Dreaming of Mr. Right

It’s easy to spot Mr. Right in the movies or in a good novel. He’s the one who shows up out of nowhere, casts a handsome smile, and sweeps little Miss Lonely off her feet. There are struggles to be sure. There may be moments when Mr. Right seems long gone, but if the movie/book is one of those happily-ever-after stories Him and Her will end up realizing their love and committing themselves to each other for life. Riding off in the sunset with Mr. Right is the correct ending for every good story.

Yet there is a time in all of our lives when we doubt there is a Mr. Right for us. Those dumb boys at school aren’t nearly as cute, or smart, or kind as the heroes on television, but sometimes that doesn’t seem to matter very much because we’re not necessarily Cinderella or even Snow White.

At night, as we lay in bed drifting off in sleep we may dream about our future, about our wedding day and our life, our career and our kids. But once we’re at school, or work, those thoughts seem like fading dreams. Our focus turns to reality—to today—and we forget to plan, or pray for, all those tomorrows that are hanging in the future with bright expectations.

We don’t think about Mr. Right at school. Or when we’re with our friends. We don’t consider our future wedding day and all the marriage days to follow. Instead we look around and see that all our friends are dating and we want to keep up. We watch the teen movies and desire some of that romance that we see on the big screen. We feel empty inside, incomplete, and we want loved. Need love. Sure our parents, and siblings, and maybe even friends from church or school love us, but it’s not the same. We want to experience those giddy feelings and that flutter of butterflies in our stomachs … you may feel that way, too.

So then comes the day when that guy that sits three seats in front of you in Chemistry asks you out you quickly agree. He’s just average looking, and he doesn’t go to church. He mostly hangs around his friends and plays video games or football on the front lawn after school. He’s not someone you can really imagine spending your life with, but he’s not that bad and he likes you. And you don’t want to miss the chance. After all you do want to go to the prom and you do want to experience a kiss. And so those hopes that you had when you were drifting off to sleep are forgotten. Mr. Right is just a fantasy and you live for the here and now. After all, there is no guarantee for a good future, right?

Then again, maybe there is something you can do. Maybe there is something you can do with your friends.

It’s a place to start. And it starts on your knees. Before you date. Before you give your heart PRAY. Pray for God to guide you. Pray for His will. Seek HIS peace.

And then, if you don’t have peace that this guy is God’s good, perfect will for you … at this time … for your heart.

Run. Run away from temptation. Run to God.

*Image c/o stock.xchng

How to Pray for Your Future Husband: Understanding

I started praying for my future husband when I was 17 years old and pregnant with my son. I wanted someone who could love both me and my child. I wanted someone who loved God. God brought me an amazing man. John and I have been married for 23 years now. We had two more biological children, and we've adopted three more . . . making that six kids total! God has done more than I'd ever hoped or imagined.

My friend Robin Gunn and I wrote Praying for Your Future Husband a few years ago. The fun part is getting photos from some of the young women who prayed—wedding photos!

Of course there are women who are still praying and waiting, and we've gotten letters from them, too. They tell us they are drawing closer to God as they wait . . . and that is exactly what we hoped for!

In the moment, though, it's hard to understand the wait. It may be hard for your future husband to understand, too.

Here are 6 ways to pray for understanding.

Pray for Understanding for Your Future Husband.

1. Pray God's Word will flood his heart.
2. Pray your future husband will seek God and try to understand what God is doing in His life.
3. Pray he has a tender heart that will be understanding of your past mistakes.
4. Pray you will be understanding of his.
5. Pray that if he has his heart broken, he will be surrounded by good friends who will support him during the healing process.
6. Pray that in each of his relationships, he will develop an understanding heart and will always believe God has a different and better plan.

When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart. —John Bunyan

Seeking the God who Proves to be Good

Read the following excerpt from the book I co-wrote with Robin Jones Gunn (pictured below goofing off with me) called Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, and see if you know anyone like this:

“All it took was that one kiss after the archery lesson, and I readily agreed to be Steven’s girlfriend. We spent a lot of time together. We hiked in the hills behind our houses. We swung on the swings at the park. At night I would sneak out of my house to go to his. He would sneak out too, and we would sit on the grass in the warm summer night and watch the moon. And we always kissed.

When Steven wanted to go further than kissing, it only made sense. That’s how things worked, right? I thought about the movies I had watched. The characters in them fell in love just like me, and then they slept together. Deep down I knew it wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want him to find another girlfriend. I was sure if I gave Steven everything he wanted, we would stay together forever. Since I was so sure that I loved him and he loved me, I willingly gave myself to him.

But before the summer was over, Steven gave me some awful news. ‘My family is moving away.’”

Lamentations 3:25-29 in The Message says, “God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The ‘worst’ is never the worst.”

If you know a young woman who is pursuing a Steven in her life, take the time to write out Lamentations 3:25-29 for her. Take her out for coffee, give her the verse, and pray with her. Make her feel cherished and loved, not only by you, but by the One who created her.

