Seeking the God who Proves to be Good

Read the following excerpt from the book I co-wrote with Robin Jones Gunn (pictured below goofing off with me) called Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, and see if you know anyone like this:

“All it took was that one kiss after the archery lesson, and I readily agreed to be Steven’s girlfriend. We spent a lot of time together. We hiked in the hills behind our houses. We swung on the swings at the park. At night I would sneak out of my house to go to his. He would sneak out too, and we would sit on the grass in the warm summer night and watch the moon. And we always kissed.

When Steven wanted to go further than kissing, it only made sense. That’s how things worked, right? I thought about the movies I had watched. The characters in them fell in love just like me, and then they slept together. Deep down I knew it wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want him to find another girlfriend. I was sure if I gave Steven everything he wanted, we would stay together forever. Since I was so sure that I loved him and he loved me, I willingly gave myself to him.

But before the summer was over, Steven gave me some awful news. ‘My family is moving away.’”

Lamentations 3:25-29 in The Message says, “God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The ‘worst’ is never the worst.”

If you know a young woman who is pursuing a Steven in her life, take the time to write out Lamentations 3:25-29 for her. Take her out for coffee, give her the verse, and pray with her. Make her feel cherished and loved, not only by you, but by the One who created her.

I was the woman in Lamentations who diligently sought, but I sought the wrong thing. I was seeking after was a worldly, impatient love. I wasn’t seeking the never-ending, no-strings-attached love from my heavenly Father. But God proved to be good to me even though I didn’t deserve it. And He is continuing to prove Himself good to me every day.

Encourage the young woman to pursue the only One who continually proves Himself good. Let her know that He can turn those who are diligently seeking what is wrong (as I once was) into young women who diligently seek His good and perfect will.

Top 10 Reasons Why Sexual Activity is Physically, Emotionally, and Socially Dangerous!

No one doubts that sexual activity is physically, emotionally, and socially dangerous.

What are the risks? Here is . . .

The Top 10 List

10. The risk of death. More than 600,000 cases of AIDS have been reported in the United States since 1981, and as many as 900,000 Americans may be infected with HIV.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

9. The risk of lost relationships. When you choose to develop a sexual relationship with someone, you've immediately changed the definition of the relationship. There is no such thing as casual sex. Once you have developed a sexual relationship, that relationship turns a critical corner. After the relationship ends, you and your partner will experience that guilt and pain of promises broken.

Hebrews 12:16 says, "See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son."

8. Risks of incurable disease. Imagine that you have found that one special person with whom you want to share your life ... and now you are forced to break the news that you have an incurable disease. Even though such diseases like herpes are generally not considered life threatening, there are no cures. Not only is it incurable, it fills a life with worries, awkward revelations, and continuous need for medication.

1 Corinthians 6:13 says, "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

7. The risk of damaging the destiny of your future marriage. There is no way that premarital sex of any kind could be a positive thing for your future marriage. (Just ask my husband how he feels "knowing" about my past.) It only causes suspicion, mistrust, and regret.

Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

6. The risk of permanently damaging your testimony as a Christian. You'll never be able to honestly say, "I was a virgin before I was married." You'll never be able to live as an example of committed purity.

Ephesians 5:3 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

5. The risk of depression. Those who participate in premarital sex experience emotional damage that may lead to an increased chance of mental depression and emotional despair.

2 Corinthians 12:21 says, "I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged."

4. The risk of placing your future children in spiritual harm's way. The Bible clearly speaks of the concept of generational sin. What you sow (plant) spiritually may be reaped in the life of your children. Remain pure before God and you'll be tenaciously guarding the future of the next generation.

Proverbs 20:7 says, "The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him."

3. The risk of sexual dysfunction. People spend millions of dollars to correct sexual dysfunction through drugs and psychotherapy. Why? Because they entered marriage with unresolved sexual issues. For example, a man may think that he will be free from the curse of pornography once he gets married, only to find that the problems are even more noticeable and controlling. Sexual purity before marriage is the first step to incredible sexual fulfillment after marriage.

