open my Bible regularly. It's certainly not the only way, nor is it all we should be doing, but it's a good starting point.

And after a number of years of being a Christ-follower, I am sadly, woefully in need of a starting point.

So yesterday - Sunday, November 27th - I pulled the chronological Bible off my shelf and read the scriptures allotted for January 1st. Because in 2012, I will still be imperfect. I still won't read my Bible every day. But maybe with building in this extra month, I will have read the entire Bible in chronological order by December 31st.

Or maybe that won't happen, but if I have done my best to abide, I will still bear fruit.

What's one thing you can do to "abide" better?

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

Run Your Race plus a Giveaway

Last Sunday afternoon, the weather was so glorious that my husband and I walked the kids up to the park.  As we walked across the soccer field, I said to my almost-4-year-old daughter, "Race you!" McKenna loves to run, and broke into a sprint.

Me and McKenna

I did the parent thing, where I moderated my speed based on hers. Sometimes I edged in front of her just a bit, which made her squeal, "No!" and other times I lagged behind. So long as McKenna was looking ahead and paying attention to where she put her feet, she ran great. Fast and smooth


But whenever she glanced at her competition - me alongside her, or my husband on the sidewalk with our youngest - she would stumble. Or drift in the wrong direction. Or, one time, she fell flat on her face.


After her big fall, when she was whimpering a bit and clearly trying to figure out, "Am I hurt enough to  throw a fit, or should I just keep running?" I brushed her off and, after verifying that nothing was broken or bleeding, said, "McKenna, that happened because you weren't paying attention to what you were doing. Don't look backward or at me and Daddy, okay? Just pay attention to running."


Saying so triggered the words from Hebrews 12:


"...Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."


How often, I thought during the remainder of our walk home, do I let my eyes wander from my race?


Particularly what came to mind was writing. Writing is the part of my race that causes me to struggle the most. Not the doing it part - I continue to love writing. What I struggle with is keeping my eyes on the One who called me to write, on taking the next steps I feel He wants me to take.


Sometimes I do well.


Other times I start glancing at those around me, gauging myself and my security by their location. Are their book ideas more creative? Are they getting nominated for awards? What are their sales numbers like? How many people read their blog? How many pieces of reader mail do they get a day?


You get the idea. I get distracted. I stumble. I drift the wrong direction. Sometimes I flat-out fall.


I need to print out the above scripture and keep it in my office as a reminder that God does not expect me to be anybody else. The only race I'm expected to run is mine, the one He marked out for me. And the best way to do that is to keep my eyes on Jesus.


These are the first two books in The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series, two books that were part of my race, that God put in my heart. I would like for you to have them.

To get entered to win a free copy of both Me, Just Different and Out with the In Crowd, leave a comment with how you think you're doing in your race. Are you on track, even if it means crawling? Are you spending more time checking out the competition than you are running? Or maybe you're still figuring out God's plans for you, what he wants your day-to-day life to look like. There's no wrong answer. (Contest closes Sunday, November 20th. One entry per person. US residents only.)


Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

28 Things I Learned This Year

My sweet, lovely grandmother has a cheery saying she's fond of: If you're not changing it means you're dead.

As a girl who tends to stress and worry and panic, change can be a very scary thing. But on my birthday - which is today - I like to take stock of things I learned/discovered/gleaned/perfected over the last year. And here they are, in no particular order:

1. I now make excellent scones. Crumbly, delicious, and not nearly as difficult as I thought they'd be.

2. All my life I've heard people quote, "God helps those who help themselves," like it's out of the Bible. A few years ago, I learned that wasn't scriptural. And in the last year, historical writer Roseanna White taught me that quote belongs to Benjamin Franklin.

3. I can crack an egg with just one hand, which was born out of necessity since I often have Connor on my hip when I'm baking.

4. Speaking of Connor, I learned that toddler boy drama is just as wild an unpredictable as 3-year-old girl drama. Don't let anybody fool you by saying boys aren't dramatic and moody...

5. That I love Brussels sprouts. Not like a, "Yeah, I can eat those," kind of thing, but I actually crave Brussels sprouts. Particularly when they're roasted or sauteed with bacon fat.

