Plugging into the power...

In Sunday School the past few weeks in my adult class, we've been talking about the Holy Spirit and His purpose. What He does in us and for us, etc. It's been enlightening - sometimes, even though you grow up "knowing" something in the church, it's good to refresh and get new insight into the topic. You can never learn everything there is about God! :)

We've been discussing the truth that in order to access the Holy Spirit's power in our life, we have to be available to it. That means with our hearts and not just with our heads. The Holy Spirit IS power to us. He is what prompts us to conviction, what whispers to us when we're about to cross a line. He also guides us and helps us make the right decisions. He gives us peace.

It's an awesome, awesome gift. So why don't Christian's use it????

We're lazy.

Ouch, but true. To have that power source at our fingertips, we have to do our part. Pray regularly. Read our Bible. Those sound like "church" answers but they're true. If we never go to church and learn more about Christ, never fellowship with other believers, never spend real time in prayer and real time searching our Bibles for direction and hiding God's Word in our hearts...we are powerless as Christians. And there's nothing the devil likes more than that!

So maybe today, take an extra few minutes to read your devotional book. Comb through the Psalms. Or pick a book and just start reading. Acts is a fantastic book about the early church and what happened after Jesus' death and resurrection with the disciples. Romans is also chockful of amazing advice and breakdown of salvation. Hebrews is one of my favorite books in the Bible. Just pick one and start reading and ask the Holy Spirit to give you understanding and a stronger connection to Him.

And if nothing I said so far makes any sense at all, and you don't understand what the Holy Spirit is, or even how to have a relationship with Jesus, then please email me. betsystamant@yahoo.com I'd be happy to answer privately any questions you have or show you how to come to Christ :)

Have a blessed Tuesday!

Where I should be Today

Right now, I should be at the Amtrak station waiting for a train, to meet a friend and spend the night at her house before heading to a small writer's conference. Tomorrow I should be serving on the prayer team at that conference, greeting conferees, and handing out goodie bags. I should be waiting to hear one of my other friends and fellow writers speak. Instead, I am home. My plan for the day consists of writing this blog post, working on three writing/editing projects, doing laundry, and other ordinary everyday tasks. Why the change of plans, you might be wondering? Plan A sound so much more fun.

Last Friday, less than twenty-four hours after paying for my train reservation and getting other details set in stone, my plan for this weekend completely unraveled.

I won't bore you with all the details. Thankfully, the circumstances that forced me to cancel didn't involve an injury, death, or illness. It was simply one of those situations where one complication after another hit in an alarmingly short period of time and left me thinking, this clearly isn't meant to be.  

At first I was bummed. Okay, I'm still a little bummed. I wanted so badly to spend time with that friend picking me up at the train station, welcome people to the conference and pray for them, and hear my other friend speak. Though I knew the situation was beyond my control, I felt like a flake for canceling, even as my friend insisted, "Do not feel bad. God is saying no and you're obeying Him. I'm proud of you for doing that." But when I replay the events in my mind, and how quickly I went from definitely going to definitely not, I know that I am where I should be today, even if it isn't where I want to be.

As I sit here feeling like I'm missing out, I know that I prayed for God to make it abundantly clear whether or not I should go to the conference. In fact, I put off paying for my reservation until the eleventh hour just to be sure. And the next morning, he made His answer clear. But He also allowed the ticket to be completely refundable and everyone involved to respond with kindness and understanding.

I have no idea why He altered my plans. Maybe my family needs me more than my friends do, or maybe I was cramming too much into one summer (I do have some deadlines coming up). While all my expenses were covered except the train ticket, perhaps even spending money on that wasn't wise right now. Did someone else need to hand out those goodie bags and pray with people? It's possible that the reason is so not-about-me that I will never know. 

So I am determined to trust God on this one, keeping in mind that His goal is never to mess with my plans just for the sake of reminding me who is in charge. He knows where we need to be and when. Sure, it would be nice to have a "Now I see why I needed to be home today" moment, but if not, I'm making up my mind to be content where I am.

Can you relate to this story? Has God altered your plans this week? As hard and disappointing as it is (and it really is okay to admit to God that you're disappointed), try to be content. Ask Him to help you accept His Plan B, whether you find out the reason behind it or not.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps" Proverbs 16:9.

Book Review: Stress Point, by Sarah Francis Martin

There’s nothing like starting out on a 2,000 mile road trip, getting 200 miles in, and realizing there’s a gas-shortage that spans three states due to storms.

