I've been reworking an article this week and had gotten to the point of exhaustion.(Writing can be that way!) I was tired of it. Sick of it. Frustrated.
It felt like I'd worked the story a million different ways and it still wasn't coming together. Early Wednesday morning, I trudged to the computer and started chopping, reworking, doing it all over again--the whole time pushing down that still small Voice inside my heart.
I'm here. Come to Me.
On good days, I have my quiet time in the mornings. I sit in an Adirondack chair in my bedroom and usually light a candle. But some days I put it off. I'll jump on the computer first. Or I'll decide to have my quiet time later in the day. Or I'll totally skip it.
So, late Wednesday afternoon, the words still weren't coming together. I decided to stop. Do something different. Even shut down the computer. I did what I should have done to start with. I went downstairs and sat in my chair in my bedroom. I read Proverbs 15 for the 15th day of the month. I love reading from The Message. Nothing fancy or complicated.
Just listen to this..."God can't stand pious poses but he delights in genuine prayers." And down a little further. "A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song." And another. "Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed." One last verse. "God smashes the pretensions of the arrogant; he stands with those who have no standing."
That was me...miserable, arrogant (trying to write without praying first), being hardheaded.
So,I just started talking to God like I'm writing to y'all today. "I'm sorry, Lord. Help me. I need You. I can't do this without You."
No, I didn't finish the article on Wednesday. The right words didn't land immediately in my thoughts. I finished today, but more important that getting my work done was getting my heart right.
Love,
Julie
10 comments:
Thanks for sharing your heart. I have suffered through the same type of writing block from a self sufficient attitude. I need HIm to get me through each and every day.
I get that way when writing fiction. I feel that for some reason I want to write what I want, but the Holy Spirit will guide me at times. Its fun to be creative while still knowing God is your everything, including Editor and Counselor!
Thanks!
Thank you Erica and Barbara. Great words--Editor and Counselor. I'm so glad y'all wrote. I was thiking, dumb post, Julie. Nobody's going to understand. Not the right kind of thoughts, for sure!
Julie, thanks for your story, love to read what you post, it is always inspirational, never doubt that. Thanks for reminding us whose in control and the need to have our own quite time and prayers.
Julie, I love the heartfelt post and hearing about your heart as a writer. I admire you shutting down the computer and going to God. And of listening, and then acting.
Much love,
B.J.
Julie,
What a timely message as I have had writer's block since Portland. I also had neglected my prayers. Today, after getting my heart right with God, I finally finished my rewrite. He makes everything so much easier when He is in charge of the ideas.
Thank you for sharing!
Lori Durham
Thanks for sharing that Julie. Sometimes it is so easy and tempting to try and do things on our own, and place Gd on the back burner. Thanks for being honest, I'm sure we've all been to this place at least once before.
Hey, Lori and B.J. and Patty! Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Glad there are people who truly understand.
Hi Julie- I know just where you are at. I started a blog just because I sat down to write and prayed first :) When I was done praying, I just had words coming to me that had nothing to do with what I thought I was going to write about. It's funny how our God works. It's so much better when we give Him a chance to voice His opinion before we go about our own way.
I love what you said, Heather. I'm to launch my own blog this week. I'm doing a lot of talking to God about it. He has a funny way of re-directing our words. :-)
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