Sunday, February 19, 2006

Something kinda weird about me...

I sat and watched a DVD movie with my hubby last night. It was a decent enough movie - but I wasn't prepared for something to strike me the way it did.

In the movie, the younger sister discovers she has a grandmother that she's never met, then flies down to Miami to meet her.

The strange thing is, I have a grandmother I've never met as well.

I don't think about it very much. I never even knew she existed until several years ago partially because I didn't know my dad was adopted until I was in college. He just never mentioned it. Then when I got married, he suddenly decided to hire someone to find his biological family. The agency found them and my dad met them, he even found out he has some half siblings.

His father had died years before, but for some reason, my sister and I were never introduced to the grandmother we never knew we had.

Maybe she didn't want to meet us. I'm not sure.

My family has serious communication issues sometimes and the subject just never came up after he initially met them. Maybe it was painful for my dad to face (or for his mother to face) or perhaps he felt rejected all over again. Whatever it was, we never met her and now my dad is gone.

I would be the one that would have to pursue it if I'm ever to find anything out.

Sometimes the unknown is a safer reality to live in. But today, I'm wondering who this woman is. Does she ever think about me?

Is it a door that should be opened? Or one that should remain closed?

I'm probably not the only person who ever dreamed about finding out that I was really adopted and that my real parents were so much nicer than the ones I had (i.e. - would never ground me or give me an early curfew or embarrass me in front of my friends).

But finding out that my dad was adopted was a huge shock to me - because my parents just never mentioned it! How do you not mention something like that? And after he finds his biological mother, it still is a mystery to me who my biological grandmother really is.

So what would YOU do? Would you try to find out? Or would you leave it alone?

It's an interesting dilemma don't ya think?


Spatula said...

Why don't you try to contact her? Feel out the situation and, if both sides look agreeable, go for it. My 3 grandmothers have all left marks on my personality. I don't know what I would do without their support and friendship in my life. I would go meet her. Life is too short to lose this opportunity.

Shannon Kubiak Primicerio said...

My mother-in-law recently went and found her birth mother, and although they never really established a relationship like a "normal" mother and daughter have, it brought her a sense of closure she never knew she needed. Maybe finding your grandma would bring you some closure (or at least answers to your questions) too.

Anonymous said...

PRAY! I know you probably have been doing this, but if not, ask Jesus to help you through this startling and somewhat crazy dillema. I will also be praying for you.