I was the woman in Lamentations who diligently sought, but I sought the wrong thing. I was seeking after was a worldly, impatient love. I wasn’t seeking the never-ending, no-strings-attached love from my heavenly Father. But God proved to be good to me even though I didn’t deserve it. And He is continuing to prove Himself good to me every day.

Encourage the young woman to pursue the only One who continually proves Himself good. Let her know that He can turn those who are diligently seeking what is wrong (as I once was) into young women who diligently seek His good and perfect will.

"What type of job are you going to pursue?"

When I was twelve years old I had a traumatic experience with my bicycle. I was headed home and on the handle bars I carried two large, heavy sacks. Part of the ride home took me down a long, steep hill. I didn't think anything of it as I headed down ... but soon I found myself flying through the air and landing on the asphalt with a thud. Ouch! I was scraped up all over. What was the culprit of my accident? Books. I'd been to the library and I'd checked out as many as I could carry home. The books had been heavier than me, obviously. I had skinned knees and elbows to prove it.

Looking back, I didn't grow up in a reading home, yet in 6th grade we moved within a few miles of the library. Once I started reading I couldn't stop. I especially liked Little House on the Prairie books and Nancy Drew novels.

Fast-forward twenty-five years, and I'm a multi-published author. My love of books has become my career. I love what I do, mostly because I've loved books for so long. My job is a natural outpouring of who God created me to be.

In your teen years a question you're often asked is, "What type of job are you going to pursue?" Maybe you have an answer. Maybe you have no idea!

My encouragement to you is to think back to what you've always loved. Is it art? Music? Animals? Playing school? Cooking? God has created each of us with unique gifts and talents. We can usually "see" these in our youth. We know what we like without worrying about colleges or "success" in life.

After you take time to consider what you love most, pray about how you can use your God-given talents to impact the world. God places these things inside of you for a reason. He has a plan that will impact people and will bring joy to your heart as you work. Sometimes the best way to discover what those gifts are is to look back and remember what you first loved. What you spent your childhood enjoying is a good indicator of what you'd love spend your life pursuing.

Attention Seniors

This is my daughter Jamie and my son Thomas. Daughter Katie's not in this picture.

Anybody a high school senior and feeling a bit anxious about the future? Where to go to college?Who your roommate will be? What to major in? Have you applied to several and not heard back? Have you visited any campuses and still don't know what to do? Or, if you're not going the college route do you know what you'd like to do after high school? Do you know what path you're going to follow? Have you decided what you love to do? Your areas of giftedness?

Jamie is 28, Katie is 25, and Thomas is 18. When we took Katie to visit a college, do you know what scared her? The tour guides were wearing navy blue jackets. She said, "I'm not smart enough to wear a jacket like that." Oh, the fear that creeps in.

Thomas is filling out college applications and he'd love to play baseball in college. He doesn't know what he wants to major in (well, he hasn't shared it with his mother if he does). Almost daily he'll say, "Did I hear from any colleges today? Did you get anything in the mail?"

Here's what I can say as a mother of three--two on the other side of the "what will I do with my future" decision. It's okay if you don't have it all figured out right now. It's okay to be confused. It's okay if you're afraid of the "blue jackets." God will be with you through each fear and decision if you ask Him to help you.

Jamie and Katie ended up graduating from the same college one day apart. I'd have never predicted that. They began as freshmen in two separate colleges--neither graduating from that initial school.

There will probably be some surprises coming your way over the next few years. As much as we want to, we can't figure everything out ahead of time.

I prayed really hard when the girls were seniors--prayed they'd find God's perfect plan for their lives. I prayed they'd have wisdom as they chose a college, friends, and a career. This may sound odd, but as I'm writing in my prayer journal for Thomas, my prayers are shorter. Sometimes, I just write one word. THOMAS. I sort of smile on the inside because I know God knows his heart--just as He did Jamie's and Katie's. He holds the future. He knows the twists and turns. And when we surrender to Him, He takes our choices (even those that seem like mess ups) and works His Way.

If any seniors are in that what at I going to do after I graduate place, I'd love to add your names to my prayer journal.

"For I know the plans that I have for you, " declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

So much love,

Julie

Happy New Year

Dearest Lord,

I pray for each person here that this new year would hold new and beautiful gifts from you. That you would draw each one of us closer to your heart. That we would be quick to hear your voice and eager to follow the guidance that you give. Help us to lay aside anything that would hinder us from drawing ever closer to your heart. Help us forgive. Help us love. Help us become more like you.

Thank you Lord, that you love us completely. Let us trust you with our whole hearts.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. And you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. And I will be found by you,' declares the Lord."

(Jer. 29: 11-14a)

He listens to us. He gives us a future. He gives us hope. And he wants us to find him.

Thank you Lord.

Happy New Year