Top 10 Reasons Why Sexual Activity is Physically, Emotionally, and Socially Dangerous!

No one doubts that sexual activity is physically, emotionally, and socially dangerous.

What are the risks? Here is . . .

The Top 10 List

10. The risk of death. More than 600,000 cases of AIDS have been reported in the United States since 1981, and as many as 900,000 Americans may be infected with HIV.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

9. The risk of lost relationships. When you choose to develop a sexual relationship with someone, you've immediately changed the definition of the relationship. There is no such thing as casual sex. Once you have developed a sexual relationship, that relationship turns a critical corner. After the relationship ends, you and your partner will experience that guilt and pain of promises broken.

Hebrews 12:16 says, "See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son."

8. Risks of incurable disease. Imagine that you have found that one special person with whom you want to share your life ... and now you are forced to break the news that you have an incurable disease. Even though such diseases like herpes are generally not considered life threatening, there are no cures. Not only is it incurable, it fills a life with worries, awkward revelations, and continuous need for medication.

1 Corinthians 6:13 says, "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

7. The risk of damaging the destiny of your future marriage. There is no way that premarital sex of any kind could be a positive thing for your future marriage. (Just ask my husband how he feels "knowing" about my past.) It only causes suspicion, mistrust, and regret.

Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

6. The risk of permanently damaging your testimony as a Christian. You'll never be able to honestly say, "I was a virgin before I was married." You'll never be able to live as an example of committed purity.

Ephesians 5:3 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

5. The risk of depression. Those who participate in premarital sex experience emotional damage that may lead to an increased chance of mental depression and emotional despair.

2 Corinthians 12:21 says, "I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged."

4. The risk of placing your future children in spiritual harm's way. The Bible clearly speaks of the concept of generational sin. What you sow (plant) spiritually may be reaped in the life of your children. Remain pure before God and you'll be tenaciously guarding the future of the next generation.

Proverbs 20:7 says, "The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him."

3. The risk of sexual dysfunction. People spend millions of dollars to correct sexual dysfunction through drugs and psychotherapy. Why? Because they entered marriage with unresolved sexual issues. For example, a man may think that he will be free from the curse of pornography once he gets married, only to find that the problems are even more noticeable and controlling. Sexual purity before marriage is the first step to incredible sexual fulfillment after marriage.

Mark 7:21 says, "For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery,"

2. The risk of shame. Premarital sex imputes a spiritual state of shame that becomes a major weapon for our enemy. God forgives you, but you will still be vulnerable to Satan's whispering accusations on your worth.

1 Corinthians 5:1-2 says, "It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you . . . Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief?"

1. The risk of disobeying God and letting Satan get a foothold. The Bible, time after time tells us to flee sexual sins. Why? Because it is a major strategy of the devil to sabotage God's work on Earth. How can God work through you, when you aren't living up to His standards?

1 Thessalonians 4:3 says, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality."

So, what do you think?

Pure and Confident

Last week, I devoured Anna and the French Kiss. It was an excellent book. Funny and romantic and satisfying, but it also left me aching a bit, and here's why: the main character, Anna, feels embarrassed by being a senior in high school and still a virgin.

This is something I've noticed is very common in general market teen fiction, that if the main character is still a virgin, they feel like they're the only virgin left in high school, and they frequently get teased about it by their friends.

I'm coming to you all today in hopes that you can straighten out my thinking - is it my high school experience that was weird? Because anyone who knew me knew I was waiting until I got married to have sex, and I never caught any grief for my principles.

I had friends who were having sex. And many of my friends who weren't yet sexually active intended to be once they had a serious boyfriend. But no one was ever like, "Stephanie, you're such a weirdo for being a virgin." I honestly believe - both then and now - that nobody cared about my sexual status. (Other than my parents, of course, and my boyfriend.)

