Unplugging, Part 2

In my last post, I was getting ready for a week at a friends cabin, without Internet of cell phone service. While I planned to enjoy it and make the most of the opportunity to unplug, I must admit that I expected to go through withdrawals. I simply didn't know how to live without e-mail, connecting with friends on Facebook, and talking on the phone. But you know what? I didn't miss it. Not one bit!

Yes, I missed my family and my friends, but I missed the face-to-face time more than the online chatting. I loved the lack of pressure to answer messages right away. I noticed that the day seemed to last longer, and in a good way. My friends and I had wonderful talks about God and how He was working in our lives. We took walks, watched old movies, and laughed; I journaled, finished one book and started another, learned a new card game, and actually sat on the deck for a while doing nothing but stare up at the treetops. The longer I went without tapping my fingers against keys and starring at a screen, the more I started to wonder how I might work some unplugged time into my regular routine.

Now I'm home again, and the computer calls to me, reminding me how much I need to catch up on. Once again, I'm asking myself how I can work the benefits of last week into life at home. Perhaps, I will keep my computer powered off on Sundays, or turn it off at dinner time each night. Whatever I choose, I'm thankful for last week and the gifts I found in going technology free.

When has a time of living differently inspired you to make changes? What good things have come of it?

Confessions of a Gen X Mom | My Love/Hate Relationship with the Media

When I was a teen (wasn’t that, like, yesterday?) I thought I knew everything—especially what I would and wouldn’t do with my kids. I thought the movies Footloose, Pretty in Pink, and The Breakfast Club were cool. Yet when I picked Footloose up at Blockbuster, just for fun, I was shocked by the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. (OK, I confess I still like the music, but honestly were my standards that non-existent?)

Now that I have kids, of course, I’m even more conservative than my “stuffy” parents ever were. I was allowed to watch Pet Cemetery for goodness sake. Now I nearly have a coronary when a Victoria’s Secret commercial comes on with my kids in the room.

I realize the effects the media can have on young minds because I know how much my mind was influenced growing up the in the ‘70s and ‘80s. I remember every episode of The Cosby Show (and reruns of The Brady Bunch), and often times I related more to that family than my own.

I remember the first video I saw on MTV. And musicians like Bruce Springsteen, Tiffany, and Billy Idol were my, uh, idols.

It’s not that I’m totally against television, music, and the media. I’m addicted to Lost and Alias (still watching them on DVD). And I have to admit I look forward to skimming through People Magazine as I stand in the check-out line at the grocery store. It’s just that I’m not willing to replace a “television family” with my own family connections.

Is it possible to teach my kids values—especially a love for God and family—without moving to a deserted island. Or worse, disconnecting cable forever?

Determine your family’s values before the media determines them for you. According to The Motherhood Study (2005), a comprehensive survey of two thousand women, “Many mothers feel that the values they are trying to instill in their children are the exact opposite of the values of pup culture and the media.”

Understand how kids form their own internal idea of “the type of person I want to be.” “[By the age of 10] kids move from simply accepting and absorbing the attitudes and behaviors of their families to becoming more selective,” say Dr. Rick and Kathy Hicks, authors of Boomers, Xers, and Other Strangers. “They hold on to what seems appropriate, but they are also checking out new ideas, attitudes, and values as they are exposed to them through school, media, community groups, and other influences. They are choosing the values and behavior patterns that appeal to them, and they are creating an internal idea of the kinds of person they want to be.”

Realize that kids want the real deal, which is people connecting in authentic relationships.

Today’s kids are skeptical, yet what they do believe we want to apply to everyday life. They’re realistic, not idealistic. Their faith- and family-life has to be truly lived out, or they don’t buy into it.
We can be the parent. God placed us in a specific generation as children in order for us to become a generation of parents designed to fulfill His chosen purposes. For in the crazy way God works, it’s us who God has been chosen to parent the next generation of powerful men and women of God!

God knows what He’s doing after all—giving us these kids during this time in history. We also must remember He has not left us to do this job alone.

