Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Guys are SO different

I have daughters in their twenties so I know a little bit about teenage girls. But now I have this seventeen-year-old son. He likes to fish, ride four-wheelers, hunt, play baseball, and he's just started riding horses. I don't do any of these activities. But one thing he for sure doesn't like to do is chat with his mom.

He's so different than his sisters.

My daughters talked a lot. They still do. They call me during the day. We talk about big things and we talk about teensy things like what color t-shirt to buy. When my girls were/are upset sometimes they'll cry. Or rant and rave. Even when they were 14 15, 16, if I'd said, "Do you want to go to Starbucks? We can talk," they'd have beat me to the car.

But guys aren't like that---at least my son isn't. That would be the LAST thing he'd want to do is spill his guts over coffee time with me. And if something is bothering him, he doesn't tell me.

The other day I had this idea. I'd heard that to connect with your teenage son you have to do something fun together. So, I tried it. We played pool in the basement. No, he didn't tell me his deep thoughts and ponderings, but yes, he smiled and we joked with each other.

Anybody know anything about relating to teenage guys? The differences in communication with guys and girls?



Debboe said...

I live with three younger sisters and we tend to communicate more in grunts than anything else.

My mom keeps insisting that we're not boys and at some point during that lecture one of my younger sisters will pipe up with, "Wait a second! We're not?!"

It's kind of funny. Having no brothers actually makes act more like boys.

Not totally related to the conversation but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway,


Anita J. said...

I grew up with a gaggle of boys! It's true about doing activities with them to talk with them. It also helps to keep your sentences short. Try your best to sound aloof, like you'll be alright with or without the conversation. Guys feel pressured when talky females start conversing with them, so the less you sound like you're hanging on the conversation, the more you'll get to chat.

Don't start talking right away, and don't forget and start talking like he's a girl. Control yourself! :) Try to be the one to change the subject if you feel him start to pull away. These are 'tricks' that work with the teenage boys who hang out around here. Hope they help!

Julie Garmon said...

What great advice, y'all. Guys are sooooooooo different. I'm having to be the opposite of myself to be a boy's mom.

Yes, he does grunt. I have to say, "What'd you say?" quite a bit. And short sentences--I'll work on this.

Thanks so much.

Anonymous said...

Anita: Know any more 'tricks'? It seems like I never can communicate with guys the right way, and we never get a conversation in that's worth talking about- unless it's a comedic conversation.