6. The mad talent of Florence & The Machine. Wonderful, wonderful band.

7. Ebooks. I bought my Kindle earlier this year, and I was shocked by how much I like using it. There are things I miss, like flipping through pages when I'm in search of something, but I still really enjoy the reading experience. And I love how I can go from thinking, "I want to read that book," to actually reading this book within about 2 minutes.

8. The Hunger Games series, which were the first books I downloaded on my Kindle. What a fabulously creative series. Very deserving of its success.

9. Easy, tasty rolls. Oh, baby, these rosemary rolls are yummy and quick. They use frozen bread dough, but because of the rosemary, butter, and salt, you'd never know it. When you're invited somewhere, volunteer to bring the rolls.

10. I learned I love blogging. I have the best time hanging out on Go Teen Writers with the wonderfully talented young writers.

11. I became completely obsessed with Tastebud Magazine, which is a free publication in the Kansas City area. It's foodie heaven, and I look forward to it every month. If you like eating, you should see if your community has something similar.

12. Being the parent of the flower girl in a wedding is super scary. I had no idea. What if she falls? What if she won't walk down the aisle? What if she gets sick before the wedding? What if she picks her nose? (None of which happened, fortunately.)

13. We're watching the Ken Burns documentary on baseball, so I have absorbed a crazy amount of baseball knowledge in the last month. Like that whole thing about Babe Ruth calling his shot is a huge controversy. And that the Kansas City Monarchs dominated the negro leagues. And that there's no official creator of baseball, that it evolved from a couple different games.

14. Save the Date by Jenny B. Jones was one of my favorite books of the year. I've read most her books and enjoyed them all, but I loved the balance of humor and depth of this one.

15. Pacifier is not a universal phrase. One day on Go Teen Writers, I was using my son's love for his pacifier for a writing illustration, and I was shocked to see how few of my international readers knew what a pacifier was. It sparked a whole list of things the pacifier is called. My favorites are a "dummy" which is in Australia or a "suck" which is in Denmark.

16. In California's wine country, you can do olive oil tastings. I did one with Round Pound, and it was great. They line up plastic cups for you, so it's like little shots of olive oil. They also had vinegars, which they pour over a sugar cube, and then you pick up the cube and suck out the vinegar.

17. That my husband strongly dislikes the New Kids on the Block t-shirt I've had since 2nd grade. Which is really sad because it's so worn and soft and comfy.

18. How to make excellent mashed potatoes in advance. Pioneer Woman's are great freshly made or reheated in the oven.

19. That being out of high school for 10 years doesn't feel as long as you might imagine. When I graduated back in 2001, 10 years sounded like plenty of time to turn into the fabulous adult I was hoping to be. And even though I have all the things I thought I'd have by now - husband, babies, books - I still have lots of days where I feel like I'm just pretending to be an adult. Maybe by the time my 20 year reunion rolls around, the whole adult thing will feel more normal.

20. Whop Whops. I love this phrase. A girl from New Zealand used it in a Go Teen Writer contest. It means the same thing as "the boonies" (Like, "they live out in the whop whops.") I totally want to start using it more.

21. Julie Klassen is much more fun to talk to than she is to stalk. Julie and I were at the same writer's conference in September. I adore her books, but I was too afraid to talk to her, so for the first day or two, I kept my distance. Then I finally went and said hi to her and found out she's extremely cool and easy to talk to. Wonderful lady, wonderful books. 

22. When you make coffee in a French press, you're supposed to mix it up with that plunger thingy before you let it brew. I've been making it wrong for years.

23. I learned lots and lots and lots about food television for a manuscript of mine. Like that people laughed at the concept of the Food Network, which started back in 1993. We cancelled our cable this year, and I miss FN more than anything else.

24. The Help is an incredible book and deserves all the hype.

25. I like camping. I tried it because I love my outdoorsy husband, and I was pretty surprised by how much I enjoyed it. The best night of sleep I got all year was in that tent. We were by a river, so we had great white noise, and we went to bed when it got dark, then woke up when the sun came up. We'll definitely go again.