My boy and I… we’re not great planners.

Which results in a lot of stress. Which is why I need books like Sarah Martin’s Stress Point. And if you’re anything like me…

Sarah F. Martin

In Stress Point, my new friend (Really! Sarah lives in the same town as I do!) outlines different “stress points” young women face. Some stresses are self-inflicted, some are just a part of life in your twenties.

I particularly loved the self-image chapter, because Sarah so aptly describes her own walk through an eating disorder. She is so real. And self-image is definitely my biggest battle! You are going to relate to every word that comes out of her mouth. (Er… fingers!)

So if you find yourself overwhelmed by different life-stresses, this book might just be for you.

And it’s a two-fer! When you buy the book now, you can jump into the LIVE Stress Point study Sarah is also leading on her blog this summer.

You can also WIN a copy of the book Sarah gave to me! Just leave a reply to this post and I will randomly choose one winner (announced August 4^th) to receive the grand prize!! (Thanks for providing this, Sarah!)

Classic...or OLD?

A lot of times, the word "Classic" is used to fancy up something that's just flat out old.

"Classic Car" - uh, no, it's old, has no AC or floor mats, has stains on the ceiling and something slimy in the glove compartment. OLD.

"Classic movies" - a.k.a. out of style and boring. OLD.

"Classic novels" - otherwise known as hard to read and confusing. OLD.

But here's where I challenge you to back up a minute ;) 

Driving a car without AC (especially in the south, in the summer) is pretty much unacceptable no matter how truly clasic the vehicle. ;) And sometimes, classic movies just make you squint in black and white despite the gems out there that really are worth watching (Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, anything with John Wayne, etc.)

But I beg you to give some classic books a try before you blow them off as OLD. Charles Dickens. Jane Austen. Charlotte Bronte.

For example - I had NO idea how downright hilarious Pride and Prejudice was as a novel. I'd seen the movies, both versions, growing up and loved them but when I actually sat down to read the novel...I was totally caught off guard. The girls' father is so stinkin' funny, he has the best one-liners and dry wit/sarcasm that makes me think back to Jane's time and how unique her story was to her day and age. She's a true literary heroine!

This summer, as you're combing through the best seller lists on Amazon or Barnes & Noble and trying to figure out which story to purchase or download for your Kindle or Nook, consider a classic. Sure, they have big words sometimes and are written in a different style that's not always a page-turner, but they've lingered through the ages for a reason. They're quality novels, and I think everyone should read Pride and Prejudice or Emma or Great Expectations or Jane Eyre at some point in their life.

And don't forget to spend some time this summer in the Ultimate Classic Novel - the Bible :)

"Read the Sign."

I spotted the woman while running errands. She sat under a large shade tree, holding a sign that I couldn’t read but knew was a plea for cash. The closer I got to my first stop—the bank—the closer I got to the sadly-obese woman. That’s when I noticed her sunburned face and started to feel sorry for her. How long had she been sitting out there in the heat? How did she get to the place where she had to spend her evenings holding a sign in a busy parking lot instead of relaxing at home after a day of work? Should I give her something? Sure, I couldn’t help noting her strategic location, but how could I judge her when I’d never been reduced to begging? I knew better than to give a homeless person money, but what about some food? I remembered the Manna Bags that friends from church started keeping in their cars a few years ago. Many of them had told stories of handing the bags of snacks and toiletries to people asking for money. “I’ve never had anyone turn one away.” “They are always appreciative.” Because I don’t drive, I’ve never been able to keep Manna Bags handy but always wished I could. My next stop was the Dollar Store. Why not pick something up for her there? I could choose items that my sons liked in case the woman was gone by the time I returned. Buying the bottled water and granola bars felt great. My paced picked up as I walked back to the tree beside the bank. My heart raced with anxiety as I approached this total stranger. “Excuse me,” I said. I held out a bottle of water and two bars. “Here you go.” Instead of taking my gift, the woman waved it away. “No thank you. Seriously, what I need is what the sign says—two dollars minimum.” Not exactly the response I expected. “I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I don’t have any cash to give you, but . . . um . . . I hope you get what you need.” What happened to they are always appreciative? Why would I, who had wished for so long to help a needy person, be the one to offer water and a granola bar to the woman with a $2-cash minimum? My parting words to her replayed in my mind: I hope you get what you need? What did she need, really (besides the obvious: a job and Jesus)? What if she truly did need water and food? And who wouldn’t at least see a bottle of water as provision? Maybe I had held out exactly what her body craved but she was too focused on her desire for money to recognize it? How many times had I done the same thing to God, I wondered—waved away what I needed, possibly even the answer to my prayers, because it wasn’t what I wanted. How many times had a pointed to my own version of hand-printed cardboard and basically told my creator, “Read the sign. This is what I want. Keep your Dollar Store substitutes.” Maybe I’d just received a small taste of how my ungrateful responses have grieved God. As I walked home, I prayed that the woman sitting under the tree would get what she needed—what she really needed. Since then, I’ve continued to pray that I would receive each blessing that comes my way with gratitude, even if it doesn’t look like what I wrote on my cardboard sign.