A Week to Unplug

This week, I am getting ready to send my son off to camp for the first time. He is going with a good friend of his and can't wait! While our boys swim, boat, and possibly brave the ropes course, my friend Anne and I get to join our friend Rebecca at her family cabin. Isn't it darling?

While at the cabin, I will brave my own little adventure: a week without Internet access or cell service. When Anne told me that we wouldn't have either, I must say I was thrilled. As much as I love connecting with my friends on Facebook, browsing the web, e-mail, and phones, lately I have felt the pressure to chained to them from morning 'til night. The opportunity to unplug feels like a gift from God. I decided to go for it full-on and leave my laptop at home. Any writing I do will be with pen and paper. (Remember those?) I plan to read, spend time with God, enjoy the speakers that we get to hear from in the evenings, take walks, and just enjoy being with my friends. I can't wait to see what God does during this break from technology!

Would you like to share in my challenge? How about unplugging from devices for a day or even half a day? Or perhaps you have done this lately already? I would love to hear how God uses it to refresh you.

49 Shades of Gray...

Sharing this here...an important piece I wrote yesterday from the heart on my personal blog.

Might be the most real thing I've ever written!

http://writergetsreal.blogspot.com/2013/07/49-shades-of-gray.html#comment-form

I wrote it for me, but I sincerely hope it speaks to you.

Life is like a box of chocolates?

Forrest Gump thought life was like a box of chocolates - "we never know what we're going to get." Right?

Sort of.

Unlike a box of chocolates, we can't always just simply nibble a taste of things in life and decide if we want to keep chewing or not. Sometimes, a chocolate we really can't stand or don't want at all is shoved down our throats without our choice! (the strawberry creme filled fancy chocolates are the best, by the way)

So what do we do when we don't like the piece we're given? What do we do when we see our friends with what looks to be better candy than ours, and want to trade? Or, at the least, want to reach back into the gold foil box and choose another?

It's not that simple, Forrest.

I've been given some pieces lately that I really would have rather put back. The kind of pieces that make you think, anything but this one! ANYTHING else will taste better!

But that's not necessarily true. You've probably heard it said before that if you gather a group of people, and ask them to share the deepest burden on their heart, that by the time the sharing session is over, not a single person in the room will want to trade problems.

Everyone has their bad piece of chocolate. Forrest did. I do. You do, too.

Perspective wise, I think Forrest had it right. We can't be sure of tomorrow. We can't  know what's coming around the bend, be it good or bad. So don't stress over it. Accept what you can't change and don't let it control you. Etc. Etc. Etc. All decent advice.

But Forrest had one key element missing...

He didn't know the Confectioner. The Creator of the chocolate. The One who passes around that gold foil box and distributes each piece. The One who knows exactly who needs which piece at which time to accomplish a greater good, and a greater purpose. The One who is there by our side while we have to chew and swallow the bitter. The One who rejoices with us when we get to enjoy a favorite piece. He's there, through the good and the bad, and not a single piece of chocolate is wasted. Not a single thing in our lives is wasted.

Next time you get a piece you'd rather spit out, remember - you're not alone. Every chocolate has a purpose. And the bad taste doesn't last forever. You'll get another strawberry creme soon :)  Just keep taking what the Confectioner prepares for you, and trust Him to keep you well fed. There's a lesson in every morsel, if you're willing to look for it and learn from it.

And the more we do that - the more we willingly open our mouths and hearts to the Lord - the sweeter it all tastes.

Dreaming Big with God

I often ask the question, “If you could do anything and knew it would succeed, what would it be?” For many people something immediately comes to mind. But there are also many people who don’t know. They wonder all the time, what does God want from me?

I think one of the problems with the “dream big” idea is that we let our human minds measure what “big” is. We think it has to be fame or success or a ministry or a huge blog. But what is “big” to God? (I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

What we do need to remember is that God has gifted us all differently. My pastor, Dr. Mark DeYmaz, talked about this on Sunday. There are some people whom God uses to dream. Some people are to manage. And some people just want to do the daily task He’s given them . . . and there’s nothing wrong with that!

http://www.mosaicchurch.net/media-archives

State of the Church 2013 (Part 2) – Mark DeYmaz

I can’t remember Pastor Mark’s titles, but the divisions went something like this. In God’s body there are the:

1. Big Picture Dreamers
2. Managers
3. Workers

I’m a dreamer (as if you couldn’t guess that!), but my favorite people are those who can help me live out what I envision! When I started a pregnancy center—or now working with teen moms—I could not do what I do without those who come alongside me.