26. I have a tendency to avoid conflict. I'm learning that's not about wanting to keep the peace, but rather it's a self-esteem issue for me. Will people still like me if I disagree with them? If I tell them I'm mad, will they still think I'm a nice person? Sigh. Lots of work left to be done on this girl...

27. I finally picked up Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell. It's been out for a few years, but for some reason I never read it. There's great stuff in there. I wish I had read it years ago.

28. I learned this just yesterday - people used to brush their teeth with boar-bristled toothbrushes. Um, disgusting. I learned this from Roseanna White, and she said it best: "Nothing like cleaning your teeth the hair from the back of a pig's neck!"

What's something you've learned/discovered this year?

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

The Scariest Mass Email Ever

I'm currently reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis for the second time. I allow myself just one chapter a day because it helps me to absorb more. Every time I close the book, I think, "Man, that guy was smart." I love Mere Christianity because even though there's deep stuff in there, it's not tough to wrap my mind around. A couple nights ago, I read this:

"Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible."

The other night I camped out in that paragraph for a while and thought about all the ways in my life I see this demonstrated. I have struggled with honesty my entire life. Part of this, I think, is because of my writer's imagination; I'm always wanting to "embellish" and make my life-story sound just a teensy bit more interesting...

I'm also someone who avoids conflict whenever possible, so if I can lie to get out of a difficult conversation... Well, it's tempting.

But a few years ago when a lie of mine deeply hurt someone I loved, I knew I had some hard work ahead of me. I was ashamed of what I had done, of the piece of my life I'd had to work so hard to conceal. At the same time, I was writing Me, Just Different. And as Skylar learned about authenticity from her boyfriend's family, I was working on authenticity within me.

I decided I wanted to be the same person all the time, whether I was with my pastor or my coworkers. Whether I was with my husband or my girlfriends. And the first step toward that was getting rid of the lying.

This sounds a little cheesy, but to keep myself in line I pretended that at the end of the day, I would have to send a mass email to every person I'd ever met and tell them everything I'd done from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. What I ate. Who I talked to. What kind of words I used. What I read. How much TV I watched. How long I was on Facebook versus how long I was working. And in my head, all that information would get sent to my husband, my mom, my pastor, the girl who lived in the apartment upstairs who I was currently witnessing to, my ex-friends, my boss, and so forth.

And oh boy, was I ever aware of every activity I did throughout the day.

Now. This exercise can be taken to a dangerous extreme, because ultimately the only opinion that matters is God's. If my sweet, well-meaning Grandmother disagrees with a decision I make, but God agrees with it, then sorry, Grandma. That's just the way things are going to be.

But I had reached a very scary place of duplicity where I knew God saw and disapproved of some choices I was making ... but so long as He was quiet, I could mentally blow off my bad decisions. Talk about scary.

I still have honesty problems sometimes. But I do a lot worse when I allow myself "little" lies. I find the temptation toward bigger ones grows and grows, just like C.S. Lewis was talking about. And then I have to put myself back in the mindset of sending out that scary mass email, of reminding myself that I'm working toward authenticity.

In the above quote, C.S. Lewis says, "That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance." What's a little decision you could make today that will move you closer to Christ?

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

Becoming Shiny

Oh man, I'm running late today! Sorry about that, gals. I was out of town for a few days last week for the American Christian Fiction Writer's conference. Since returning home, I've said, "Sorry, I'm running late" about 4 bazillion times.

Me with fellow Girls, God, and the Good Life contributor, Betsy St. Amant. We're still smiling because it's before we've seen what's on our breakfast plates.

In happier news, since returning home, I've been much more faithful in reading my Bible. At the conference, we were encouraged to make our alone time with God a priority, which sounds like a total "duh" thing when I type it, but when I'm living out my day-to-day life, it doesn't feel so easy.


You guys are balancing school and sports and arts and youth group, so I know you understand how free time can feel precious. On a good day, I have about 90 minutes of kid-free time, and my thoughts are usually, "I need to blog, send some emails, write, start the laundry..." They are NOT, "I need to spend time praying and reading my Bible before I hop into my to-do list." I'm trying to change that. If any of you guys have suggestions for how you keep God a priority in your busy lives, I'd love to hear them!