Worth it...

I spent some time uploading our pictures from vacation and found this one that my oldest daughter snagged in a moment before we posed.

I adore this man. We've been married just over seventeen years. We have three beautiful daughters and way too many pets.

Can I just take a moment to say that waiting for God's guy for you? - it. is. totally. worth. it.

You don't want second best. And only God knows what is best for you.

I spent far too much time in high school and college stressing and fretting and wondering if someone could or would ever love me. All of those were wasted moments because God knew all along who was right for me. And He knew exactly how to cross our paths and bring us together.

Trust Him. Even when it seems dark and hard and you're fumbling. Trust Him.

Praying for you tonight,

Sarah


Sarah Anne Sumpolec is the author of the Becoming Beka series and has a brand new YA novel coming out next spring!! Stay tuned for more info. In the meantime you can find her at her website.

Love Inspired Suspense week at Harlequin.com!

Camy here! Sorry I'm a little late today, but I wanted to tell you about Love Inspired Suspense week over at Harlequin.com! If you're a reader and you love romantic suspense, head over for the party! We're giving away copies of Formula for Danger!

http://community.harlequin.com/showthread.php/411-June-Love-Inspired-Suspense-Spotlight

There's also a June Love Inspired Suspense reading challenge!

http://community.harlequin.com/showthread.php/412-JUNE-Spotlight-Reading-Challenge-Love-Inspired-Suspense

Yep, I'm going there...

Fifty Shades of Gray - to read or not to read...

There's a lot of talk about this book, and a lot of that talk is being generated by teenagers who were big fans of the Twilight Saga.

If you haven't heard of this novel yet, I beg you - go about your business. You're missing nothing. But if you have heard and are considering reading this series, I beg you  - don't.

There's a lot I could say here, and a lot I won't, for the same reason other authors are struggling with - we don't want to bring any more awareness to the issue than there already is. Still, ignoring it doesn't make it go away, and as several authors have pointed out - the devil is having a blast with this one. So if you have an opinion about this novel (or any other controversy issue as a Christian) don't be afraid to speak up. Stand up for your beliefs. Be heard.

So here I am standing up! ;)

Don't read it.

Here's why.

1. Girls, if you're in a relationship (dating or married) and don't want your significant other looking at porn, then you shouldn't be reading Fifty Shades of Gray (or the entire trilogy). It's porn in book form (known officially as erotica) So that's not fair, and is just as wrong.

2. If you read this, you will be putting images in your mind as a reader that can't go away. As someone on Amazon said "You can't un-read this book." Very true. And you'll probably want to un-read it afterward.

3. This novel, once devoured, will leave you hungry for more like it. Just like pornography - it addicts. Some are arguing that if they're married or active with their significant other, the book will just spice up that area of their lives. NO. That is a lie from Satan. First of all, you know what the Bible says about keeping sex within marriage alone. And secondly, even if you're married, this is not the type of thing God annointed. This type of content will tear apart your marriage, not bring you closer together. Especially not in the long run. There are hundreds if not thousands of broken hearted women out there and stats that confirm this truth. Pornography (in any form - movie or book or whatever) will destroy. PERIOD.

Confession time - I read a page. I had heard the hype a while back, didn't understand it, was at B&N, and saw it on the endcap. I thought, "ok, I want to see what this is about." I had no idea. So I read the back cover, and thought "wow, how stupid. And wrong." I should have put it back on the shelf then and walked away. But just as there was hype about Stephanie Meyer's less than quality writing style with Twilight, there's been hype about this author's writing style. I wanted to see how badly it was written. So I flipped to a random page, and skim-read. It was a "scene".  (and yes the writing style isn't great. Believe me, don't look for yourself now) As I heard later there were "scenes" practically every other page, so I'm glad I didn't read further.