Sometimes the dream God gives you just may be to work alongside someone else. If you could connect with one ministry, what would that be? What could you do to support it? Why are you so passionate about it? What is God telling you concerning this ministry?

When you think about it, the “big” thing to God is obeying what He asks you to do. You could become famous, make it big, and become well-known—and it would amount to nothing. Or you can ask God what is BIG to him. You might be surprised.

In the world’s eyes my writing is the most important part, but as we just opened our home to two more kids through an adoption, there have been many moments during the day as I’m playing cars or have kids piled on my lap and I feel God saying, “This. This is exactly where you need to be right now.”

What bigger dream can you have than that? He sees the future. He knows whom those kids will become. He knows the transformation that happens in my heart as I serve them as a mom and servant. And His dream is for me to trust Him in the path He sets me on.

*Photo credit: Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I posted this on my own blog a few days ago and thought you might appreciate it, too.

See this picture? The one golf tee remaining in the Peg Jump game is proof that I am a genius. It says so right on the wooden triangle--"One peg = "Wow, genius!" I have waiting my entire life to solve this puzzle. (Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration considering that I didn't start playing the game until I bought one while on vacation at age ten.) For a girl whose kindergarten teacher responded to her inability to learn colors with "Maybe she's just dumb," this was a very exciting day. There is only one problem with getting down to one peg: unless you took notes while playing that perfect game, or decide to cheat by looking up the solution online, the chances of acheiving greatness a second time are pretty slim.

Over the weekend, I played this game over and over again, and the best I could hope for was two pegs, which the instructions call "Above average." Not bad, but "'Wow,' Genius!" felt so much better. A few times I ended up with three, earning a "So-so." And then there were the moments when four pegs stared up at me, which the game-makers consider "Pretty bad." The longer I played only to realize that I'd set a standard for myself that I might never measure up to again, the more I fought a sense of failure. What had I done differently on that glorious Saturday afternoon?

Yes, I know it is just a game, but it was amazing how quickly I bought into the message that earning a "So-so," or heaven forbid a "Pretty bad" meant I was no longer a genius, as if that wooden triangle with ten golf tees stuck into it measured my intelligence. I have come a long way in my battle with wrapping my identity and value up in the wrong things, but this obsession with the Peg Jump reminded me how easy it is to slip back into old patterns of connecting it to achievements and what others think of or say about me. It also drove home the destructive nature of this trap--that when I allow success, opinions, or whatever that desired thing is to make or break how I feel, it is very difficult to enjoy triumphs, relationships, and the joys of life, because there is always a standard to fear not measuring up to.

At least this time, I was able to see the silliness it in all, set that crazy game down, and refuse to let the words on a piece of wood label me. Maybe it's time to do the same in a few other areas.

What about you? What have you allowed to make or break your sense of value lately? What is God teaching you about who you are in Him?    

Open Arms

My dad was a police officer. Maybe that’s the reason I’ve always wanted to stick to the rules. I’m a people-pleaser through and through. I love it when I get kudos for a job well done. I hate it when I feel I’ve disappointed someone.

Too often I find myself treating God as if He, too, were a police officer–hanging around, waiting to catch me crossing the line. Every morning, as I journal my prayers, I write out my confessions. Then I end with prayers seeking God’s strength to help me be good.

This morning, as I read my Bible, I came across Psalm 40:5:

“Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us;
There is none to compare with You
If I would declare and speak of them,
They would be too numerous to count.”

The part that stopped me in my tracks was “Many . . . are Your thoughts toward us.” So I paused, and pondered this for a while. I pictured God thinking about us a lot. God thinking about me. Loving me. Caring for me. It brought tears to my eyes.