Last night when I was reading Philippians, I came across the words, "...so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." (2:15-16a)


At first I really latched on that whole part about shining like stars in the universe and holding out "the word of life," because it made me think of my original goals with writing Christian fiction, that I wanted my books to shine and to bring life to people.


Then I realized, "hey, this passage starts out with 'so that, which means there must have been some kind of instruction in the beginning." (Confession: Sometimes Bible sentences are so long, I have to read them a couple times.)


You know how Paul started that sentence? "Do everything without complaining or arguing." THAT is what we're to do to become blameless and pure, to acquire that great shiny quality.


Those instructions, at first glance, seemed too simple to me. I mean, obviously it's crazy hard to follow through on never complaining or arguing, but it's not a difficult thing to explain to someone. A part of my brain was thinking, "It must be more complex. That can't be all of it, because I really don't see how-"


Then I thought of a woman I know at church. A woman who raised 3 kids - two of them with developmental challenges - by herself, and who struggles financially, but does it all with a smile on her face. I've never heard her complain about the man who abandoned her. She's never griped about not having a fella around the house to do the heavy lifting. And she doesn't talk about the stress that can be involved with providing for her kids on such a limited budget. 


Instead, she always wears a smile, regularly serves those around her, and often pauses to say hello and compliment my children or my outfit or my hair.


She has much to complain about (and sometimes I complain on her behalf to God) but she doesn't. And it makes her shine like a star in the universe. I know her coworkers at the public school must look at her and see that she's different, that she's unique.


So I'm going to work on reigning in my complaints and my tendency to argue, because I want to be shiny too!


Hope you're all having a great week!

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

I am a girl who likes her rest.

I love getting plenty of sleep at night. I love the tradition of Sabbath, of taking a full day off to rest. I love going to church and hearing inspiring sermons, of getting filled spiritually. I love eating a big meal, especially if I can follow it with a big nap...

And - this is a little embarrassing - I turn nasty very quickly when my rest and comfort are at stake. When I have to miss a Sunday of excellent teaching. When plans of lying on the couch and reading get thwarted by a friend who needs me. When, for whatever reason, I'm in a pattern of going to bed after midnight and the kids are in a pattern of waking up before seven.

During those times I find myself thinking, "Surely I can find someway to organize my time so that I'm always getting the right amount of rest and relaxation." As if that's what life is all about, achieving great organization so I can be rested all the time.

At church on Sunday, the worship band sang while we took communion. They always put the lyrics up on the screen, which I'm appreciative of since I like the visual of the words. One of the lyrics was:

I know I am filled up only to be emptied again.

And the truth of those words settled into my chest.

Yes, it's important to rest our bodies and minds. Yes, we should eat well and fill up our minds with scripture and good teaching. But the point isn't to never feel tired because we've organized our time so well that we're always getting 9 hours of sleep at night.  We "fill up" on rest and food and spiritual nourishment so we can empty ourselves. So we can bless others. 


I heard a speaker say that one of the great keys to life is found in the pattern of our breathing - we inhale deeply, only to give it all right back. The air is key to our existence, but it's not ours to keep. And so it is with rest. We are intended to rest. We are also intended to hand our energy, whatever there is of it, over to God for His purposes. Trusting that when we are emptied, He will refill us.

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

Pure and Confident

Last week, I devoured Anna and the French Kiss. It was an excellent book. Funny and romantic and satisfying, but it also left me aching a bit, and here's why: the main character, Anna, feels embarrassed by being a senior in high school and still a virgin.

This is something I've noticed is very common in general market teen fiction, that if the main character is still a virgin, they feel like they're the only virgin left in high school, and they frequently get teased about it by their friends.

I'm coming to you all today in hopes that you can straighten out my thinking - is it my high school experience that was weird? Because anyone who knew me knew I was waiting until I got married to have sex, and I never caught any grief for my principles.

I had friends who were having sex. And many of my friends who weren't yet sexually active intended to be once they had a serious boyfriend. But no one was ever like, "Stephanie, you're such a weirdo for being a virgin." I honestly believe - both then and now - that nobody cared about my sexual status. (Other than my parents, of course, and my boyfriend.)