But I couldn't "un-read" that page and its still in my head. Trash. Garbage. Lies.

Please don't fall prey. If you've already read it and think it's not that big a deal, then fine. That's your opinion, and I'm not judging you. I'm simply stepping up for my convictions and trying to prevent innocence from being destroyed, especially in teenagers who are already forced to grow up way too fast. This is an adult book that even adults (Christian adults) don't need to be reading.

This series is NOT Twilight or the Hunger Games, guys. Skip it. Wait for the next fad. Or better yet, pick up some Christian Fiction YA like Judy Christie's "Wreath" or anything by Nicole O'Dell or Stephanie Morrill. Or my own "Addison Blakely, Confessions of a PK". There's quality reading out there, guys. Avoid this pothole! And spread the word.

Daddy's Girl

Hey—it’s Bekah.

Yesterday was a hard day for some of you. You didn’t grow up with warm Fathers’ Day memories. Maybe your dad wasn’t there emotionally; maybe he wasn’t there at all.

Whatever your struggle is, I hope these words from Heather Riggleman will encourage you today. You are not alone.

Character cameo--Josh Cathcart

Camy here! In Protection for Hire, there’s the character of Josh Cathcart who appears twice--once when Tessa is picking up her new friend Karissa, and again at a very dangerous and romantic ball.

Those of you who read my Sushi series may also remember Josh from a particularly memorable scene in Single Sashimi that involved massive amounts of red peppers and a slice of pizza--which really happened to a youth group member at my church. :)

In case you haven’t read it or need a refresher, here’s Josh’s first appearance in Single Sashimi. I think it completely explains his behavior in Protection for Hire. :)

In this scene, Venus is helping with the church youth group and the scene opens with a youth group game that we really did at my church several years ago.

Josh, a tall high school boy, clutched his stomach with one hand while the other still held the half-eaten slice of pizza. Except it was no ordinary pizza—this one had gobs of dried red pepper flakes piled on top of it. Sweat streamed down his face, and he grimaced as he chewed.

Herman sat next to him, the instigator of this agonizing “game,” wincing as he gathered the courage to take a bite of his own pizza, also loaded with red pepper flakes.

First one to finish won.

The high school kids gathered around, cheering and laughing. They loved challenging Herman because he was up for anything. Including excruciating bites of food that would probably melt his intestines tomorrow.

Leaning against the wall next to Venus, Rachel huffed. “He’s supposed to be my date for the Monster’s Ball, and now he’s going to be too sick to go! I’ll kill him!”

Naomi tittered. “If the pizza doesn’t kill him first.”

“You actually have a Monster’s Ball?” Venus studied Rachel’s face to see if she was just pulling her chain.

“Well, it’s just a ball where the girls dress up and the guys dress grungy.” Naomi sighed, echoed by a couple of the other teens.

“And it’s in a couple weeks?”

“The weekend before Halloween.”

“Do you guys dress as something?”

“We try.” Sarah gave a sigh that came up from her gut and emptied her lungs.

“Oh, ignore her.” Rachel flapped a hand in her direction. “She’s still peeved her mom wouldn’t let her go as a belly dancer last year.”

Venus’s mouth dropped open. “Belly dancer? I don’t blame her.”

“It was only three inches. Three little inches of midriff.”

“Tcha! It was more like seven or eight.”

“Besides, at least you can go.” Mika looked down, not meeting anyone’s eyes. There was a thread of hurt in her voice that silenced the other girls, as well.

“Your parents won’t let you go?” Venus didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t used to dealing with drama like this. Her mother’s drama didn’t count—most of the time, that was like spaghetti thrown at a wall. Her mother would hurl all kinds of things at Venus to see what would stick, what would provoke a reaction.

“My mom won’t let me go to any dances.”

“Her mom hates men,” Naomi piped up. “Ow!”

Sarah had smacked her in the arm. “Dummy. You don’t know if Mika wants somebody else to know that.”

“Oh.”

“No, it’s okay.” Mika had that distant look and tone that Venus recognized, trying to pretend the issue wasn’t that important when in reality, it ate at her heart like battery acid. “She’s been like that since Dad left.”