As I've mulled this over for the last couple days, it's occurred to me that even though I'm a person who embarrasses easily, I can't dream up a single thing anyone could have said in high school that would have left me feeling awkward about my choice. I believed to the core of my being that waiting was the right choice and that not waiting was foolishness. Just like if all my friends divorced their husbands and teased me for staying married, it would in no way humiliate me because I believe in my marriage.

As someone who writes for teens (and who is raising kids), I would greatly appreciate your feedback on this. If you're a virgin, do the other kids at school tease you for it? Do you feel like you're alone? And if you're not a virgin, do you feel like it's more common at your school to be sexually active or not? I welcome you to either leave an anonymous comment or contact me privately by clicking here.

Stephanie Morrill is a twenty-something living in Overland Park, Kansas with her husband and two kids. Her only talents are reading, writing, and drinking coffee, so career options were somewhat limited. Fortunately, she discovered a passion for young adult novels and has been writing them ever since. Stephanie is the author of The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series and is currently working on other young adult projects. She enjoys encouraging and teaching teen writers and does so on her blog www.GoTeenWriters.com. To connect with Stephanie and read samples of her books, check out www.StephanieMorrillBooks.com.

You are not alone in your struggles

Recently I received an email from a 14-year-old I'll call Sarah. She said she'd made some stupid decisions. She's fourteen and after fooling around with a guy she feels lousy and doesn't want to do it again ... but she usually does. She wanted some advice.

I immediately thought of the book Nobody Told Me by Pam Stenzel and Melissa Nesdahl. This book says everything I want to say about teen sex and purity and so much more! I asked Melissa to help me craft a note to Sarah and this is what she came up with:

Dear Sarah*,


I am so glad that you took the time to write. You are not alone in your struggles and so many will benefit from your honesty.


First of all, “fooling around” with guys has me concerned about your physical health. Dealing with the emotions and boundaries are critical, but first we MUST talk about your body.


Many teens do not realize that ANY genital contact – hand, mouth, or genital to genital contact – place you at risk for disease. Now, if you are like most teens you are thinking I look fine. I feel fine. And, I’ve noticed nothing down there. I’ve escaped that risk. 


NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.


One in four teens have at least one STD and, sadly, 80% of the people infected with sexually transmitted diseases HAVE NO SYMPTOMS. That is four out of five! STDs are spreading like wildfire because students do not realize they are infected and it is going from person to person to person.


Since you are a female, infection places you at higher risk for damage. Infertility in our country has gone through the roof largely because of internal damage to girls’ bodies resulting from STDs. This is not just about “the heat of the moment.” This is about your future marriage and ability to have a family. Please see your regular family physician or OB/GYN for complete bacterial and viral disease testing.


I am thankful that you want to set up boundaries. Because you CONTINUE to place yourself in dating situations you are going to struggle. Part of setting up healthy boundaries is going to mean STAYING OUT of dating relationships and all one-on-one situations with the opposite gender right now. I’d suggest waiting to date again until you are 16 and then group date through the rest of high school. It will keep you in much safer situations.


In the meantime, please do a few things- 1) read NOBODY TOLD ME for added encouragement from your peers going through the same situations and rising victorious in recycled virginity. 2) Write a letter to your future spouse. This forward thinking exercise will help you to see beyond today. 3) Also, think through the character qualities that you want in your future spouse. What top 10 things are a “must?” What won’t you tolerate? Thinking through these questions will help you be selective when you start dating again so that you only date people with marriage potential…rather than dating just to date. 4) PRAY!


Sarah, God made you. And, in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 He tells you this, “"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body." You are struggling emotionally because your actions are outside of your Maker’s will.


But, here is the amazing thing. If you truly repent and TURN FROM YOUR SIN, God places your sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). He forgives you. Now you need to forgive yourself. In doing so, you will feel new respect for yourself and love for your Savior.


Your past actions DO NOT have to be your future ones. You CAN choose recycled virginity from now until you marry. One day you will have to tell your future spouse about your past, but you will be able to say that you were tested and have remained pure ever since. That shows INCREDIBLE character that you can be proud of.


