Thursday, February 19, 2009


Today my friend Jennifer and I went to lunch and saw a movie together (Confessions of a Shopaholic—a very fun and very girlie movie). It had been ages since we hung out. We tried over the summer but couldn’t seem to work it in between trips to the hospital. At Christmas, my appendix came between us. But this time we were determined!

Jennifer and I have been friends since we were three years old so we have quite a history to look back on. Some of it is pretty embarrassing, like the when we became so obsessed with Little House on the Prairie that we renamed ourselves Mary and Laura. We had a moment of rebellion together (going to an R-rated movie when we weren’t 17 yet. We aren't proud of this and I'm not suggesting that you see rated-R films. But it didn't feel like a rebel moment to us at the time. If I name the movie I’ll risk dating myself). We went through the awful junior high years, collected lip gloss, and have plenty of bad hairstyles to hold over one another’s heads. As adults we were in one another’s weddings and Jennifer became an honorary aunt to my boys. All this and we didn’t even live in the same town! My family moved when I was eight so from that point on we had a long-distance relationship.

I’m sure it helped that our parents kept in touch. But as adults it has been up to us. So how did (or do) we make it work?

· We aren’t possessive: we couldn’t afford to be, considering that we went to different schools and only saw each other a couple of times a year. This forced us to let each other have other friends and trust that we would always have a special place in the other’s life.
· We have thing in common but enjoy our differences: Jennifer is a dietitian and doesn’t have kids (Her baby is a beautiful German shepherd named Lars). I’m a writer, have kids, and am more of a cat person. She’s more serious and I’m . . . well . . . not. But we both sing, love to read, and have similar taste in movies. I see us as balancing each other out.
· We both make an effort: We e-mail, call, and make a point of celebrating birthdays and Christmas together, even if our “Christmas” happens in February. If we let too much time go by between phone calls or e-mails, the first one to notice checks on the other. The funny thing is that we are often on the same page. Just when I think, I better e-mail Jennifer; I get a call from her.

It takes work to make a friendship last, but Jennifer and I are proof that it can last a
Who is your best friend? How do you make your friendship last? I’d love to hear your stories!


Stefania said...

As always, great post!

I'm a freshman in college and keep in touch with one of my best friends from high school by being postcard penpals! It's so fun to get done with a hectic day and find a postcard from her in my mailbox. We also keep in touch with facebook, but seeing each other's handwriting (and doodles!) is important I think. Also, since we studied Italian together, we write to each other in both languages (often making up words :) ) since we can't study it together anymore.

We're planning to keep them forever to have a collection and record of our college days. For the time, I have them all up on my wall right next to my desk to think of her often!

Deb said...

Hmm...I'm guessing it was the then hot now couch jumping Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Am I close? don't have to tell anyone else. : )


Jeanette Hanscome said...

Well, Deb, you did get the right decade. The movie was Flashdance. Mom wouldn't let me see Risky Business :(. I was only allowed to see movies featuring suggestive dance moves performed by women.


Love the penpal postcard idea! How creative! There is nothing better than real mail. Thanks for sharing your story.

Lizana Trestant said...

My best friend lives in a different city than I do and we see each other only on Sundays at church and AWANA meetings. But sometimes we send each other letters and call each other, and we've been best friends since we first met.