All around us we have people tell us we need to be good, to do the right thing, to follow the right path, to care for others more than ourselves. That is all fine and good, but sometimes we need to just be okay with the fact that God loves us–at this moment, how we are. He is thinking about me TONS. He is thinking about you.

And instead of the police uniform that causes us to keep our distance, we need to think of the Daddy who welcomes us with open arms.

It only takes one thing...

I don't know about you, but there have been times where I've allowed circumstances and the pain of said circumstances to pull me away from God, rather than tug me closer. We've all been there. 

In fact, I've ridden tidal waves between these two extremes (close with God, far from God) multiple times over the same circumstance I'm dealing with currently, and it is, in a word, exhausting. 

So what do we do when we're tired? Worn out? Tired of fighting to keep our head above water, tired of the back and forth in our hearts spiritually, tired of the battle and the struggle and the pretense and the mask and the "I'm ok" when you know you're really not? 

What do we DO when we can't find peace in any of it, when it seems like the issue is never going away...

when you feel like you can't find sure footing, even with God?

(yes, I just said that! And yes, its okay to be that honest. Sometimes, even as strong believers, even as Christians, we simply do not feel steady on God's foundation. It's okay to admit that out loud. Trust me, He can handle it! The good news is, just because we feel something doesn't make it true)

So what do we do to get out of that swampy mess of back and forth spiritually?

It only takes one thing. 

Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."

A broken and repentant heart, or in other translations, a broken and contrite heart. 

When we're playing the dodging-reality game, or the blaming-others game, or the blaming-God game, or the steeped-in-pride-to-avoid-the-pain game, or any of those things we as humans do when we're struggling with our faith or with our life, we have to eventually get to the place we just stop. Confess our sin (because it's always there. If you're not able to be close to God, and you're a believer, odds are there's a reason there somewhere. Something sinful is very possibly blocking you), admit our failures, admit our fears (God CAN handle them!) and ask Him for help.

But it starts with that broken heart. 

We can't come to God and expect complete healing and freedom when we have sin in the way, or when we're denying the truth of our feelings and thoughts. Get it out before Him, deal with it, do whatever it takes, and get back in there next to Him. 

He hasn't left. 

Here's to no more tidal wave surfing.  :)   Who's with me?

Back Then . . .

Some times in writing, my first attempt is to take the easy way out. I was trying to do this with the book I’m currently writing, Blue Like Playdoh. This book shares much of my life journey, and I tried to tell it in sweet, devotional thoughts. My editor didn’t go for that. He wanted me to journey back. To revisit my questions and my fears. To be THERE, without the benefit of 20/20 vision.

It was crazy. I took myself back to the days when I had three little kids and no writing credentials. I didn’t spend much time with God, and I had no idea of where my life would be headed. There were more questions than answers, more worries than fulfilled dreams.

“There” (about fifteen years back) has been hanging around with me, and in my Bible Study I came across a great quote by Beth Moore, “Sometimes we don’t know why we’re on a certain road with God until miles have made their way to the soles of our feet.” Beth More, Stepping Up Workbook, p. 13.

Where is God taking you today? What road are you on? Eighteen years from now you might have a clue, but for now you too may have more questions than answers, more worries than fulfilled dreams. But keep walking God’s way. Keep moving your feet forward. Take one more step closer to Him today. There’s a purpose to the road, and a Savior who’s walking with you.

Good Gifts

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow" James 1:17 (NASB). 

Take a close look at the picture above because this is the only time you will see an image of my feet posted online. At least I say that now.

Today, my friend Samantha took me out for a belated birthday gift. She even paid extra for flowers. Now I have pretty feet for summer.

I know James did not have pedicures in mind when he wrote his letter, but that half hour in the salon chair when I soaked my feet in warm scented water, had them massages and cleared up, and let a sweet girl paint my toe nails felt like a gift from the Father. I did not need to tell the manicurist that it had been awhile since my last one. Just be happy I didn't post a before picture. The past couple years left little time or energy, let alone funds, for beauty treatments. I occasionally found time to paint my own toes, (I'll save my hidden talent as a contortionist for a later post.) or have my sister polish them, but most of the time I just wore closed-toed shoes. When sandal weather hit, I started feeling a bit unkept. After such a long season in a foggy state, I have felt a deep need to look nice, and God clearly understood that.