As I've mulled this over for the last couple days, it's occurred to me that even though I'm a person who embarrasses easily, I can't dream up a single thing anyone could have said in high school that would have left me feeling awkward about my choice. I believed to the core of my being that waiting was the right choice and that not waiting was foolishness. Just like if all my friends divorced their husbands and teased me for staying married, it would in no way humiliate me because I believe in my marriage.

As someone who writes for teens (and who is raising kids), I would greatly appreciate your feedback on this. If you're a virgin, do the other kids at school tease you for it? Do you feel like you're alone? And if you're not a virgin, do you feel like it's more common at your school to be sexually active or not? I welcome you to either leave an anonymous comment or contact me privately by clicking here.

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

Remembering

I was raised in a church that shared communion every Sunday. It consisted of passing a tray with teeny-tiny crackers followed by a tray of thimble-sized cups of juice. For a long time, I knew very little about communion. I knew we did it because the night before he was crucified, Jesus said the bread represented his body, the wine represented his blood, and that we were to do this in remembrance of him.

It wasn't until I was in my early twenties, when I became serious about Bible study, that I put together some of the symbolism involved in communion. That Jesus and his disciples had been eating Passover dinner, that the bread would have been unleavened, that Jesus was the sacrifice, how weird it would have been for Jews to hear Jesus talking about wine representing blood, and many other details.

After that, whenever I partook in communion, my mind was on symbolism, on the deeper meaning behind me eating the world's smallest cracker and drinking grape juice. In enriched the experience. For a while.

Last week my husband went backpacking in Colorado with his brother and a friend. (The connection to communion will come in just a moment, I promise!) For whatever reason, those three guys find it enjoyable to strap monstrous backpacks to themselves, venture into the wilderness, and hike for 3 to 4 days. I wouldn't mind it so much except I miss talking to my husband when he's gone. He sometimes gets a cell phone signal if he's on top of a really big mountain, but typically on these trips, there'll be a couple days where we don't get to talk.

This time, the day before he left I was struck with a horrible summer cold. Not only was I sick, I was really, really ticked to be so sick. Ben was leaving! I wanted to be able to have fun with him and the kids, not just lay on the couch and blow my nose. My husband said he bring home take-out for dinner, that it was the least he could do. He picked up Greek food for us, and as he was unloading it, he said to me, "I got the extra pita bread for you. I know you really like it."

A couple days after he'd left, when the kids were already in bed and the house was quiet, I pulled out the leftover pita bread and hummus from the refrigerator. As I ate, I thought about my husband. I thought about how nice it was that he had ordered extra for me. I thought about how what he did demonstrated that he loved me. I thought about how nice it was to have a tangible reminder of it since at the moment he wasn't tangible.

In short - I remembered him.

In Luke 22:19, it says, "And he took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, 'This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."

The symbolism involved in communion is certainly worth understanding and can enrich the experience. But what really matters is that act of remembering. Remembering that Jesus gave what he did - his body, his blood - because he loves you.

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

What makes you matter?

Every weekday when my kids go down for their afternoon nap, I head down to my office in hopes of writing. Sometimes my schedule is too clogged to get beyond email and various other business aspects of being a novelist, and I don't get to write on that particular day. On those days, when my husband gets home from work, he'll say to me, "How was your work time?" I'll groan and say, "Horrible. I got nothing done."

It's possible I sent 20 work related emails, wrote 3 blog posts, did a couple interviews, and packed up a couple books to go in the mail. But it will still feel like I accomplished nothing because I didn't get to write.

Then there are days like last Friday, when I put my kids down for their nap, and then spent my alone time getting ready for a party we were throwing that night. While I shuffled chairs and worked on the spinach and artichoke dip, you want to know what was going on in my head? I could be writing ... I could be writing ... I could be writing.

In some ways, this burning desire to write has served me well. It's what helped me write 3 novels - from concept to completion - in the first year of my daughter's life and get them turned into my publisher before deadline.

The burning desire to write has helped me overcome obstacles like rejection and sluggish sales. It's helped me sit at my desk and work even on days I'd rather take a nap. It's helped me get out of bed early or stay up late or turn off a good TV show.

