Lay it Down

Saturday afternoon--day before Easter--a beautiful day in Georgia. I just took this picture. It's a cross beside our driveway my husband and son built a few years ago. We live way back in the woods and have a long gravel driveway. You can't see the cross from the road though sometimes I wish you could.

We were having the women from a local homeless shelter over to eat lunch one Thanksgiving. As I was busy fretting in the kitchen making sure everything was pretty and just so,my husband Rick and my son Thomas (then 14) were constructing the cross. When they finished Rick said, "We wanted the women to feel welcome." Ohhhh, how I remember--me busy worrying about making things perfect as real love was being shown.

Real Love. Authentic Love. Love not done for show but from the heart.

Today I stood at the foot of the cross and thought and prayed. It's been here for maybe four years and I've never done that.

Jesus, thank you. What You did for me covers it all, doesn't it? Forgive me, Lord. Your death covers my sin of worry, my fear, my lack of faith, and when I care more about pleasing others than pleasing You.

I thought about His blood. His pain. His forgiveness. I saw a flash of His agony in my mind, and I imagined the sounds of the crowd. It's not something I think about too often. It's not easy to think about.

One thing I know in my mind and want to understand in my heart--His death was enough. The cross welcomed the homeless women that Thanksgiving. It continues to welcome all of us--from the down-and-out to the up-and-out. Sometimes I choose to hang on to my guilt. But maybe that says to Jesus, "You're blood wasn't enough for me. Maybe for others, but not for my sin."

I think my attitude might be insulting to Him.

I'm laying it down now at the foot of the cross. Forgive me, Lord. Help me to be genuine in my love--more like You.

Julie