Mark 7:21 says, "For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery,"

2. The risk of shame. Premarital sex imputes a spiritual state of shame that becomes a major weapon for our enemy. God forgives you, but you will still be vulnerable to Satan's whispering accusations on your worth.

1 Corinthians 5:1-2 says, "It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you . . . Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief?"

1. The risk of disobeying God and letting Satan get a foothold. The Bible, time after time tells us to flee sexual sins. Why? Because it is a major strategy of the devil to sabotage God's work on Earth. How can God work through you, when you aren't living up to His standards?

1 Thessalonians 4:3 says, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality."

So, what do you think?

Don't Give Up Waiting for "That Guy" . . . Because He's Waiting for "That Girl"

Young women, do you wonder if the guy of your dreams is out there? Do you think that even if you find him there are too many bad choices that he'll look away, walk away?

In God's Word we read, "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" Matthew 6:33 (NLT).

As you wait, seek God. Give your heart to Him, and He will help prepare it for your future husband!

I talk about how God brought me the man of my dreams as a single mom of a son in my book Praying for Your Future Husband. You can find out more about it here.

God has a good plan for you, too! Remember that!

Don't give up. Trust that the right guy will come in the right time. Trust that God is already preparing his heart for yours.

Below is a song that my oldest son wrote as he waited for his future bride. Less than one year later he was engaged to her! Now, almost four years later they're married with a son and another baby on the way.

Right now pray and ask God to help you be "that girl" for a wonderful guy some day.


That Girl
written by Cory Goyer, April 2009

That girl
I don't know her hair color
I don't know her smile
I don't know her laugh
I don't know the color of her eyes
Or her favorite song
I don't know her passions
I don't know the thing she hates
I don't know her face
I don't know where she likes to hide
Or the twinkle in her eye
I don't know if I know her
But I know she is that girl

I would give my life for that girl
I would give up everything for that girl
I would die for that girl
I would live for that girl
I would love that girl
I would care for that girl
I would take care of that girl
All for that girl

I know she is beautiful
I know she is smart
I know she is wonderful
I know she is funny
I know she is amazing
I know she is mine
I know she is that girl

She may not know it yet
For I surely don't
She may mat not love me yet
But I know she will
Because I know I will love her
With all that I have
She may not even know me yet
But she will know me more than anyone

She may have a past
Wrong things
Regrets
Sorrows
But I will not see these things
I will wipe away her sorrows
I will not remember her wrong doings
I will not regret
Because if everything
She has ever done
Will lead her to me
Then I thank her past

So God I pray
I pray for that girl
I pray you let me wait

Top Ten Reasons to Stay Abstinent

No one doubts that sexual activity is physically, emotionally, and socially dangerous.

But what are the actual risks?

10. The risk of death. More than 600,000 cases of AIDS have been reported in the United States since 1981. As many as 900,000 Americans may be infected with HIV.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

9. The risk of lost relationships. When you choose to develop a sexual relationship with someone, you've immediately changed the definition of the relationship. There is no such thing as casual sex. Once you have developed a sexual relationship, that relationship turns a critical corner. After the relationship ends, you and your partner will experience that guilt and pain of promises broken.

Hebrews 12:16 says, "See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son."

8. Risks of incurable disease. Imagine you have found that one special person with whom you want to share your life . . . and now you are forced to break the news that you have an incurable disease. Even though such diseases like herpes are generally not considered life-threatening, currently no cures exist. Not only is it incurable, but it fills a life with worries, awkward revelations, and continuous need for medication.

1 Corinthians 6:13 says, "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

7. The risk of damaging the destiny of your future marriage. There is no way premarital sex of any kind is positive for your future marriage. (Just ask my husband how he feels "knowing" about my past.) It only causes suspicion, mistrust, and regret.

Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

6. The risk of permanently damaging your testimony as a Christian. You'll never be able to say honestly, "I was a virgin before I was married." You'll never be able to live as an example of committed purity.

Ephesians 5:3 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

5. The risk of depression. Those who participate in premarital sex experience emotional damage that can lead to an increased chance of mental depression and emotional despair.

2 Corinthians 12:21 says, "I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged."

4. The risk of placing your future children in spiritual harm's way. The Bible clearly speaks of the concept of generational sin. What you sow (plant) spiritually may be reaped in the life of your children. Remain pure before God, and you'll be tenaciously guarding the future of the next generation.

Proverbs 20:7 says, "The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him."

3. The risk of sexual dysfunction. People spend millions of dollars to correct sexual dysfunction through drugs and psychotherapy. Why? Because they entered marriage with unresolved sexual issues. For example, a man may think that he will be free from the curse of pornography once he gets married, only to find that the problems are even more noticeable and controlling. Sexual purity before marriage is the first step to incredible sexual fulfillment after marriage.

Mark 7:21 says, "For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery,"

2. The risk of shame. Premarital sex imputes a spiritual state of shame that becomes a major weapon for our enemy. God forgives you, but you will still be vulnerable to Satan's whispering accusations on your worth.

1 Corinthians 5:1-2 says, "It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you . . . Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief?"

1. The risk of disobeying God and letting Satan get a foothold. The Bible, time after time, tells us to flee sexual sins. Why? Because it is a major strategy of the devil to sabotage God's work on Earth. How can God work through you when you aren't living up to His standards?

1 Thessalonians 4:3 says, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality."

So, what do you think?

Teen pregnancies are on the rise again.

Interview by AOL's Parent Dish--me and the President of Planned Parenthood about teen pregnancy. What didn't come out in the article is that I AM for abstinence education.

After a long period of decline, teen pregnancy rates are on the rise again and experts say that abstinence-only programs, the media and absent parents are to blame.

A Jan. 26 report from the New York-based Guttmacher Institute reveals that the pregnancy rate among 15- to 19-year-olds rose three percent in 2005-2006, the first increase in more than a decade. The nonpartisan think tank looked at its own data and that of the federal government to determine that more teens are getting pregnant now than since before the 1990s.


What's causing the jump? According to Guttmacher, it was the focus on abstinence-only programs that began in the early 2000s, which were prohibited by law from including contraception information. As a result, teens' use of contraceptives declined.

The report "should serve as a wake-up call to anyone who still believes that teenagers aren't sexually active or that abstinence-only programs curb the rate of teen pregnancy," said Cecile Richards, president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, in an email interview with ParentDish. "Over the course of a decade, federal and state governments have spent $1.5 billion on abstinence-only programs. It is a tragedy that we are witnessing an increase in the number of teens who are getting pregnant, especially when we know what works -- medically accurate, age-appropriate sex education that gives young people the tools to make responsible decisions about their health."

The best tool in a parent's arsenal, she adds, is communication. "Studies show that the best way to prevent teen pregnancy is to provide teens with honest, accurate information."

Tricia Goyer is an author and speaker who works with teen moms on a weekly basis, and she knows of what she speaks. She became pregnant with her eldest son, Cory, now 20, when she was a high-school senior. Goyer, author of "Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom," says there are two other key factors in play when it comes to the increase in teen pregnancy: Absent parents and the media.

"Parents today live busy lives," she says. "They aren't taking the time to build close-knit relationships with their kids. Many, many young women are also growing up without fathers. I believe this leaves a hole in the hearts of teens. They are yearning for love that they don't have at home and look for it in each other."

Goyer points out that glamorizing teen pregnancy on TV and in the movies only serves to teach young women -- and men -- that engaging in sexual activity has very few real consequences.

Read the rest here!

After read the rest and watch the short video - come back here and let me know what you think.

Tricia Goyer