I posted this on my own blog a few days ago and thought you might appreciate it, too.

See this picture? The one golf tee remaining in the Peg Jump game is proof that I am a genius. It says so right on the wooden triangle--"One peg = "Wow, genius!" I have waiting my entire life to solve this puzzle. (Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration considering that I didn't start playing the game until I bought one while on vacation at age ten.) For a girl whose kindergarten teacher responded to her inability to learn colors with "Maybe she's just dumb," this was a very exciting day. There is only one problem with getting down to one peg: unless you took notes while playing that perfect game, or decide to cheat by looking up the solution online, the chances of acheiving greatness a second time are pretty slim.

Over the weekend, I played this game over and over again, and the best I could hope for was two pegs, which the instructions call "Above average." Not bad, but "'Wow,' Genius!" felt so much better. A few times I ended up with three, earning a "So-so." And then there were the moments when four pegs stared up at me, which the game-makers consider "Pretty bad." The longer I played only to realize that I'd set a standard for myself that I might never measure up to again, the more I fought a sense of failure. What had I done differently on that glorious Saturday afternoon?

Yes, I know it is just a game, but it was amazing how quickly I bought into the message that earning a "So-so," or heaven forbid a "Pretty bad" meant I was no longer a genius, as if that wooden triangle with ten golf tees stuck into it measured my intelligence. I have come a long way in my battle with wrapping my identity and value up in the wrong things, but this obsession with the Peg Jump reminded me how easy it is to slip back into old patterns of connecting it to achievements and what others think of or say about me. It also drove home the destructive nature of this trap--that when I allow success, opinions, or whatever that desired thing is to make or break how I feel, it is very difficult to enjoy triumphs, relationships, and the joys of life, because there is always a standard to fear not measuring up to.

At least this time, I was able to see the silliness it in all, set that crazy game down, and refuse to let the words on a piece of wood label me. Maybe it's time to do the same in a few other areas.

What about you? What have you allowed to make or break your sense of value lately? What is God teaching you about who you are in Him?    

A Rescue

Today a young mother called me, excited about what God did to encourage her family. Her husband has a good job, but they have four little ones, and they live in an expensive area of California. Within the last week, they ran out of money, even for the basics.

A neighbor asked my friend for help packing for a move. She agreed. Then she discovered that what her neighbor most needed was someone to take the food that would otherwise go to waste. She took home ten grocery sacks of food—most of it exactly what she would buy.

This morning her husband went out the door to go to work. Someone had left a card on the windshield, which included a $100 gift certificate for a nearby food store.

God was at work providing for this family’s needs, and as my friend emphasized, in answer to their prayers. Her oldest daughter, a six-year-old, said, “I knew God did that for other people, but I didn’t know he would do that for us.”

Boy, that felt familiar. I’ve thought the same thing. Too often.

Yes, God does that . . . but will he do that for me?

I got off the phone and considered how I might be caught in that kind of thinking right now. It didn’t take long to identify a few areas of shaky trust: a ministry opportunity, a relationship, a miscommunication, a fear.

During our conversation, my friend had also shared this verse:

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

“Save” in the first sentence is the Hebrew word, yasa, a verb which means help, deliver, defend, or rescue. Its root word carries the idea of wide open freedom.

God is always available. He will meet me in my struggles and be the warrior God fighting for my rescue and freedom—from anything that traps or binds me. And when I’m faced with circumstances that make my heart pound with anxiety or worry, he is there to quiet me with his love.

Think I’ll go spend some time with my Warrior God. Want to join me?

Jan

http://www.jankern.com/

You!

I've been wondering about the readers of Girls, God and the Good Life and a bunch of questions came to mind.

What does a typical day look like in the life of (fill in your name)?

What does she love about her life and what would she want to change?

What issues are most important to her--those that she gets excited and happy about or that make her foot-stomping mad?

What in her daily life does she feel most gets in the way of her being all God meant her to be?

What scripture has she chosen for her life verse (for now)?