So, thank you, Samantha for providing a much needed lift. Your birthday gift did not feel late at all, in fact, it was perfectly timed. And thank You, Father, for knowing exactly what we need and when, and for seeing our desires as important, even a seemingly frivolous desire for professionally-polished toe nails.

What perfectly timed gifts have you received lately? How has God met your needs in creative ways?  

Giving away $150 to Celebrate the Release of My Book!

You can register here to try for a $150 Visa card in celebration of the release of The Bare Naked Truth: Dating, Waiting & God's Purity Plan! Then join us at our celebratory Facebook party to find out if you won on Thursday, 6/20!

When Suicide Hits Home

There are some days when you wake up and have no idea your life is going to change. One of those moments was the day I first heard about a young woman named Kristen Anderson who tried to commit suicide by laying down in front of a train.

The first time I'd talked to Kristen on the phone, I knew I had to write her story. There was a time Kristen's life had sunk into darkness. She had four friends and her grandmother die, she started drinking and smoking, and then she was raped. Kristen felt like a zombie for about six months. She didn't want to die, but she didn't want to live with the pain, either. One January night she laid down in front of a train. Kristen survived, but lost her legs. For three years she struggled with depression and even went back and forth out of the psych ward. Kristen knew that to get beyond the depression she had to give herself to God completely. She started praying, reading her Bible, going to a dynamic church and she surrounded herself with Christian friends. Through the process of seeking Him, God changed everything. She's now one of the happiest people I know.

When I thought about writing the book, I knew that if people would see how Kristen's life did not remain in that dark place, they could have hope for their own journeys. My intentions were to help people “out there.” I had no idea that it would open up conversations within my own family.

When I first started working with Kristen on the book, I was intrigued. I'd seen Kristen on Oprah and I knew people were amazed how she survived. I was amazed too. There were numerous times in the interviewing process that I thought, “This is a miracle.”

As with all books, I often share what I'm writing with my family. I remember one afternoon when I was driving and my sixteen-year-old daughter Leslie was with me. I was talking about Kristen and Leslie looked at me, sadness in her eyes. “Mom, I have to tell you, I've considered suicide before.”

I felt my breath escape me. Tears sprang to my eyes. “What? When?”

Leslie went on to tell me it was when she was in junior high. She didn't have many friends and felt shunned at church. Worse than that, the girl she considered her best friend teased her all the time, telling her she wasn't pretty, wasn't smart, and would never have a boyfriend. “I was so sad inside. I didn't want to face that sadness anymore, but I didn't take my life because I knew how much it would hurt you and dad.”

Over the next couple of days Leslie and I continued to talk about how hard life seems sometimes. We also talked about how easy it is to pretend everything's fine when we're really hurting inside. It made me realize that as a mom there could be things my kids are struggling with that I have no clue about. How about you? Are there things you're struggling with that your parents don't know? I know it's hard to share sometimes ... but maybe you should tell them. It might be hard, but parents want to be there to help. They care.

When I talked with Kristen's mom, Jan, during the process of writing the book, she told me she'd been worried about Kristen's friends at time, but not about her daughter. “Kristen was the one everyone turned to for help. She seemed to be having a hard time, but I had no idea how bad it had gotten.”

I have to admit that when I was a teenager suicide crossed my mind, too, but I never took it seriously. While I was in high school, though, a friend of a friend did commit suicide after his girlfriend broke up with him. I remember how the whole community was saddened by this. We all wondered if there was more that we could have done to help him.

Here is Kristen's story about how God changed her life even after she lost her longs. Her mission in life is to help people who are in the same dark place she used to be in.

If you or someone you know has suicidal thoughts there is hope!

Contact Reaching You Ministries if you need help ... or just someone to talk to. 

For Kristen, her story turned out to have a happy ending, but for so many others it doesn't. More of Kristen's story can be found in Life, In Spite of Me.

There is hope!