Silence descended among them, surrounded by the cheering of the other kids as Josh and Herman ate themselves to death. The girls fiddled with their earrings, their bracelets, their rings, with stray threads on their fashionable tops, with strands of their hair. What should she say now? Venus’s panic was like a silent scream in the midst of their non-chatter. She didn’t have a clue on how to be warm and fuzzy.

Jenn. Her cousin was always encouraging and sweet and everything Venus was not. She’d pretend to be Jenn. “It’s okay—” She put her hand on Mika’s shoulder.

She shrugged it off. “No, actually, it’s not okay.”

The girls seemed to be all holding their breaths.

“It totally sucks.” Mika spoke in a throbbing whisper. “Sometimes I just hate her for being so unreasonable. And she’s so bitter and selfish and she just doesn’t listen to me.”

Hmm, that sounded familiar.

“And Pastor Lester always says for us to do our best to honor our parents, because that’s the only commandment with a promise attached.”

There it was again. The commandment had popped into her head the past few weeks at random times. “How do you honor a parent you can’t even respect?”

“Exactly!” Mika’s breast heaved.

Venus didn’t want to encourage a griping session, but she also knew she was supposed to have some kind of answer, wasn’t she? After all, she was a youth leader, and she’d read through her Bible twelve times. Shouldn’t she know how to answer her, rather than asking an angst-filled question?

“It’s so hard.” Mika sighed. “And I’ve been trying so hard. But I keep getting into fights with her.”

Venus couldn’t even say she was trying. This fifteen-year-old girl embarrassed her with her passionate heart. Venus’s faith was simply stagnant—she treated her mother the way she’d always treated her.

“Do you still want to go shopping with us tomorrow?” Naomi asked.

“Naomi!” Rachel hissed.

“It’s okay.” Mika sniffled. “I can at least go shopping. It’s one of the few things she’ll let me do.”

Venus doubted Mika’s mom was that restrictive, but she had realized in the past few weeks that these girls liked to exaggerate. Practically everything.

“Venus, you want to come with?” Naomi asked.

“Me?” She looked around at their fresh, young faces. “I don’t know a thing about ball dresses.” She hadn’t gone to her own prom, much less any other dance in high school.

“But you’re always dressed nice.” Rachel fingered her Banana Republic blouse.

After that first night at youth group, she’d dressed both for potential mess and with a little more style. Problem was, her closet consisted of suits, workout clothes, and loungewear she’d never walk out of her house with. Her designer jeans had cost several hundred dollars, her tops were mostly separates to go with her suits.

But they must have thought she looked nice. Maybe it was the fact the price tag on her back probably topped these girls’ allowances for an entire year. “I guess … if you guys really want me to.”

“Yes!” Naomi clapped her hands. “You can help us pick out something really sophisticated.”

Maybe all those fashion and gossip mags she loved weren’t just mind candy—she could use the style guides to help these girls look their best.

The one person who really knew fashion was her mother.

No. No no no no no. She wasn’t even going to consider that. She hadn’t spoken to Mom—or rather, her mom hadn’t spoken to her—since that day at work weeks ago. Mom wouldn’t even want to see her.

No, that wasn’t true. Usually her mother’s moodiness ensured she didn’t hold grudges for very long. If Venus proffered an olive branch, Mom would probably leap at it.

Honor your father and mother.

She’d stopped telling herself to shut up by now because it hadn’t been working. It had also occurred to her that the voice might be God and not just some secret place in her head.

“Can my mom come, too?” The words flew out of her mouth before she could change her mind.

The girls looked thoughtful.

“She’s really good at fashion. Better than me. She’d love helping you guys.” And she realized that it was true. Her mother would delight in helping each girl look stunning in just the right dress for her.

“Okay.” Naomi’s eyes were as luminous as Mikimotos. “I could use help because I have such big hips.” She sighed and looked down at her teeny weeny torso.

Venus had never been that small, and never could be, with her bone structure. She wisely looked away before she did something dumb. Like smack her.

“I’d like to meet your mom,” Mika said.

Oh, Lord, I hope this isn’t a mistake.

Meanwhile, at the table, Josh shoved his last bite into his mouth and collapsed onto the floor.

Excerpted from the novel Single Sashimi © 2009 Camy Tang

What kind of toothpaste are you anyway?

If you've ever been to a youth retreat or youth camp or even a youth service on Wednesday night, there's a good chance you've heard the Toothpaste Example.

