Monday, April 18, 2011
I lay on the floor, hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I can’t do this anymore, God. I can’t keep going.
Four years. I thought this would be over by now. I thought that one day, after all the prayers my friends and I could muster, I would wake up whole.
That day didn’t come.
My friends were tired of waiting. One by one they stopped calling; stopped visiting; stopped remembering.
God, if you’re there – give me one reason to stay here. One reason to keep breathing.
I stared at the wall – not expecting an answer. Then I saw it.
Perched on my bulletin board was a card from a church lady: He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
The sobs escaped from somewhere deep inside of me.
I don’t know where that secret place is, but God, I want to be there.
Something changed in that moment. I wish I could say that magically my friends started calling, or that my body was miraculously healed.
But the change was deeper. For the first time I could see Jesus, carrying me like a wounded sheep – close to His heart. I could see His tears, His agony, His pain for me.
It was eight years before the Gentle Shepherd chose to heal my body.
There were still days I was angry, days I couldn’t feel His presence, days I wanted to end it all. But in those desperate moments I reached out for that secret place. I asked Him to meet me there.
I don’t know what you’re going through today, but I want you to know you have a Gentle Shepherd. And I want you to know that He longs to hold you close to His heart. He wants you to never be alone.
Would you ask Him to do that for you today?
Lord, I need You today. I need you to be my Gentle Shepherd.
I need to be in your secret place, safe from everything that’s surrounding me. Would You show me how to find you there? In Jesus' name, Amen.
Jeremiah 29:13, When you come looking for me, you'll find me.
Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. (MSG)
Get alone with God today. Wait for Him to meet You. He promises He will.
What difficulty can Jesus meet you in today?
[This post is re-shared from Rad Revolution.]
B.J. Hamrick wants to walk with the realization that every breath, every heartbeat is a gift from God. She spends most of her time at Real Teen Faith, a safe place where faith-filled and seeking teens talk about God, current events, books, music, culture, devos, lyrics and poetry, and missions.
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Posted by Bare Naked Blog w/Bekah at 12:29 PM