The Difference

A few weeks ago, I started a morning routine of getting up thirty minutes early to take a walk. Before moving I walked everywhere, and lately I have really missed the difference that those trips to church, the school, friends’ houses, and the store made. For the first time in ages I felt like I was gaining weight. I dreaded summer when my legs would show. I resented the entire swimsuit industry and every celebrity who I knew was only skinny because she had a personal trainer. Knowing that I most likely would not be willing to wear jeans all summer long, and that those Victorian bathing outfits (that suddenly looked very appealing) probably wouldn’t hit the runway anytime soon, I added the morning walk three days per week and built up to more.

I loved it immediately. I could think, pray, brainstorm writing ideas, and walk as fast and as long as I wanted to. Just as the experts predicted, I felt more energized, my body bounced back, my clothes fit like they should again, and I slept better. As an added bonus, I found many spiritual applications to work into devotionals later. (Nothing is wasted on a writer, including fitness programs.)        

So, with all this, you would think I sprang from my bed every morning at 5:30, ready to throw on my dated sweats and head out the door. Uh, not exactly. Yesterday, I woke up with a headache that seemed like the perfect excuse to sleep in. This morning, I just didn’t feel like it. 

Then, I thought about the benefits and how quickly they could be undone. I considered my son who’d caught on to my new routine and would ask, “So, did you go on your walk this morning?”

Did I really want to go back? How would I answer Nathan? Believe me, it would not be unlike him to say after hearing a serious of excuses, “So, in other words, you were just being lazy?”

Both times, I dragged myself out of bed, made a mental note to buy some new sweats, and took my walk, and both times I was glad I did. 

Why is it that even when we begin reaping the rewards of a beneficial routine, we want to slack off? We know the new thing leaves us feeling far more alive, healthy, and happy, yet the slacker in us still wants to skip it occasionally. I could probably spend my entire day exploring the answer, and we all have our set of reasons, but in the end, I guess it all comes down to choice. Do we want to go back to that icky place that inspired us to take action? Do we really want to explain ourselves to those who know us well enough to recognize when we are just being lazy? How badly do we really want to feel better, look better, be closer to God, or do fill-in-the-blank better? 

This morning taught me that the answer lies in what I ultimately choose to do, and that I will never regret doing the hard-but-right thing. 

What new routine has made a difference in your life lately? What keeps you from slacking off? What good things is God teaching you as you learn to be more disciplined?

Kim Kardashian's 72-Day Marriage

It seems that everyone is surprised--yet no one is surprised really--by Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage. There are many things I've wanted to say about that, but I didn't want to just add to the noise. When talking with a friend yesterday, I finally narrowed it down to what I wanted to add to the conversation.

My friend, you see, has a family member who just got married in the last year. "She's the most stable she's ever been yet she's facing depression. I don't understand it."

We've heard the term "honeymoon phase" to talk about the first year of marriage, but I've known few people who feel this time is an extended honeymoon period filled with joy and ease. Instead this first year is one of the toughest. We have the man of our dreams, everything should be perfect ... right?! It's usually far from perfect.

But why the depression? Why the questions? Why the urge to throw in the towel after 72 days? I have a few ideas.

1. Living with another person is hard. When two self-centered people (as we all are) try to merge their lives they're sure to butt heads. It's easier to think of our ease and our needs than to consider another person first. It takes time and practice to learn to compromise and work together for our mutual benefit and long-term solutions.

2. We feel a let down after the excitement of the courtship and the engagement and the wedding. It's over?! Now what? I was talking to my 19-year-old daughter about this yesterday. "It's sort of a let-down," I told her. "You're excited about who you're dating. You're excited about being engaged. You're looking forward to the wedding and then a few weeks later you wake up and it's all done. Now you're just looking at this guy who leaves his dishes in the sink and his dirty socks on the floor--who'd rather watch TV than go for a romantic walk like you used to do. And you wonder, is this all that's left?"

Leslie had a wise observation. "It sounds sort of like the slight depression after Christmas. The wedding was fun, but now it's over."

