What Am I So Nervous About?

Today, I feel like this guy. Okay, so I'm not bald or nearly this round, and I'm not frowning, but I do feel like a giant cliche butterfly is flitting around in my stomach. What are you so nervous about, you might want to know. Can I pray for you?

Fine, I'll tell you, but you need to promise not to laugh.

Deep breath. Let it out. One more. There you go. Just say it. 

I'm going to Girls Night Out this evening---my first major women's event at a new church. 

So, you're probably saying to yourself. I fail to see the fear factor here. Girls Night Out sounds like fun, and I thought you were making friends at your new church. 

Told you it was silly. I am actually excited about it, and I am going with a great friend who is taking me to pre-event get-together so I can meet even more friends. But this morning I went into the first-day-of-high-school panic mode.  You probably know the drill:

What if no one talks to me except the friend who brought me?
What if I say something stupid?
I have nothing to wear!

Back in Reno, I rarely missed a social event at church. But I also knew everyone and what to expect once I arrived. I was often leading worship, performing in a skit or leading a mixer, or contributing in some other way. Back in Reno, I went to events like this with a purpose, a "place."

But as I let my sister paint my toenails and help me choose an outfit (As it turned out, I did have something to wear, and it's pretty cute too.), I reminded myself that this is part of the process of starting over in a new home, and why I signed up for Girls Night Out in the first place. As I learned when I accepted my cousin/friend's invitation to Bible study a couple months ago, making friends and getting to the place where I feel at ease means putting myself out there. It means attending events as a stranger at first. It means letting people get to know me and making an effort to get to know them. It means walking out the door even when the butterflies feel like a swarm of bats and focusing on how fun the evening is going to be and how glad I will be for going. Starting over means remembering that socializing won't always feel like the first day at a new school. I have plenty of memories from my life in Reno to prove it.

When have you felt like this? How easy or difficult is it for you to meet new people or feel confident in a new environment? What are you nervous about today?       

A good foundation

Behind every queen is a prime minister. And behind every Victorian lady is … a bustle. Many of you know I'm a costumer, so Camy T. suggested I spend a couple of blog entries talking about sewing. With a number of steampunk events coming up this summer, and to get into the spirit of the steampunk YA novel I'm working on, I wanted to make a gown. However, you need a good foundation for clothes from the Victorian age, because they won’t hang properly otherwise. So the thing to do is to start with a corset (Period Corsets has good ones) and a bustle petticoat.

I got my petticoat pattern from Truly Victorian (pictured).

Then it was off to the fabric store for white cotton sheeting. I got 100% cotton, but girls, think about ironing 27 feet of ruffles. Not gonna happen. So the next time I make this up, I’ll use a 65/35 poly/cotton blend.

Lay out the pattern, cut out and mark the pieces, and you have a pile-o-stuff on your table.

The pieces are large and the instructions clear, so it doesn’t take long for this to go together. Even the boning channels are straightforward, and you can buy the bones--big honkin’ metal ones with plastic tips that won’t poke through your fabric--from Truly Victorian, already cut to size. I can’t tell you how much time and aggravation that saves.

Now, you’ll notice that the bones don’t look very bustle-y. That’s because we now have to put the bend in the bones. You sew strings into the seam allowance on each end of the bones, then pull them together over your, er, posterior and tie them, forming half-hoops.

Then it’s time for the ruffle overlay. Since the only person who can carry off the bony look successfully is Kate Moss, I don’t want the bones showing through my skirt. One must maintain the element of mystery, after all. So over the whole contraption goes a ruffled overlay to soften the lines of the bustle and hold the skirt off the bones a bit.

Ruffles. Oy. It took me a week to sew them--and since you lay them on top of the overlay pieces, you need to "finish" them or they’ll ravel with use. So that means sewing lace and ribbon on top of each one--meaning you sew all that acreage three times. Can you even imagine doing this in Victorian times, without a sewing machine?

But voila, the finished product is worth it--and now we have the foundation to build the rest of the costume on. More about that next time!

Shelley

Appreciate A Dragon Day!

Today is Appreciate a Dragon Day. This holiday which has gained momentum was
 instigated by yours truly.
Here’s a blurb about it:
 We are pleased to bring you news that this week on Friday, January 16, people
 around the country will be celebrating Appreciate a Dragon Day! What is this
 strange holiday, you ask?
 
 Several years ago when DragonSpell first came out, Mrs. Paul was reading a
 book about how to market a book. One of the suggestions was to register a new
 holiday. So she registered Appreciate a Dragon Day, or AADD.
 