But the desire to write has also done something dangerous inside me - on days when writing goes well, I feel good about myself. I feel like I'm fulfilling the tasks God has given me, and like I'm being a good steward of my time. But on days I don't get to write, or when it goes poorly, I am a failure.

Not, "My day was good, except I only got to write 50 words."

Not, "There wasn't time for writing today, but I got a bunch of other necessary stuff done."

No. My mentality is I fail when I don't write.

But something occurred to me on Friday between shuffling chairs and the spinach and artichoke dip. As I was cooking, I wondered how women got everything done in the days before dishwashers and washing machines and grocery stores? And as I thought about it more, I was struck by the reality of life not so long ago when day-to-day life was consumed by the essentials. Food, shelter, and clothing. That's what you spent your time on. Finding, preserving, and preparing food for your family. Maintaining your house. Making clothes for your family.

And as dumb and basic as this may sound, this thought meant peace of mind to me - God loved them every bit as much as he loves me. Because they were His creation. And they were good. (Genesis 1:31)

I don't mean to diminish the importance of how we choose to spend the free time we're so blessed with. God cares deeply about how you choose to spend your time. And He has plans for you and has asked you to be a good steward of the talents He's blessed you with.

But God delights in you simply because you are. Because He called you into existence. He doesn't love me more on days that I write than days that I spend my time making goofy faces at my kids so they'll laugh. My value in His eyes doesn't fluctuate with my word count, so why do I let it in mine?

This is a new concept to me, that God loves me just because I exist. I mean, it's something about which I would have said, "Yeah, that's true," but it isn't something I knew how to apply to me. I'm working to get better and trusting God to help me on that. And I trust He'll help me not because I'm being faithful in my writing or because I'm striving to be a Proverbs 31 wife, but because He made me and He loves me.

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

A tangled Life

Facebook has made me a more authentic person.

Even before the days of social networking, I would occasionally complain that my life was too connected. My coworkers at my 9-5 job included family members and people I went to church with. Moms of my friends did stuff with my mother-in-law or my mom. Sharing news sometimes felt complicated. "If I tell so-and-so, then I need to tell this person too." Or, "If we invite this person, we'll need to invite that person as well."

My life felt very tangled. And that was before Facebook.

I'm constantly amazed by how far my Facebook statuses reach. By which I mean, how the same statement is read by people from different parts of my life. Anything I post on Facebook might be seen by:

My husband

My best friend

A variety of ex-best friends

My in-laws

My brother-in-law's girlfriend

My brother-in-law's ex-girlfriend

My grandfather-in-law

My literary agent

Authors I love and respect

Girls who have read my books

Fellow writers who hang out on Go Teen Writers

People I used to go to church with ... including my pastor and his wife

People who go to church with my parents

Teens who babysit my kids

My daughter's preschool teachers

Kids of former coworkers

People I went to elementary school with

People I went to middle school with

Girls I went to high school with

Girls who go to my alma mater, who heard me speak at career day, and follow me on FB

And many, many more ... including a bunch of people I don't really know.

One time I posted something about my favorite sweatpants. (From which you might correctly gather I'm not the most interesting person to follow.) I said something about how my new Aerie sweatpants were so comfy, I may never again wear anything else. That night at a party, my mom - who at the time was on FB - joked that she was surprised I didn't have on my sweatpants. At church the following Sunday, a woman whom I'd never met approached me about what brand of sweatpants I'd bought.

And that was the moment I realized something very basic and, really, pretty obvious - Whatever I put on Facebook can be read by anybody. I already knew that on some level, but the sweatpants situation really drove it home. Like anything I say about my mom might be read by friends of hers. Anything I say about my new church will be read by people who attend the church we've left. If I felt inclined to publicly gripe about my husband, it wouldn't just be read by my friends. It would be read my his parents, his brother, his best friend, a coworker, people he leads in Bible study.

While I used to gripe about how tangled my life felt, I now find I'm grateful for it. The tangles hold me accountable. The tangles hold me back from the temptation of being one person with my cocktail loving coworkers and another person with my conservative in-laws. From being one person with my atheist friends and another with my Jesus-lovin' friends.

What about you? Have you ever been surprised by the reaches of Facebook?

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.