Saturday, November 17, 2007

The Fear Monster

If I had to say the ONE thing in my life that's caused me the most trouble, it's FEAR.
Lately, I've had some scary things happen. Well, for as long as I can remember, I've had scary things happen. But recently, some of the scary stuff has been with my health, and some with things family members are going through. I had some medical tests done last week. I just had to blog about this because it was soooooooooooooo huge for me.
A couple of weeks ago I told God, "I'm sick and tired of being afraid. I want to change. For good. Please help me." And He is!
Right before being put to sleep this Wednesday, I started to have some scary thoughts try to sneak back in. Then I started to pray. It was a simple prayer--so simple a two-year-old could pray it. In my mind I said, Help me, Jesus. Help me, Jesus. I said it over and over. And guess what? The scary thoughts left me alone!
One of my daughters has been going through a hard time. She's trying to start over in life. She called me very upset close to midnight last night. The scary feelings came to me. The What If Monster.
I thought, now you won't be able to go to sleep. Guess what I did? I said, "We don't have to live in fear. There's another way. The Bible tells us that perfect LOVE casts out all fear. It tells us to cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us." Then I told her to ask God to help her. And I went straight to sleep. :-)
Day-by-day I'm finally, oh finally, beginning to change. I don't have to be the Scared Lady anymore. There's another way to live. To get to this new place, I think I had to go through some scary things. I had to get desperate and ready to be different. I had to get tired of doing life my way.
I had to tell you this Saturday morning that if your past includes gigantic fear like mine, with God's help (and sometimes this means talking to other people about it and being open) there's hope.
Moment-by-moment now I'm saying, "Help me, Jesus."
And He comes to me. He runs to me. He's never too busy. Actually, I'm thinking He's been here the whole time but like a gentleman, He's been waiting on me to say, "Help."
Love to you all. Especially anybody who understands this fear post.


Dionna said...

I've been working through my fear too - and like you, have been talking to God and telling Him that I don't want to be afraid of everything, anymore. It does take time - faith - and trust, but I'm getting there.

Anonymous said...

Understand?! OHMIGOODNESS, that's precisely the way I've been living lately!

Coming to Him with my fears is life-changing. Recently, I had to have an MRI because of my health problems.

I'm terrified of tight spaces and the only way I made it through without seriously freaking out, was to keep praying. And to remember that He's always with me. Even in a cramped little MRI machine. :-)


Julie Garmon said...

Amen, Dionna. I'm so glad you get this post. It's been a lifetime struggle for me, but I'm finally getting stronger. What brings me strength is being honest with my feelings, not stuffing things, and saying, "Help me, Jesus."

Just said a prayer for you.

Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving!!


Julie Garmon said...

Hey Debbie,

So, you had the MRI? And you made it!! I'm telling you, the "Help me, Jesus, help me, Jesus," is amazing.

I've had so many years of automatically slipping into fear, but I'm changing. Slowly, but it's coming. Sounds like you are too.

Happy After Thanksgiving... I'm just now seeing your post.