The Christmas analogy is a good one. I've felt that low-spot after Christmas Day. The long distance family members are long distance again. The gifts aren't as much fun as you expected them to be. And then there's the mess to clean up and the 7 pounds to lose. Of course, we do know that Christmas will come again next year, and we do look forward to that. With marriage there's not another wedding to look forward to, just days and days and days of self-sacrifice, patience and putting another's needs before your own.

So what's a person to do?

1. If you know a newlywed, be sure to ask the hard questions. "How are you really doing? What do you like most about marriage? What disappoints you?" Then offer a listening ear and an understanding heart.

2. Let young couples know that you faced the same problems ... and overcame them. Young couples often see loving, committed, happy couples that have been married a while and wonder what they're doing wrong. My own daughter was surprised to hear about some of the struggles John and I had in our first years of marriage. She assumed that the way we treat each other now is how we treated each other 21 years ago. WRONG.

3. Encourage couples to create their own "Christmas mornings." Romance doesn't have to end at the wedding altar. Spend time planning and dreaming together. Schedule special times you can anticipate and celebrate together. We all want things to look forward to and it's not just the vacations, date nights, or play dates that bring us close. It's the time talking about what's coming--and the reliving our favorite moments--that reminds us that our lives together aren't just about a BIG DAY, but also about the many happy days to come!

The Joy of Working for It

Today, we went to the Lindsay Wildlife Museum, a home for animals that cannot return to the wild after injury, illness, or time with humans who learned the hard way that squirrels did not make good pets. We showed up just in time to watch feeding time for a gray fox. I expected to see someone hand-feed the fox; instead, she made the fox work for his lunch.

As the young woman stuffed three Kong balls with food and tossed them around the habitat before releasing the fox from a holding area and getting out of the way, a volunteer explained the reason behind their feeding method. They had discovered that animals benefited from hunting for their food as they would in the wild. It was better for them physically and psychologically to smell the food then have the satisfaction of finding it before chowing down. Even when they found the food, they had to work before enjoying it. The fox had to get each morsel out of the Kong balls; a turkey vulture was required to tear open his bag filled with meat; the squirrel reached for a bag tied to a branch and pulled it down. Apparently, animals that got their food delivered in a dish got bored and depressed. They weren't nearly as active or happy and didn't live as long as those that satisfied their God-given instincts.

It made perfect sense to me. As much as I like the luxury of having my needs met the easy way, I would much rather work for them. As I watched a gray squirrel scurry up a branch and snatch his bag of food, I marveled over how the little creature reflected God's plan for each of us.

God didn't place Adam and Eve in the garden and serve them dinner every night; He put them in charge of the garden. Work was not part of the fall, but part of His original design. (Work just got stressful after sin entered the world.)

How amazing! Watching this process reminded me that God doesn't make us work for food, clothing, and other good things to be harsh, but because He knows work benefits all involved. Think of the satisfaction that you get from earning your own money, studying hard for a test and doing well, or participating in a project the benefits someone else.

In the next few weeks, as the school year wraps up and you look forward to how you will spend your summer, challenge yourself to see work as a gift--a God-given need that each of us has. How does your attitude change when you look at work this way?

    

What are you waiting for?

As humans, we wait.

And as humans, we usually hate waiting.

I know I do. I try to be patient, but when I'm stuck in traffic and running late to drop my daughter at school, or there's a wreck and I'm stuck waiting and going to be late for work, I get antsy. I get impatient.

And that's just the surface level stuff. How much worse is it in the figurative instead of the literal waiting? When we're waiting for God to change someone's heart? Waiting for God to provide for an emotional, mental, financial, or spiritual need? Waiting for God to restore a marriage or a home, waiting for God to repair a friendship that's been broken or strained, waiting for God to get through to our kids or family members who have strayed from His love. Waiting for a better medical report. Waiting to get through the school year or pass an important test or waiting to hear back from college applications.

Waiting is HARD.

Yet all over the Bible, we read verses on waiting and the benefits/promises that go with it.

Here's just a few -

Psalm 130:5-6
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

James 5:11
As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry

Hebrews 6:15
And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

Psalm 37:34
Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

The Bible covers this topic thoroughly. Yet when we're in the midst of waiting, it's hard to remember there is the other side to it. That's where we struggle and get impatient - we feel like the waiting period will never end!

