I've been reworking an article this week and had gotten to the point of exhaustion.(Writing can be that way!) I was tired of it. Sick of it. Frustrated.
It felt like I'd worked the story a million different ways and it still wasn't coming together. Early Wednesday morning, I trudged to the computer and started chopping, reworking, doing it all over again--the whole time pushing down that still small Voice inside my heart.
I'm here. Come to Me.
On good days, I have my quiet time in the mornings. I sit in an Adirondack chair in my bedroom and usually light a candle. But some days I put it off. I'll jump on the computer first. Or I'll decide to have my quiet time later in the day. Or I'll totally skip it.
So, late Wednesday afternoon, the words still weren't coming together. I decided to stop. Do something different. Even shut down the computer. I did what I should have done to start with. I went downstairs and sat in my chair in my bedroom. I read Proverbs 15 for the 15th day of the month. I love reading from The Message. Nothing fancy or complicated.
Just listen to this..."God can't stand pious poses but he delights in genuine prayers." And down a little further. "A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song." And another. "Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed." One last verse. "God smashes the pretensions of the arrogant; he stands with those who have no standing."
That was me...miserable, arrogant (trying to write without praying first), being hardheaded.
So,I just started talking to God like I'm writing to y'all today. "I'm sorry, Lord. Help me. I need You. I can't do this without You."
No, I didn't finish the article on Wednesday. The right words didn't land immediately in my thoughts. I finished today, but more important that getting my work done was getting my heart right.