If you think I'm crazy, let me explain :)

The toothpaste example one can be summed in one sentence, really.

Ahem.

"What's inside of you will come out when squeezed".

Get it yet? Basically, our bodies/hearts/lives are like a tube of toothpaste. When we're squeezed - when the storms of life arise, when we are faced with hardship or loss or frustration or anger (whether that be a broken heart from a dissolved relationship or something as simple as a papercut) what's inside of us will be revealed.

That's going to be either:

1. A pretty, blue-and-white-striped glob of healthy toothpaste that makes our teeth stronger and our breath smell great (i.e. an attractive attitude with a pure heart and best intentions)

or...

2. A dried, slightly gooey and disgusting string of used up, nasty toothpaste that should have been thrown away months ago. (i.e. curse words, slanderous talk, lies, defensiveness, and accusations)

What are you when squeezed?

Does Love Mean I Should Treat Everyone the Same Way?

We'd dated for a few months before I decided it was time to call it quits after it became clear to me our relationship wasn't what I wanted. Friendship sounded like the right thing to do when we broke up. After all, we had several friends in common and even took some of the same classes. Surely we were mature enough to be able to keep our friendship. 


Over the weeks after our breakup, it became increasingly difficult to be "friends" with my ex-boyfriend. He wanted to hang out one-on-one. He wanted a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to road trip with, and someone to study with. All of those things were definitely things I would do with any of my other friends. But I felt like there needed to be a line with him. No one-on-one time or road trips or crying shoulders. When I told him that, he frowned. 


"But...we're friends. And I want you to treat me just like you treat all our other friends. I deserve to be treated the same ways as everyone else." His eyes teared up. 


The undercurrent of his words struck me in the heart. Did he really deserve equal treatment? Was it unloving of me to draw parameters around our friendship? Was treating him differently than my other friends wrong?


I decided to stick to my decision. Unfortunately, he didn't feel like my boundaries were important, and I felt completely disrespected so I made the decision to end our friendship altogether. For months afterwards, I battled feelings of uncertainty. I didn't want to look like I hated him. I didn't want to be that girl who didn't love others. 


Craig Groeschel, author and pastor, said this in his book Soul Detox: "Our boundaries will help us to enjoy the good people without inhaling the bad. If you think that sounds unnecessary, realize that even Jesus regularly set boundaries. Our Savior loved everyone equally, but He didn’t treat everyone equally. There’s a big difference."


That person wasn't a good person for me to spend time with. The damage I'd allowed him to do to my self-esteem and my friendships with others wasn't worth any extra time. During one tear-filled journaling session, I realized he was a toxic person to me, and if I wanted to grow and thrive as a healthy young woman, we needed to stay away from each other. That boundary was hard for me. 


Pastor Steven Furtick said, "God’s command for you to love everyone is not permission for you to mismanage the investment that he’s put inside of you."


In drawing the line and saying that we couldn't continue our "friendship", what I was really telling myself was, "I'm guarding the investment God's put inside of me by choosing healthy relationships."


How do you build boundaries to promote healthy relationships in your own life? 

Ashley Mays is the former Editorial Assistant for Brio and Brio & Beyond magazines and currently writes her own fiction for teens. She enjoys rock climbing, people watching in airports, and hanging out with her mom, who is her best friend. Ashley lives with her husband in Colorado. No, they don't ski. Learn more about Ashley on facebook, twitter, or on her website.

Are Peeps Safe?

[Microsoft Clip Art]

No—I’m not talking about those marshmallows covered in sugar—although the soft, gooey, delicious things are pretty safe...

I’m actually talking about the peeps in your life—the friends you can trust. 

You know—the ones you can tell anything, including the fact that you haven’t shaved your legs in three days, and they won’t judge you.

(Scratch that. That’s something I should only write in my journal.)

If you have a friend who listens and cares, you’re lucky. But if you find yourself investing in relationships again and again only to be used or betrayed, you might have a problem: the lack of experience to know when someone’s a “safe person”.

(I first learned of this concept when I read the book “Safe People” by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend several years ago. I highly recommend the book! Truly eye-opening.)

The book prompted me to make a personal list of what a safe person looks like:

-Knows how to give and receive—the conversation is neither all about you or all about them. There is mutual caring.

-Talks kindly about other people. (If they’re constantly critical of others, they’re going to be critical of you too.)

