Sunday, November 18, 2012


I’m not going to color this pretty: Betrayal hurts more than almost anything (take it from the woman who’s recently given birth).

Have you had it happen to you (betrayal, not birth ;))? You thought you could trust him? He stepped into your life like a perfectly timed dance, at just the right moment…

...but when the music ended, he walked away?

Or better yet…

...He bowed, just after pulling the knife out your upper thigh?

(This is not an anti-man column. Girls can be even more vicious.)

So… when the pain goes deep, where do we run? When the person we trust the most wounds us the most, where can we go?

Here are a few things I’m continuing to learn for myself:

-    Accept what I’m feeling. Don’t push it down or try to ignore it.
-    Talk with someone who’s “safe” – not to gossip, but to process those feelings.
-    Write about it. Journal what’s happening.
-    Ask Jesus to meet me in the pain-to give me a picture, a verse, or a word that will start the healing process.
- Confront the person. Put on my big girl panties and try to understand where they're coming from.
-    Allow some space. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean trust. I don’t have to let unsafe people have full access to my life.

Betrayal hurts, but I don’t have to feel it alone. God Himself was betrayed with a kiss… did it not hurt Him even more to know what was coming?

Q4U: What do you do when the pain runs deep?

Bekah Hamrick Martin writes about life, love, and relationships at her Bare Naked Blog, and in her book, The Bare Naked Truth: Dating, Waiting, and God's Purity Plan.


sarah said...

i run to my room, grab my oversized pillow pet and cry till i can cry no more. then i either clean up and act like nothing happened, or just stay there all night.

Anonymous said...

I use to "run" emotionally and push it down so that I could appear to be Mr. Tough Girl (if that makes sense, lol). However, recently God revealed to me that all my pains of neglect, betrayal, abandonment, and rejection were right where I left them waiting for me to deal with them.

Now, I actually face the problem, feel the pain, and ask God to either remove it or be with me as I work through it :-)

Option 1 felt better but option 2 renders true healing & deliverance!