What Am I So Nervous About?

Today, I feel like this guy. Okay, so I'm not bald or nearly this round, and I'm not frowning, but I do feel like a giant cliche butterfly is flitting around in my stomach. What are you so nervous about, you might want to know. Can I pray for you?

Fine, I'll tell you, but you need to promise not to laugh.

Deep breath. Let it out. One more. There you go. Just say it. 

I'm going to Girls Night Out this evening---my first major women's event at a new church. 

So, you're probably saying to yourself. I fail to see the fear factor here. Girls Night Out sounds like fun, and I thought you were making friends at your new church. 

Told you it was silly. I am actually excited about it, and I am going with a great friend who is taking me to pre-event get-together so I can meet even more friends. But this morning I went into the first-day-of-high-school panic mode.  You probably know the drill:

What if no one talks to me except the friend who brought me?
What if I say something stupid?
I have nothing to wear!

Back in Reno, I rarely missed a social event at church. But I also knew everyone and what to expect once I arrived. I was often leading worship, performing in a skit or leading a mixer, or contributing in some other way. Back in Reno, I went to events like this with a purpose, a "place."

But as I let my sister paint my toenails and help me choose an outfit (As it turned out, I did have something to wear, and it's pretty cute too.), I reminded myself that this is part of the process of starting over in a new home, and why I signed up for Girls Night Out in the first place. As I learned when I accepted my cousin/friend's invitation to Bible study a couple months ago, making friends and getting to the place where I feel at ease means putting myself out there. It means attending events as a stranger at first. It means letting people get to know me and making an effort to get to know them. It means walking out the door even when the butterflies feel like a swarm of bats and focusing on how fun the evening is going to be and how glad I will be for going. Starting over means remembering that socializing won't always feel like the first day at a new school. I have plenty of memories from my life in Reno to prove it.

When have you felt like this? How easy or difficult is it for you to meet new people or feel confident in a new environment? What are you nervous about today?       

How do you see...YOU?

I am my own worst enemy at times...most girls are. But I think we have enough enemies already.

We have a world that tells us our value depends on the size of our clothes
We have schools that tell us our grades and test scores measure who we are.
We have peers who tease and bully us about our looks.
We have an enemy who wants nothing more that to DESTROY us.

I am no stranger to bullying. I was the "new kid" 14 times by the time I reached the 8th grade. New kids struggle to find their place in each new world they live in.

In first grade, I was punched in the stomach at the bus stop. I don't remember why.

In third grade, neighborhood boys tormented me.

In fourth grade I was slapped across the face by the popular girl because she didn't like the way I walked.

In fifth grade, I was terrified of being beaten up in my neighborhood.

In sixth grade, I was teased for being a good student - a teacher's pet.

In every grade, I felt fat and ugly. My dad never let a day go by without making fun of me.

By 8th grade...I suppose I gave up.

By 8th grade, I hated myself as much as I thought everyone else did.

At some point, other people stop being the bullies and we bully ourselves instead.

I have been guilty of that. It has taken years of drinking in the Word of God to crawl out of that place of self-loathing and begin - just begin - to see myself as God sees me.

Precious.

Valuable.

Loved.

Beautiful.

And you are all those things. too. You are precious, valuable, loved and beautiful. The only definition we should accept of ourselves is the one God uses. That's why we need to keep digging into His word. Finding Him and His truth.

And this - this is why I wrote today. I needed to see this - and I bet you do too.

Watch it - and let me know what you think.

With love,

Sarah


Sarah's new book is Me & My Invisible Guy!

Tired of doing good...

I've always loved this verse:

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.


But what happens when we do?

What do we do on those days when we're tired of being good, tired of doing the right thing, tired of hoping? Tired of keeping the faith, tired of not giving up?

What about those days when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel and we're exhausted from groping blindly in the darkness? What about those days when we feel forgotten and like our struggle is in vain?

Where do we go when we lose the ability or the urge to keep fighting?When we just want to give in. Give up. Be like everyone else because it's easier. Or think like everyone else because what's the point anyway?

There's only two choices of where to go.

Either back to the source - or into the pit.

If we chose the source, then I mean, of course, the source of our light, our hope, our faith. The source of our heart.

Jesus.

If we really do give up, give in and quit, we go into a pit.

