Thursday, August 04, 2011

Premarital Cosexual Interdigitation

 “Young lady, do you believe in premarital cosexual interdigitation?”

I felt my jaw drop as my pastor’s question rolled around in my brain. “Premarital… cosexual…” Sex! He said sex! He couldn’t want me to say yes!

If I’d paused to listen to his last word, “interdigitation”,  I would have known I’d been asked a trick question. But I was so caught up on the word “sex” that I couldn’t think of one unawkward answer.

I have a similar question for you today – what do you believe is OK physically before marriage? Do you think sex is worth waiting for… or is that a bunch of word-censored-here?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you don’t want to share your name or beliefs openly here, email me at real[teen]faith[at]gmail[dot]com with “teen sex” in the subject line.

And by the way… I decided I did like the idea of premarital cosexual interdigitation:
Verb: (transitive) To fold or lock together, as when the fingers of one hand are laced between those of the other. (Source)

B.J. writes for you and for teens at .


Sierra said...

I think that hugging or holding hands once I'm pretty serious is o.K. I'm saving my first kiss for the alter and obviously stuff beyond that. I'm not going to date until I'm 18 and I'm praying that God won't let me fall into temptation of dating someone before that. This is an awesome straight forward post.I hope it'll get some people thinking.Sierra
Keep Growing Beautiful♥ (Cause You Are!)

Anonymous said...

hahaha. So your pastor asked if you believed in holding your bf's hand before marriage? :P. I would have been tricked too. I believe that purity is extremely important, and physical intimacy should be limited before marriage.

Emily said...

It is NOT OK! And you can quote me on that!

Chris said...

If the person you love AND GOD means enough to you, you'd do what God says and wait until marriage. It shows actually how much you respect the both of them!
God Bless,

Sapphire said...

I firmly believe in waiting to have sex until you're married. I personally don't see any problem with holding hands, hugging, and kissing once you're in a "serious" relationship, but that's something each person has to decide for themself.

B.J. {& Ethan} said...

Wow! So many thoughts on this one! Thanks for sharing. I know Ethan and I have been so grateful to those who encouraged us to wait for each other.

Counter Cultural Teen said...

I believe premarital sex is a sin and Paul makes that clear in the Bible. I will stay pure until I am married.

But, especially around Christians, I see a lot of looking down upon people who have not waited. Sometimes you don't know the story behind it. It is really harsh and really to normal to judge a book by its cover. People often don't even notice they have done it! That girl at your school that dresses a little revealing and hangs out with the wrong guys. Well Just maybe her dad is not around. And just maybe she is stuck with a sisters hand me downs. Maybe that girl that snapped at you and looks at you ugly, her parents my have just gotten divorced. There is always a story to everyone's life.

It is so wonderful to wait! And I am so blessed that my boyfriend and I are surrounded by friends and family who support that same idea! We really are! Not everyone has that support!

My boyfriend and I have held hands, hugged, and kissed. But we are never in situations where things could go farther than that! We keep ourselves from that pressure! It is not too hard since we are in different states most of the time.

My friends, family, and boyfriend all know where I stand on this and they support me! And I think it is especially important for my two little sisters. One day they will have boyfriends too! I don't want to be the "what not to do" for them! I want to be able to tell them that it is so worth the wait! And support them! :)

So that is my very long opinion! sorry! I can be a little wordy!

If you want to know more about what I think you can check out my blog!

Thank you! :)

Sierra said...

Counter Cultural Teen:
I love what you said!And it is so true that everyone has a different story. I have a friend who know has a wonderful little baby...she got looked down on at her co'op and it was painful for her.She made a mistake can't we forgive her like God has people? Let me go check out your blog I want to hear your opinion more :)
Keep Growing Beautiful♥ (Cause You Are!)

Counter Cultural Teen said...

Thank you so much Sierra! If God's grace and love is good enough for us to accept isn't it good enough for us to show? Thank you so much! :)

Sierra said...

You said!And your welcome :)
Keep Growing Beautiful♥ (Cause You Are!)