Saturday, March 19, 2011

How Did I Do?

The audition was a blur.

“Very nice,” one of the judges said.

“That was wonderful,” a young woman who’d been listen in whispered as the next singer prepared to try out.

But was it?

After nudges from my husband, a couple from church, and several people who’d heard me sing the National Anthem at Little League Opening Day last year, I’d answered an open call to sing it for our local minor league baseball team.

Your audition has been scheduled for 1:30 PM, the e-mail said.

My ride dropped me off twenty minutes early. I didn’t mind at all. I figured it would give me time to relax and pray. I listened to two women try out, both of whom were great.

Fifteen more minutes.

“Are you here to audition?”

Were they talking to me?

“Oh, I’m scheduled for one-thirty. I’m a little early.”

“That’s okay. You can go now.”

I knew it would sound professional to say I wasn’t ready. “Okay,” I said.

Feeling my body (including my throat) tense up, I walked to the center of the room and picked up the microphone. I started to singing, knowing that I didn’t sound nearly as strong as the powerhouse that tried out before me. But I focused on doing my best with the voice that I had.

Next thing I knew, I was calling my ride to say I was finished already, those compliments ringing in my mind. Were they just being polite?

“How did your audition go?” A friend asked later.

“Okay, I guess.” I told her what happened.

I’d made up my mind to leave how well I did (or didn’t) up to the judges. It had happened too quickly for me to know. And maybe that’s better. I do know one thing: I don’t find myself obsessing about every possible mistake or weak note. I don’t feel like I’ll fall apart from disappointment and a sense of failure if I don’t get that desired phone call. I recognize that I did my best under not-so-perfect circumstances. I know that if I don’t make it, it wasn’t meant to be and I can try again next year. That is a huge step for me!

So in that, I guess the audition went well. It wasn’t perfect, but I responded to imperfection better than I would have in the past?

When has a disappointment, or a time when you didn’t perform as well as you would have liked to, revealed an area of growth? Ask God to help you see every opportunity, including those that don’t turn out perfectly, as a chance to glorify Him in your response.

1 comment:

Diane Marie Shaw said...

Jeanette, I admire your ability to let go of worry and accept the results of your audition. That is not always an easy thing to do. It shows you are confident in who you are.
I'm so glad you said you would try again next year if the results are not what you want them to be.


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