Today you get to decide. Will you choose character so that you attract a Godly man of character one day? Or, will you continue to be used, abused, and placed at risk. Your Creator says you are worth far more. Choose healthy boundaries so from this day forward you can live out His best.


I BELIEVE IN YOU! 

Thank you, Melissa, for sharing your heart and this great information. I highly recommend Nobody Told Me. Also, pick up a copy of Praying for Your Future Husband for a young woman you love. You can pre-order now!

The Trouble with Glee

So it’s April Fools Day and it might be nice to have come up with some clever and fun post for today, (Google is now Topeka? huh?) but seriously, I’m just not feeling very clever! But I did read a blog the other day that made me think about something I do want to talk about.

Glee.

So first, here’s the blog post that caught my interest: Movies, Books & Teen Sex

So what does this have to do with Glee?

Confession - I was a musical theater geek in high school (we didn’t have a glee club). I didn’t play sports. I couldn’t play an instrument. But I did every theatrical show possible throughout high school and into college. And I love musicals. So when Glee premiered I was deliriously happy.

Glee has a great cast of misfit characters

(we won’t talk about how most of them are not teens, but rather twenty-somethings.)

Glee has great music and choreography.

Glee can be utterly hilarious.

(Sue has some of the best one-liners on television).

I started watching it last year, eager for each and every week. I ignored the “yuck” of the show and concentrated on what I loved about it. But as time went on, the “yuck” side grew and grew - to the point that I decided to turn it off.

I was SO frustrated. There were parts of the show I just loved. Why did they include the junk? Why did they have to ruin it?

For me, part of the problem was that my 10 year old daughter was watching it with me. My “mom” ears are more sensitive to the messages and behavior that is being encouraged. But even my regular “Sarah” ears were bothered by what was happening in front of me. This wildly popular show among teens - what is it saying?

1. The President of the Chastity Club gets pregnant - making the idea of chastity a complete joke. Actually, sexual comments are all over the show, all the time. So much so, that it accounts for most of the “yuck”. Treating sex so lightly and casually - it's damaging to the way God wants us to view it.

2. Will is married to such a witch that viewers actually want him to commit adultery with the sweet doe-eyed Emma. This is by far the most troublesome one for me. Adultery made it into the list of 10 commandments for a reason. This just makes marriage look like something disposable. The idea that "I can do anything for love and it's not wrong". Marriage shouldn’t be disposable. Ever.

3. Bullying - the Glee kids are regularly bullied and harassed, but it’s never stopped. Granted, Slushie in the face isn’t dangerous. But it feeds into that idea that those who are on the outskirts of High school society should expect to be abused. they should expect to be tormented. And with so many troubling news reports about bullying that is taking lives, well, should we be laughing about it?

4. Many of the “adults” of the show are usually portrayed as either idiots or just ineffective. I realize that books and shows for teens want to portray the teens as smarter than the adults and able to make their own decisions - but - and this is a pretty big but, adults cannot just be dismissed from the equation. Scriptures are full of examples of how important it is for one generation to mentor the next generation.

5. The lying. Oh, the lying. Morality? Practically non-existent.

The trouble with Glee?

It teaches, supports and encourages things that are absolutely against Scripture. And no show-stopping musical number can really make me forget that fact. I know there are tons of people who continue to watch the show with great excitement every week. I totally get it, and I’m not judging you for it. Me, I wanted to turn it off to be a role model for my daughter. And maybe for you too.

All I want is for you to Be Wise. I don’t think we should ever ignore the messages that the media is throwing at us every day. Messages that make us deaf to the true messages. We have to be discerning. We have to be thoughtful. And we have to make sure that we don't give this world permission to change us in ways that move us farther from the One and Only.

Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

Philippians 4:8

So what do YOU think?

Blessings,

Sarah

Sarah Anne Sumpolec