-Has grace. Understands when you have a bad day and doesn’t berate you for it.

- Doesn’t see you as a project. Loves you where you are.

You might think it’s impossible to find a friend like this… but I’m glad to tell you God has brought several people into my life who are like this. They are out there!

Just remember that no one person is going to be “safe” all the time. Everyone has bad days, but if your friends are exhibiting unsafe symptoms all the time, that might be a sign you should reconsider spending the bulk of your time with them.

So what about you? What qualities are on your "Safe Peeps" list? What qualities aren't?

***

Thanks for checking out my mom's blog post. She's learning to be a "safe" person as she grows up... and I'm helping her grow up FAST (lack of sleep does that).

You can learn more about me at mom's blog, where she strives to tell the Bare Naked Truth always.

I finally finished The Hunger Games trilogy

Camy here, and I just finished Mockingjay yesterday.

Overall, a highly entertaining trilogy. I don’t always think Katniss is a very likable character, but I really felt for her struggles. I could wish she did somethings and not others, but then again she’s a seventeen year old girl and her government and the Capital society is cold-hearted and corrupt. Who am I to say I wouldn’t make some of the same choices? Because I think that I probably would.

Heather over at OurAdvocate pointed out something I hadn’t noticed before--throughout the entire series, there is not one word about any type of religion in Panem. That’s something worth noting, because I think that we as humans are created to believe in something. We’re built to have a spiritual hole that we try to fill, but can only be truly satisfied with Jesus.

I’m not going to try to attribute any type of Christian themes to the Hunger Games trilogy, because I don’t think that was the author’s intent anyway. But it was a good commentary on our society, and more importantly what we could be capable of.

We are all human, all fallen short of the glory of God. But thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord, that where my sin increases, His grace for me increases all the more (Rom 7:25, 5:20).

And where your sin increases, His grace for you increases all the more. Peace out, chicks.

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Stepping outside ourselves...

Betsy here!

Do you ever get the feeling your world has shrunk?

That somehow, suddenly, your world is nothing but homework and pop quizzes and fights with your best friend?

Or if you're a mom, your world is suddenly nothing but diapers and Cheezit crumbs and Nick Junior on TV?

I think we're due for a wake-up call.

It's good to get outside our own world. Up close, things look overwhelming and blurry. But when we shift our perspective, and lean back to broaden our view, things come into focus. We see more, and see more clearly.

Challenge yourself this week to wake up and ask God how you can bless someone else during your day. Maybe that's through sending a card or email or text message to a friend on your mind. Maybe that's complimenting a girl who you don't typically talk to at school on her clothing or hairstyle. Picking up something for someone that they dropped. Taking cookies to a new neighbor or a neighbor that just had a baby or a sickness in tnheir family. Smiling at strangers in the hallway. Doing a chore for your parents or sibling without being asked.

Trust me - small, random acts of kindness go a LONG way, especially in today's self-centered world. 

You'll be amazed at the results, and at the way taking your focus off your own problems brings peace and compassion and growth in your life.

Maybe you want to take it a step further and really embrace a bigger world. Go online to World Vision (http://www.worldvision.org/) and sponsor a child for an affordable monthly payment. You'll develop a relationship with this girl or boy in a foreign, poverty stricken country and exchange letters and pictures with them for years. Nothing gave me a wake up call more than when I sponsored two girls, one in Colombia and one in Lebanon. I swear they blessed me more than I ever could them.

So think about it. Step outside the box, and not just that, step outside your world. There's a lot going on out there, and when we participate in something bigger than ourselves, we change. For the better.

So bad hair day or not, broken nail or not, broken relationship or not, broken heart or not - how can you help someone ELSE today?

I'll be doing this challenge with you! Please comment and let us know what you did to help someone this week. No good deed is too small.

Messed Up!

I found this on Facebook recently and saved it as my desktop display:

If you keep a journal, you can probably relate to the fear of having someone read it and find out how messed up you really are—what you honestly think and feel when you have the freedom to not hold back. I know I do! Today, seeing this kitten's face triggered a different thought: There is Someone who knows the contents of my journals and knows how messed up I am. He knows my thoughts before I scrawl them out in frustration upon the page. When I mask my feelings for others, I am not hiding a thing from Him. Unlike the idea of a family member or friend snooping a peek at my diary, the idea that God knows the contents of my heart brings deep comfort. He knows me to the core, yet what He sees does not keep Him from adoring me. Ponder that for a moment. Consider the mess your life would be without Christ. Thank Him for loving you no matter what the contents of your journal reveal.