When she dreams big about the possibilities God can accomplish through her, how does she see herself as a world changer?

(Or "him" . . . as I know there are some readers who are guys.)

And, since I'm a writer like the others who post here, I wonder if there are some of you who love writing like we do and aspire to using your writing in ministry or as a profession.

Would you care to share about any of the above? I think the writers on this blog (definitely including me) would love to know more about you!

Jan

http://www.jankern.com/
http://choose2livefree.com/ (really hoping to launch soon!)

"Let's be Friends!"

This is Belle, my son Christian’s new dog. She has starred in a few blog posts lately. Although she is almost 50 pounds she seems to think she’s a lap dog. She also lives under the delusion that our two cats, Lucia and Princess, want to be her friends. Lucia has warmed up to Belle a little but gets sick of the constant pestering. Princess has disliked the oversized intruder since Day 1. She hisses and arches her back whenever Belle comes within 20 feet of her personal space.

Princess’s new favorite routine is to sit on the highest shelf she can find in order to make herself taller and more threatening. But Belle refuses to give up. She is a needy dog with separation anxiety and wants companionship. She looks up at Princess with her big brown eyes as if to say, “Why can’t we all just get along? I’m really very nice.”

I even went so far as to remind Princess that she has no room to think of herself as superior. “You come from the same background, you know. Same shelter and everything.”

On Day 3 of Belle’s new life in the Hanscome house she and Princess had an inevitable standoff. They met unexpectedly in the laundry room. I noticed, right off the bat that Princess didn’t look quite as confident without the added height that a book shelf provided.

“Not feeling quite so cocky now, are you, Princess?” I teased.

She looked at me like she wanted to hiss, “Why don’t you shut up! Who is responsible for this creature anyway? I need to know whose shoe to cough up a hairball in tonight.”

Then, in one heart-stopping moment, Belle tried to take advantage and step a little closer, Princess made a run for it by jumping over Belle, Belle defended herself against the oncoming attack by standing to her full height, causing Princess to miss the hurdle, and she ended up clawing her way over Belle’s back. Both ran from the scene in a flurry of hisses and yelps.

For a week Belle trembled in fear at the sight of Princess. She didn’t even need to arch her back. Belle still gave her the sad eyes. She still wanted to be friends. And you guessed it, the fear has worn off and she is back to being the thing that won’t leave. Obviously, the attraction isn’t mutual and probably never will be. I can’t help wondering, why won’t Belle give up and just be happy with the idea that Lucia sorta likes her and has come within inches of touching noses with her? Lucia doesn’t hiss half as much (only when Belle tries too hard or barges in when Lucia is getting the affection—see, told you she was needy) and doesn’t have back-mauling claws like Princess does. Lucia is sweet; Princess is . . . I’m sorry to say . . . a little brat. Even when she gets cut down to size as she did in the laundry room, she still cops an attitude around the tender newcomer.

It reminded me of the times in sixth grade when I tried very hard to gain acceptance from the “cool group” in my class even though half those girls were snots. Then there was the time in high school dance class when a group of girls snubbed me for NOT snubbing someone else and I still wanted them as friends (again, because I considered them cool, even though, when I think about it now, they weren’t really, only good at making people think they were). And then there was the time when . . . Well, maybe I better stop. This is enough proof that I have a pretty pathetic background when it comes to one-sided friendships.

I almost want to say, “Belle, Honey, you deserve so much better. Give it up.” I’m sure she’ll continue to learn the hard way, as I did. But she is only a dog and I’m an adult human being who knows better. Watching Belle is a good reminder to take the precious friendships that God has sent me instead of attempting to hang on to something that is one-sided, or even damaging. Thankfully, there is nobody like that in my life now, but I’ve had more than my share. Praise God for learning experiences that showed me, “Don’t bother with those that hiss and arch there backs and claw their way over you. You deserve better!”

And so do you! How do your friendships and choices in who you try to get closer to reflect this?

Your Friend,
Jeanette