Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Productive Waiting

When I was seventeen I had a list three pages long of things I wanted in a future husband. I dreamed about him all day, and all night, and I primped before I went anywhere. You know, just in case I might meet him as I sampled a chicken wing at Costco or accidentally brushed his hand if we both reached for the same pair of scissors in craft class where we might be helping at VBS.

Some of the things I listed were:
  • Enjoys spending time with children.
  • Intelligent, enjoys learning.
  • Is always doing something to grow his relationship with the Lord.
  • Knows why he believes what he believes.
  • Self-motivated.
  • Good leader.
And then I waited. And waited. And waited. :-) It's not like I made that list and my future husband just showed up. I had a lot of time to sit and think about the things I'd written down. And to be honest with you, I wasted a lot of time. I mean, I'd pine for my future husband and pray for him and write letters to him. None of those things were bad things, really...but I could have been working on myself while I was doing all those things.

A few weeks ago, Michael Hyatt wrote about how to become your spouse's best friend, and therefore make your relationship stronger. I read it, and took notes.  And then I thought...this could really apply to all my friends who aren't married, too. You might not know who your spouse is...yet. But that doesn't mean you can't do anything to make your future relationship all it can be now!

Michael's advice is this: Make a list of all the things you like in a best friend. (Easy enough, right? Write down all the things you want in your spouse.) Then take your list and become the person you've written down. And keep growing and becoming better with every day.

Sure, some of the things won't exactly apply (if you write down "doesn't have facial hair" like I did...well, you don't have to worry too much about not growing a goatee over the next few years...also, you'll see in the picture below facial hair kind of became a nonissue...haha). But if you want your future husband to be a man of integrity, work hard now to do the right thing in all circumstances as a woman of integrity. If you want your husband to be a man who loves the Lord above everything else in his life, do everything you can to put God first in your own life. If you want your husband to manage his money well, use what you have wisely and try to stay out of debt.

You might be waiting for your man right now, but that doesn't mean you can just sit back and do nothing. Use your time waiting to grow and become the woman he's looking for!

PS: Here's a picture of me and the guy I waited for!

Ashley Mays is the former Editorial Assistant for Brio and Brio & Beyond magazines and currently writes her own fiction for teens. She enjoys rock climbing, people watching in airports, and expanding her shoe collection. Ashley lives with her husband in Colorado. No, they don't ski. Learn more about Ashley on facebook or on her website:


Trinka said...

Aww, you two are just so cute! I'll be applying MY "Future Husband List" to myself :)

f9233468-80de-11e0-81b6-000f20980440 said...

Thanks SOOO much for sharing that ASH! I think I spend too much time doing nothing while I am waiting, when I definitely could be becoming the woman that God..and eventually my future husband would want me to be.

Nicole @Project Inspired said...

Love this idea! It's so important for us girls to love ourselves and God before we marry. Making my list now too!

Sierra said...

Great post!I had heard some "do something while your waiting and don't waste your time while your single" stuff and all that but this is a whole new look at it! Thanks so much! Sierra
Keep Growing Beautiful♥ (Cause You Are!)

Laura J said...

Great idea!
I recently read "Praying for your Future Husband" and was so inspired. I thought it was for young girls, but I felt it spoke to me as a 31-year-old.