And we just thought we had problems before!

As lonely as "doing good" can feel at times, trust me, the pit is lonelier. The pit is consuming and unforgiving and heart-stealing. There is no life there.

But Jesus came to give us life abundantly. Which means He wants a pit-free life for us.

What will you choose when you are weary?

I think the problem that tempts us away from doing good is we don't see results. We want that harvest now, yet most of the time, God calls us to wait. Our microwave generation wants it all right away. We live in a "yesterday is too late" type of mentality and it's so damaging.

This verse really digs into the root of that issue in our hearts.

Whose timetable do you ultimately trust the most? Yours or God's? Will you keep doing good even when you don't see results right away?

The key factor here in this verse is "at the proper time".

Hard to swallow, but truth usually is. Because truth isn't always what we want to hear. In fact, truth is usually exactly what we do NOT want to hear :)

But it's still true. And another truth is that God's way and timing is better than ours. Ours is, in fact, usually wrong.

Tired of doing good? It's okay. I think this verse is here to let us know this is normal. This is all right, this is even expected. It's okay to be tired.

But it's not okay to give up.

Step away from the pit of defeat. Give up on the microwave answer. And trust God's timing.

I'm going to try. Will you?

Don't Give Up Waiting for "That Guy" . . . Because He's Waiting for "That Girl"

Young women, do you wonder if the guy of your dreams is out there? Do you think that even if you find him there are too many bad choices that he'll look away, walk away?

In God's Word we read, "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" Matthew 6:33 (NLT).

As you wait, seek God. Give your heart to Him, and He will help prepare it for your future husband!

I talk about how God brought me the man of my dreams as a single mom of a son in my book Praying for Your Future Husband. You can find out more about it here.

God has a good plan for you, too! Remember that!

Don't give up. Trust that the right guy will come in the right time. Trust that God is already preparing his heart for yours.

Below is a song that my oldest son wrote as he waited for his future bride. Less than one year later he was engaged to her! Now, almost four years later they're married with a son and another baby on the way.

Right now pray and ask God to help you be "that girl" for a wonderful guy some day.


That Girl
written by Cory Goyer, April 2009

That girl
I don't know her hair color
I don't know her smile
I don't know her laugh
I don't know the color of her eyes
Or her favorite song
I don't know her passions
I don't know the thing she hates
I don't know her face
I don't know where she likes to hide
Or the twinkle in her eye
I don't know if I know her
But I know she is that girl

I would give my life for that girl
I would give up everything for that girl
I would die for that girl
I would live for that girl
I would love that girl
I would care for that girl
I would take care of that girl
All for that girl

I know she is beautiful
I know she is smart
I know she is wonderful
I know she is funny
I know she is amazing
I know she is mine
I know she is that girl

She may not know it yet
For I surely don't
She may mat not love me yet
But I know she will
Because I know I will love her
With all that I have
She may not even know me yet
But she will know me more than anyone

She may have a past
Wrong things
Regrets
Sorrows
But I will not see these things
I will wipe away her sorrows
I will not remember her wrong doings
I will not regret
Because if everything
She has ever done
Will lead her to me
Then I thank her past

So God I pray
I pray for that girl
I pray you let me wait

Friends We Will Love Forever

In my last post, I was getting ready to attend a writer’s conference where a special friend would be missing. I felt her absence as soon as I arrived, but God allowed some sweet moments with other writer friends who missed Ethel as much as I did. I know a small group of us will always treasure the impromptu time of sharing memories of our precious mentor after dinner on the first night. Once we got past the sadness, we did what we knew Ethel would want us to do—we began enjoying what God had for us at the conference, including time with old and new friends. 

You might recognize one new friend that I made. That’s right; Ashley Mays and I met in person for the first time. We had a great time getting to know each other, worshipping together, and being part of the same group during a fun ice-breaker game involving Play Doh. 

Instead of being a sad time, the conference was an incredible five days, and a huge part of it included enjoying the unique bond that we have a Christians. Isn’t it amazing how we can only see certain people once a year and still feel like family, or meet a sister in Christ for the first time and feel a connection right away? Why do you think this is? Maybe this bond comes from the reality that we will be spending eternity together. 

Today, take some time to thank God for the friends that you truly will love forever, and for those you are still waiting to meet in person.