Habakkuk 2:20 - thots from Camy

The LORD is in his holy temple;
Let all the earth be silent before him.
(TNIV)

I forget so easily how powerful and holy God is, then I read something like this in my daily Bible reading and I have to stop and mediate on it. Somehow remembering how holy He is makes me feel closer to Him.


Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.

Living with Purpose - Accidentally

It's neat to see how our lives tie together, isn't it? How the threads of things we enjoyed when we were younger are woven into the tapestry of our later years.  :)

For me, it was reading and writing. I used to sit on the floor in my room surrounded by books and literally crying because I wasn't old enough to read yet!!

Now my daughter shares that same frustration at 3 years old. I wonder if she'll go on to be a multi-published author and freelance journalist one day like me...

Or will other threads in her life be woven brighter into her tapestry, such as the ballet class she graduated from tonight and performs her first recital next week?

Or the way she doctors her stuffed animals - will she be a vet?

Or the way she is mama to her baby dolls. Will she grow up to homeschool her 5 or 8 kids?

God knows. I don't, but He does. And He's working in her life to weave that picture right now.

He's doing the same for you my friend!

We all have a purpose, and sometimes, we find this purpose by "accident". Meaning we didn't realize the impact this particular hobby or thought or idea or dream would have in our lives - but God knew. There are no accidents or surprises with our Heavenly Father! EVERYTHING in our lives is with purpose and reason, even when we don't see it or understand it. At 4 years old I didn't know that me desperately wanting to read my baby Disney books would carry over into a life spent in love with words and novels and stories. Looking back, it's clear.

What threads are you weaving today to bring glory to your Father tomorrow? Next year? In 10 years?

What do you think will happen, where will you be? Please share! :)

Need to Work off Your Aggressions?

Baking cinnamon rolls for my son’s birthday doubled as working off frustration after one particularly stressful day. “I need to Knead!” I announced on Facebook. My sweet friend Lois responded by posting a recipe for Aggression Cookies. Yes, it is just what it sounds like; you are actually encouraged to take your frustrations out on the cookie dough. I plan to make them this afternoon. I haven’t had a bad day, but beating up cookie dough does sound like fun. If you’d like to join me (maybe you have some emotions to vent), here is the recipe: Aggression Cookies Combine: 1 cup light brown sugar 1 cup margarine (= 2 sticks -good quality stick margarine, softened NOTE: I don’t like margarine so I plan to use butter.) 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking soda 2 cups quick-cooking oatmeal Mix all together until evenly distributed. THEN begin working it with your hands. Poke, knead, punch, squeeze, take out your aggressions on it. The more you punish it, the better the cookies. The margarine softens from the heat of your hands and finally gets all the dough soft and slick. Roll into small balls, place on cookie sheet and press down with heel of hand. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes or until done. Sometimes it helps to have a safe, healthy outlet for blowing off steam.

More unpopular thoughts about The Hunger Games

Camy here, and I am in the middle of Mockingjay so if you’ve already read it, PLEASE don’t spoil it for me. But for what it’s worth, here is a thought that came to me today:

In The Hunger Games (book one), Peeta doesn’t actually know that much about Katniss because he never spoke to her much before the games, yet he said he’s in love with her. That’s not really love.

I know, all you bleeding romantics will be complaining. But it’s true. How can you love someone when you don’t know them? That’s not love, that’s attraction. Or infatuation, which starts going into stalker category. (Yes, I know Peeta’s not a stalker.)

Infatuation doesn’t live long in the real world when you realize how different the two of you are, or when you see him pick his nose while farting.

Infatuation can grow into love, but I don’t think someone should say they love you if they hardly KNOW you. If someone says they love you, it should mean they know you, your good side AND your faults, and they love you anyway. That’s the kind of love Jesus modeled for us.

I’ve just got to the point where they discover Peeta is … ahem, sick.

Camy Tang writes romance with a kick of wasabi. Out now is the first book in her new series, Protection for Hire, which is like Stephanie Plum meets The Joy Luck Club. She is a staff worker for her church youth group, and leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service. On her blog, she ponders frivolous things like knitting, running, dogs, and Asiana. Visit her website to sign up for her quarterly newsletter.