It's awesome to be able to write books. It's awesome (and challenging) to travel and speak to teens and families. It's very cool to work on my website and talk to teens and listen and share advice (http://realteenfaith.com). But before I do any of that, before I AM any of that, I'm His first. Coz none of it would make a difference if it wasn't based upon my one-on-one time with God.
I'm not trying to be superspiritual. I just want to know God. I don't want my writing to be hype or marketed around my name or a brand and forget who God is and what he wants to do with my life. I want a burning heart for God, a passion for my faith, and I don't want to ever forget just how amazing it is to be able to say, "I'm His".
When I was a teen I didn't believe in God. I thought it was just for people who lived in nice, comfy homes where the parents drove them to church each week. I didn't think that God showed up at homes where it was chaotic and you didn't understand why your parents couldn't get it together. So when my friend invited me to church, I passed--over and over until I finally realized she wasn't going to quit asking. So I went so I could get her off my back.
What I didn't expect was the feelings stirring deep inside of me as I sat in the church. A mixture of feelings -- anger, hope, confusion, hope. Was it possible that God did exist? "No way!" I reasoned.
But something inside of me still questioned, so I silently debated with the God of the universe. "Don't believe in you, don't think you are real, and if you are I'm mad at you because life hasn't been fair, but if you are real, I want to know. . .".
I expected nothing and received everything as God pushed past the hard parts of my heart to let me know that he was real and that he loved me.
I've been running after him ever since. It's why I work with teens. It's why I write. It's why I speak. It's why I hang out with him every morning, checking out his word, talking to him about life and the people who don't know him yet, and what's up in our world.
Well back to writing for today. I've promised myself I'll write a minimum of 1,000 good words a day. I just signed two contracts last week and I need to write, write, write about cool stuff like faith and God and knowing him.
Suzie Eller (T. Suzanne)