Today my friend Jennifer and I went to lunch and saw a movie together (Confessions of a Shopaholic—a very fun and very girlie movie). It had been ages since we hung out. We tried over the summer but couldn’t seem to work it in between trips to the hospital. At Christmas, my appendix came between us. But this time we were determined!
Jennifer and I have been friends since we were three years old so we have quite a history to look back on. Some of it is pretty embarrassing, like the when we became so obsessed with Little House on the Prairie that we renamed ourselves Mary and Laura. We had a moment of rebellion together (going to an R-rated movie when we weren’t 17 yet. We aren't proud of this and I'm not suggesting that you see rated-R films. But it didn't feel like a rebel moment to us at the time. If I name the movie I’ll risk dating myself). We went through the awful junior high years, collected lip gloss, and have plenty of bad hairstyles to hold over one another’s heads. As adults we were in one another’s weddings and Jennifer became an honorary aunt to my boys. All this and we didn’t even live in the same town! My family moved when I was eight so from that point on we had a long-distance relationship.
I’m sure it helped that our parents kept in touch. But as adults it has been up to us. So how did (or do) we make it work?
· We aren’t possessive: we couldn’t afford to be, considering that we went to different schools and only saw each other a couple of times a year. This forced us to let each other have other friends and trust that we would always have a special place in the other’s life.
· We have thing in common but enjoy our differences: Jennifer is a dietitian and doesn’t have kids (Her baby is a beautiful German shepherd named Lars). I’m a writer, have kids, and am more of a cat person. She’s more serious and I’m . . . well . . . not. But we both sing, love to read, and have similar taste in movies. I see us as balancing each other out.
· We both make an effort: We e-mail, call, and make a point of celebrating birthdays and Christmas together, even if our “Christmas” happens in February. If we let too much time go by between phone calls or e-mails, the first one to notice checks on the other. The funny thing is that we are often on the same page. Just when I think, I better e-mail Jennifer; I get a call from her.
It takes work to make a friendship last, but Jennifer and I are proof that it can last a
Who is your best friend? How do you make your friendship last? I’d love to hear your stories!