 Appreciate a Dragon Day is all over the place! Mrs. Paul is very grateful to
 the many people and places that have given it a boost. It was not only a
 publicity ploy, but something that is dear to her heart: promoting literacy.
 
 Check out the AADD Event Pages
 http://www.donitakpaul.com/fun/aadd/index.html to get more details on this
 interesting holiday and some suggestions on how to celebrate. Some of these
 ways include making a dragon kite, a dragon cake, a dancing dragon toy,
 putting on a dragon puppet show, and many more fun ideas!
 
 We would love to hear about how YOU decide to celebrate this special day of
 dragons. Email us your AADD pictures, poems, videos, etc., and we may post
 them in the AADD Gallery!


Girls' Night Out

“I’m hosting a girls’ movie night on the 19th,” My friend Sherry told me last week. “Susan offered to pick you up. Please say you can make it.”

I thought for a second, looked at the calendar and, yay! I could give her a “Yes.”

I have no idea what we are watching and don’t really care. It’s a chance to spend an evening with my girlfriends, watching something that the guys in our lives would most likely roll their eyes at, and eating snacks that they would consider too girlie (the menu is “bring your favorite appetizer”—I’m in charge of bringing something sweet).

Face it, as much as we love our families and think guys are great, sometimes we just need to hang out with the girls. As a wife and mom of 2 boys I am constantly surrounded by testosterone, dirty socks, and bodily functions that double as entertainment (for them anyway). If I happen to have time to do my nails I usually have the dog, a cat, or my six-year-old hovering at my side. If I sneak in a chick flick I have nobody to appreciate it with me. So I have been looking forward to tonight all week long!

When is the last time that you had a girls’ night? Why not plan one during Christmas break? Watch a movie, paint each other’s nails, listen to music, or do whatever spells fun for you. To make it even more enjoyable, how about adding the following rules:

· No gossiping about people who aren’t there.
· No putting others or yourself down.
· Ban all discussion about the calorie, fat or sugar content of the snacks. If you’re health conscious bring your own food and let everyone else enjoy their junk in peace without slipping in any “do you know what you’re really eating” remarks.
· Eliminate the words “fat,” “diet,” and “weight” from all conversation.
· If one of you is going through a difficult time, has a problem to deal with, or is just having a bad day take a few minutes to make sure she is okay, pray for her, then agree to talk about anything BUT that topic for the rest of the get-together. Sometimes the best thing we can do it set our problems aside for awhile and have fun.

So that’ll make for a pretty quiet night (ha ha). Seriously, see how much fun you can have when you keep the night upbeat. I look forward to hearing your stories. Please leave a comment if you use this idea.

Have a fun-filled break and a glorious Christmas!

Jeanette

It's about having Fun

This is my son Nathan (aka Nate the Great) at his first T-ball game. He loves everything about the sport from the gear to running the bases to the snacks afterward. When he makes that final sprint from 3rd base to home plate he even waves at the crowd.

I’m not much of a sports fan but I must confess, watching a bunch of 5-and-6-year-olds play T-ball is a blast. They each get a chance at bat, nobody keeps score, and the parents cheer for every player, including those on the opposite team. If somebody makes a mistake we all laugh it off and applaud anyway. Only about half the kids know what they’re doing, which is what makes the game so fun to watch. This morning, my husband’s hat blew off (he is an assistant coach) and Nathan, along with about half a dozen other kids, stopped mid-play to chase it down the field and catch it for him.

We have a great picture of Nate with one mit-covered hand out, ready to catch a fly ball and the other hand in his mouth wiggling a loose tooth. And you should see these pint-sized players in catcher’s gear. It’s a wonder they can walk without falling over.

I love that the boys high five players from the other team on the way around the bases, or talk while they wait for the next batter to hit. At their age they are first and foremost friends. Instead of “We’re playing the Yankee’s tonight. I hate that team” it’s “We’re playing the Yankee’s. That’s Zack’s team. Cool!” They are out there to have a good time, see their friends, and have a juice box and packaged doughnuts afterward.

Why can’t activities stay this way—pure enjoyment, no rivalry, pressure, or competition? At the end of a game, Nathan is jazzed and chattering on.

“Did you see me playing catcher?”

“Did you see how far I hit?”

“Do we have another game tomorrow?”

I dread the day when he drags his feet to the car because he missed a pitch or stuck out. For now I plan to enjoy watching him love the game as he should. I am also using his games as reminders to enjoy life more instead of putting so much pressure on myself.

Think of an activity that used to be fun until it became competitive or pressure-filled. What can you do to rediscover the excitement? If you need a little inspiration, go watch a T-ball game.