I realized something the other day that opened my eyes to this season of waiting in my own life. We constantly hear and read "Wait for the Lord" or "Wait on the Lord." And we should. That's right. That's a Biblical command. Do it! :)

But I think subconsciously, we connect "waiting" with distance. Right? When we're waiting, we're separated from the thing or person we want and are waiting for. Even when we're waiting for our food to heat up in the microwave, we're separated from it. We're waiting for it to be done so we can touch it and eat it.

Here's the thing - We're to wait FOR the Lord - but we can't ever forget we are also waiting WITH the Lord!

Jesus is there in the waiting room with us!

His Word promises us He never leaves us or forsakes us. Let that assurance of His presence ease the wounds and uncertainty of the waiting room.

It really changes everything when we keep this perspective.

We are safe in His timetable.

How BIG is Your God?

My husband and I read the Bible, a devotional book, and pray together every morning. This passage from Traveling Light really made my heart soar.

You don’t need what Dorothy found. Remember her discovery in THE WONDERFUL WIZARD of OZ? She and her trio followed the yellow-brick road only to discover that the wizard was a wimp! Nothing but smoke and mirrors and tin-drum thunder. Is that the kind of god you need?

You don’t need to carry the burden of a lesser god … a god on a shelf, a god in a box, or a god in a bottle. No, you need a God who can place 100 billion stars in our galaxy and 100 billion galaxies in the universe. You need a God who can shape two fists of flesh into 75 to 100 billion nerve cells, each with as many as 10,000 connections to other nerve cells, place it in a skull, and call it a brain.

And you need a God who, while so mind-numbingly mighty, can come in the soft of night and touch you with the tenderness of an April snow.

You need a Yahweh.

And, according to David, you have one. He is your shepherd. ~Max Lucado, Traveling Light, p. 16-17

How BIG is your God today? How powerful is He? How does this transform your day? Your life?

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
2 Corinthians 4:7-9
My God is BIG, and today I expect Him to do BIG things!

How about you?

standing up as christians in a culture that increasingly hates us....

I'm buried in writing a book right now but I had to take a moment and share a video with you all - a video made by students, and a video that invites you to get involved.

Check it out:-)



~Sarah~

Brave?

I've never considered myself a brave person. I was the kid who couldn't go near water after seeing Jaws (Okay, I admit it, I still spot imaginary fins once in a while and catch myself wanting to run for dry land.) or sleep without the hall light on. I avoid confrontation as if it were the equivalent of skydiving without a parachute, and I am terrified of air travel. People think I'm gutsy because I am not only willing to speak, sing, or perform in front of an audience but will be the first to raise my hand for solo auditions. But when it comes to the scary life stuff, I would much rather play it safe. At least that is how it has been until lately.

Without delving into all the drama, the last few years have been filled with moments when I had no choice but to face the unavoidable head on and make choices that required huge risks. Cowering and avoiding simply weren't options. At the time, it seemed like I was only doing what I had to do. I was scared out of my mind 99% of the time, so I didn't consider my actions all that courageous. When friends started telling me, "You are one of the strongest women I know," or responding to my stories with, "That took a lot courage," it took a while for me to realize that they were right. That's when I recognized that perhaps I was braver than I gave myself credit for, but that I couldn't take the credit. Maybe I had brave all wrong. Is it possible that God's wants us to be a bit fearful so we will cry out to Him when life crashes down, and give Him the glory when we get to the end of a crisis and realize that we just faced something that should have sent us running in the opposite direction? 

Now, I see that being brave is about more than sleeping in the dark, swimming with sharks, and skydiving; it's about standing strong when life seems to be crumbling and making the tough decisions knowing God is with me. I have learned through all this that, like grace and strength, courage is something that God given when we need it, and that the more we see Him take us through, the more we are able to say, "I am scared to death, but I'm going to try this anyway."

How brave are you when you really think about it? What are you afraid of? What have you done lately that required a lot of guts?


Now that I'm feeling so strong, perhaps I'll try swimming in the ocean. On second thought, I'm not quite that brave.