I think I’m craving a juice box and packaged doughnut.

We Still Had Fun!

Last week my parents came to town to celebrate my oldest son’s birthday. We had a great time shopping for a super cool gift from Grandma and Grandpa, hanging out in their hotel room, and playing at a local pumpkin patch. All of our plans for their visit fell into place beautifully, right down to the whether.

Then Dad got bit by a dog.

No, you didn’t read that incorrectly. We were all getting ready to go out to dinner and Dad ventured down to the lobby. A vicious Scottish terrier took advantage of his owner being entranced with a call on her cell phone, snapped his leash, lunged toward Dad, and bit him on the leg. Thankfully Dad wasn’t seriously hurt, just REALLY mad. But he did have to report the bite, go to the ER to have it checked, get a tetanus shot since he hadn’t had one in decades (not fun), and fill a prescription, which pretty much blew our dinner plans.

Of course we were disappointed but you know what? We still had a fun night. We ate ribs and chicken wings from the deli, watched a silly movie, talked about what should happen to dogs that bite and why animals should not be allowed in hotels, and called both my sisters so Dad could retell his dramatic story. I expected Christian to feel jilted but he didn’t seem to mind. It gave him time to play the game he’d bought with some birthday money. Nathan had another chance to color with Grandma and sucker her into a few more rounds of Mancala (he is totally addicted to the game). Dad kept apologizing for putting a damper on the evening but we assured him, “Actually, it’s kind of nice to hang out. Besides, it’s not your fault. It’s that horrible dog’s fault!” Of course, part of our good attitude probably had to do with the knowledge that things could have been far worse! We were more concerned with him then dinner.

This reminded all of us that we never really know what a casual stroll out the door will bring. Plans can change in a split second. I can’t say that I always respond as I did last week. I can remember plenty of times when I pouted over an unforeseen illness, car trouble, or other inconvenience that kept me from doing what I’d been looking forward to. But life is much more enjoyable when I respond as we all did to Dad’s surprise attack—to thank God that it wasn’t a tragedy, find a plan B, and have a good time anyway.

Go Out and Play

This summer I’ve had a few opportunities to do something that I’ve missed out on for a long time—play. For a variety of reasons I think I’d forgotten how. I highly recommend it. Here are some fun discoveries that I made when I went out to play this summer.

1) Bubbles and glow sticks are a great alternative to fire works – They banned fireworks in our area years ago but this year the fire danger meant that, for 4th of July, we couldn’t even find party poppers or those cool snappers that you throw on the ground. So we opted for glow sticks and bubbles. While dividing the stuff equally between my kids I suddenly found myself holding one glow stick back and asking my oldest, “Can I have one?” After a token eye-roll/smirk he said yes. With a blue glowing bracelet I grabbed a bottle of grape bubbles and proceeded to blow until my lungs gave out. I even sent a few through a hole in our fence to our neighbors’ barking dogs. It was the best 4th ever!

2) Joining in the fun at Jump Man Jump is better than hanging back and watching the kids play – For those of you who aren’t aware, Jump Man Jump is a party place full of jump houses, bouncy slides, and other air-pumped activities. When I heard my friend Jane shriek with delight as she flew down the biggest slide I simply couldn’t resist. Those slides are a blast!

3) Tennis for the Blind – I probably don’t need to clarify that I am not an athlete. I couldn’t even get the hang of beep ball when my low vision specialist tried to teach me the skill. Well, a few weeks ago we visited my parents and Dad, my sister Kristy and I took the kids to a tennis court to whack a ball around. I decided to take a few swings. I discovered that I have a wicked serve. More than that, when I really listen and concentrate I can actually hit the ball when it’s served to me. So to those of you who passed me up when it came time to choose sports teams in 5th grade: you missed out.

4) Squirt gun fight! – We’ve had temperatures in the upper ‘90s and well into the 100s all summer so when Nathan’s squirt gun broke it was a major tragedy. Christian assured me that he didn’t need one (at 16 he’s a bit too cool for squirt guns) but I had a feeling he might change his mind. I bought him one. Since he wasn’t home I kinda “borrowed” it while Nathan was breaking his in. When it’s 100+ outside a mom can’t be responsible for her actions. In case you didn’t know, squirt guns are awesome!

5) Wading pools aren’t for preschoolers only – That same day I took a dip in Nathan’s wading pool. Hey, I needed to reload my squirt gun and it was closer than the hose.

I hope these provide some ideas for the next time you get bored this summer.

Go play!
Jeanette